‘Coach’ Dave: Vaccines Are Making People Gay!

The Christian right crackpots continue to find the most ridiculous explanations for why some people are gay. Alex Jones says it’s caused by juice boxes, including apparently turning the frogs gay. Some say it’s caused by chemtrails. But “Coach” Dave Daubenmire says it’s caused by vaccines.


“I read a lot of stuff,” Daubenmire said. “Have you noticed the explosion of deviant sexual proclivities? It used to just be homo and straight, then there was homo and straight and bi, then homo and straight and bi and trans, and homo and straight and bi and trans and gay; they keep adding initials, right?”

“I was reading something that this was happening, literally this was happening because our DNA is being changed,” he continued. “Our DNA is being changed not only through what we eat but through the stuff that we’re seeing right here. Who knows what was injected into some of these deviant sex people as children. When they say they were born that way, maybe they were vaccinated that way.”

It’s true. The lizard people vaccinate them on that Mars pedophile base we keep hearing so much about. Hillary Clinton designed the gay vaccine personally in a secret lab in the basement of that pizzeria that doesn’t have a basement (only sheeple believe that “no basement” line, amirite?).

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Really, Jeff Sessions?

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