Wingnut Issues a ‘Restraining Order’ Against the Antichrist

Rodney Howard-Browne, the South AFrican evangelist con man who invented “holy laughter,” told a gathering of half-witted crackpots that he was ordered by God to file a “restraining order” to “bind”…well, everything. The Anticrist, the secret cabal that runs the planet, everyone he disagrees with. And now he has them totally under control.

“I take authority over every system that has been set in place by the globalist agenda to destroy America,” he proclaimed, “[and] to take this nation through our schools and our universities and our education system, from the day care all the way to the universities and even to the seminaries. I execute a restraining order against you.”

“I take authority over the spirit of deception that controls the media and Hollywood and all of the entertainment industry,” he shouted. “I bind you even now, I render you powerless and ineffective. May your voice grow dim. In the name of Jesus, may the scales fall off the people of America, off of their eyes, may their ears come unstopped. May the lies be exposed for what they are.”

“You foul devil of hell, you foul spirit of Antichrist, I bind you in the name of Jesus,” Howard-Browne continued to bellow. “This is not your hour, this is the hour of the church of Jesus Christ. And to the Antichrist, you can wait in your hole where you belong until we are done. And we are not done yet and we are not going quietly into history. If it means death, then so be it!”

Okay, so you’ve taken authority over all of this and they can’t do anything now. Which means that if you ever complain about them doing anything evil ever again, it will prove that you failed in your efforts. Will that be because you’re now a powerful enough wizard? That your god doesn’t exist? That he wants to make you look like a liar? Take your pick.

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