Missouri Republican Submits Looniest Resolution Ever

In the early days of this blog I gave an award to state legislators who really brought the crazy, and I’ve said many times that, as bad as Congress is, if you really want to find the most bizarre ones, you gotta look at the state legislature. And Republican State Senator Ed Emery provides a textbook example, a resolution he has submitted that would declare same-sex marriages “parody marriages.” And that’s in the first paragraph — it actually gets weirder from there.

Okay, try to parse this sentence:

Whereas, sexual orientation is a self-asserted sex-based identity narrative that is based on a series
of naked assertions and unproven faith-based assumptions that are implicitly religious;

Wait, what? He’s arguing that same-sex marriages are based on religious belief? Uh…okay. Where’s he going with this? Right to here:

Whereas, nonsecular policy is state action that endorses, respects, and recognizes the beliefs of a
particular religion and where the preeminent and primary force driving the state’s action is not genuine, but
is a sham that ultimately has a primary religious objective; and

Whereas, parody marriages and parody marriage policies are nonsecular for the purposes of the Establishment Clause of the United States Constitution;….

Whereas, all forms of parody marriage and self-asserted sex-based identity narratives and sexual orientations that fail to check out the human design are part of the religion of Secular Humanism;

Yes, he’s actually arguing that same-sex marriage is a tenet of secular humanism, which is a religious belief, and therefore it is a violation of the Establishment Clause for the state to recognize such marriages. The resolution calls for the state government to in defiance of the Supreme Court, “no longer respect, endorse, or recognize any form of parody marriage policies because parody marriages are nonsecular.”

I thought I had reached the point where the utter stupidity of an argument could surprise me, but at this point my flabber is gasted and my gob is smacked. It’s like logic being forced through a crazy straw. How anyone could do anything but laugh at this is beyond me. But it’s Missouri, so it might just pass.

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