Wingnut: Hawking ‘Kept Alive by Demonic Forces’ to Counter Billy Graham

After 15 years of tracking the wingnutosphere every day, I can honestly say that this is one of the loopiest, most ridiculous things I’ve ever reported on. Mike Shoesmith, executive editor of something called PNN News and Ministry Network, says that Steven Hawking was kept alive by Satan so he could counter the message of Billy Graham.

“[Graham] is a hundred percent devoted,” Shoesmith said. “The Lord sees his heart, gives him a tremendous ministry, and who do you think is sitting in the background going, ‘I have to do something about this, this guy is sold out, I have to do something’? Who do you think is sitting in the background doing that? The devil, right?”

“So, in 1942, that is when Billy Graham’s ministry really takes off, and who do you think was born in 1942?” he continued. “Stephen Hawking. Stephen Hawking comes from a long line of atheists—his father and all these people—so I believe the devil said, ‘OK, this guy was just born and I’m going to use this guy. This guy is already primed to accept my message that there is no God. He is already primed for it, he is going to be awash, immersed in atheism all his years as a child, I’m going to take over this guy’s life.’”

“I believe Stephen Hawking was kept alive by demonic forces,” Shoesmith said. “I believe that it was the demonic realm that kept this man alive as a virtual vegetable his entire life just so he could spread this message that there is no God.”

Uh, yeah. If anyone is the vegetable here, buddy, it’s you. And I don’t mean that as an insult to any self-respective plant matter out there that is capable of outwitting this dolt. I don’t care who you are, that’s funny right there.

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