Jesus Heals!

If you get hurt, these sure as hell better help you:


But if Jesus isn’t enough, they give you a toy inside! Oh ye of little faith…

Here’s the actual description:

Ouch! That smarts! Treat your minor cuts, scrapes and scratches with the incredible healing power of a designer bandage. And if a fancy bandage isn’t enough to dry up your tears, how about a FREE TOY! Each 3-3/4″ (9.5 cm) tall metal pocket tin contains fifteen 3″ x 1″ (7.6 cm x 2.5 cm) adhesive bandages and a small plastic trinket to help make even the ouchiest owies feel all better in no time.

Here’s my favorite part: Of the Top 25 products on that website, Jesus bandages rank just below giant, fake eyebrows.


(via Deep Thoughts)

[tags]atheist, atheism, Jesus, Christian, bandage[/tags]

"Do you purposefully delete your previous comments for the sole sake of making theists and ..."

This is How You Do “Common ..."
"Yeah only if you don't include that whole 1st amendment thing Knotty then I suppose ..."

Michigan Group Threatens Lawsuit Over Father ..."
"If the earth was flat, cats would have knocked everything off it by now."

Watch This Awkward Conversation About Racism ..."
"Don't know you think if that had any relevance the Founders would have included it, ..."

Michigan Group Threatens Lawsuit Over Father ..."

Browse Our Archives

Follow Us!

What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Nick

    This site has a few of the items cheaper, check out under specials. cheers!

  • PrimateIR

    We are proud owners of many of these items. The horrified b-movie victims play set rocks.

  • anti-nonsense

    I can’t help notice the Pirate bandages are the most popular item on that list. Obviously the patrons of that site are well versed in the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and his Noodly Appendages. RAmen.

  • healthyaddict

    I sent these to my friend in Iraq! LoL! They’re awesome! You can buy them at Hot Topic.

  • stogoe

    I want the Glow-in-the-Dark Flesh Eating Zombies, myself. Or the Pirate Attack. Judging by the names alone, these two are without a doubt the best products ever devised.

  • Lee

    I like that the Jesus bandages were not only listed belowthe fake eyebrow (as pointed out by Hemant), but they are also a mere one rank placement above the Rock Star sideburns. Facial hair is apparently in a dead heat competition with Christ in popularity.