Taylor: The Illuminati Sent the Hurricanes to Punish Trump Voters

Former firefighter turned Trump bootlicker, Christian con man and self-declared “prophet” Mark Taylor has a new conspiracy theory, one that came directly from God himself. The hurricanes that hit Florida and Texas a few weeks ago were sent by the Illuminati to punish those states for voting for Trump.


“These things did not come from God,” Taylor said. “People want to know where is this coming from. Well, I have the answer for you, it’s called the Illuminati, New World Order, Deep State, whatever you want to call it because they’re all part of the same team. The Lord showed me—and I know this is going to be a conspiracy theory but it’ll come out, the truth will come out one day to back this up—but the Lord showed me, Sheila, these two weather incidents with Harvey and Irma, they were manipulated and steered by man, literally.”

“The Lord said, ‘What two states did they hit? Florida and Texas. You think it’s a coincidence that both of these states were the largest electoral votes for Trump?’” Taylor continued. “So the Lord was giving me signs to prove that these were, in fact, manipulated and steered by man.”

Taylor went on to assert that the Illuminati targeted the U.S. with these hurricanes because Trump had “delegitimized climate control” by withdrawing from the Paris Accord, which he asserted was really just a “slush fund to fund the New World Order.”

And yet we have other self-declared “prophets” and people who claim to speak to God, or be “guided by the Holy Spirit” (or whatever), who say that God did send those hurricanes for various reasons (gays and abortion, mostly; the usual stuff). Who are we to believe? Which of you are speaking to God and which of you are really speaking to Satan, or just hearing voices in your head, or just lying?

And it was dash clever of the Illuminati to put Texas and Florida right in the normal path of Atlantic hurricanes. I mean, it’s not like those two states were the ones who usually bear the brunt of hurricanes, so “divine” intervention by a non-existent group of boogeymen is obviously the only possible explanation for it all.

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