Altar Boy Defense Tips

From Blame It On the Voices, who needs mace when you have these items to protect yourself?

CrucifixJab



IncenseHolderTwirl



VotiveCandleWax

I love how the priest looks the same in every picture.

And shouldn’t running away be the first step? You don’t even have to wait for the priest to do anything. Just run away. Period.

(via Goosing the Antithesis)


[tags]atheist, atheism, Catholic, priest, scandal[/tags]

  • http://mollishka.blogspot.com mollishka

    Off topic, but: have you heard about this?

  • LF

    What part of this is funny? Is it the part where you make light of children who have been sexually assaulted? Is it the contempt for the items that so many people hold sacred?

    99% of Catholic Priests have devoted their lives to make the world a better place. So you dwell on the 1%. There’s nothing friendly about you. You are an incredibly hateful fucker.

  • Maria

    LOL

  • Admiral-Evident

    I got a defense tip… don’t join the charade parade.

  • http://www.blogmerge.com Mark J. Seydel

    This is a riot! Thanx!

    LF – Shut up!

  • http://thatatheistguysblog.blogspot.com NYCatheist

    On a side note, I knew someone who taught self defense to women. It isn’t a joke that holding a key as you walk alone is a good idea. The teacher was jogging in the park once when someone jumped out and on top of her. Luckily she was holding her key as usually, so she jabbed the guy in his side and he fled.

  • Karen

    99% of Catholic Priests have devoted their lives to make the world a better place. So you dwell on the 1%.

    Ignoring your foul-mouthed nastiness for the moment, this brings up something that’s been bugging me. I see so many defenders of the Church bring up this ridiculous argument that it’s only a small minority of priests who are predatory pedophiles, so it’s somehow not so bad. Like that excuses ANYthing in this horrific scandal? Please.

    Let’s not forget the many, many dioceses whose higher-ups – presumably men who are uber-close to god and “chosen” by the holy spirit for important leadership positions – engaged in coverups, payoffs, minimizing complaints, dismissing or ridiculing victims and perpetuating further victimization for decades after they knew these disgusting predators were committing crimes.

    That is absolutely inexcusable and I can’t imagine why anyone in the U.S. is still devoted to the Catholic church after the revelations of the last decade. It’s unbelievable.

  • Pingback: Pax Nortona - A Blog by Joel Sax » Insert a Trite Metaphor for a Corral #72

  • LF

    I see so many defenders of the Church bring up this ridiculous argument that it’s only a small minority of priests who are predatory pedophiles, so it’s somehow not so bad.

    I don’t understand your position. You think that 1% is as bad as 100% would be? What sense does that make? Of course it’s not as bad because it’s only a small minority of priests. Duh.

  • Karen

    I don’t understand your position. You think that 1% is as bad as 100% would be? What sense does that make? Of course it’s not as bad because it’s only a small minority of priests. Duh.

    LF, if there was one or two pedophile priests in isolated incidents, I would still think it was horrific. Any child being victimized is a terrible thing, and never to be minimized.

    The reality is there were sex scandals in numerous cities all over the country, and hundreds (thousands?) of victims stretching out over decades. That this came to light only in the latter half of the 20th century probably means that the abuse went on for far longer than that. It’s only in the last few decades that child victims have been able to come forward at all, and there’s still far too much shame and stigma attached.

    Worse yet, as I mentioned, these predators had superiors who covered up for them for decades. That’s disgusting and nullifies any claim of divine inspiration for the Catholic church for me.

  • Cave Canem

    Well, I know the creator of these gems and his name is Frank Santopadre (sainted father in Italian), I just love the irony. Anyway, kudos to Frankie for hitting it out of the park.

    As for the Catholic Church. Their time has passed. They are no longer relevant and any well-educated person realizes this. In my opinion, any individual or group which is in-organic and refuses to alter their philosophy with time and enlightenment is the picture of ignorance.

  • canguru

    Cave Canem I absolutely agree with you, inspite of the fact that I was born to Catholic parents and baptised. The world is in the state today due to the persistence of such ignorance among others.


CLOSE | X

HIDE | X