Lively Running for Massachusetts Governor. Again.

Deranged anti-gay bigot Scott Lively is once again going to run for governor in Massachusetts, where he has precisely the same chance of getting elected as I do, and I’m not even running or eligible. But this time, he’s running as a Republican instead of an independent.


Calling the governor a “Republican-in-name-only,” Lively contended that Baker has hurt conservative values, legislated as a “de-facto big government pro-abortion Democrat” and “plundered the treasury of the Republican Party to wage war on conservatives.”

Further, Lively argued, the incumbent governor “has presided over a sizable drop in Republican enrollments — on track to transforming the Grand Old Party into his own personal nest of corrupt patronage and croneyism that will represent less than 10 percent of the electorate by 2020.”

“Somebody needs to stop Charles Baker before he completely destroys the Republican Party and its foundation of principled conservatism that is the only real hope for restoring Massachusetts to its former strength and health,” he said in a statement. “I think that person is Scott Lively.”

Oh yeah, you’re the guy to do it. Hey, maybe this time you’ll break one percent, which you failed to do last time. But if you pray about it really, super hard, I’m sure it’ll happen. I’ve also heard that throwing some olive oil around your house and office can help in some vague, mystical way. Something about an “anointing,” whatever that means. I can’t wait to hear about how your opponents are all possessed by Satan and all about those gay Nazi stormtroopers. That message goes over really well in Massachusetts.

"Nobody not named Zuidervelt or some damn thing anyway."

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