Do-It-Yourself God Billboards

a few years ago, when moe’s burrito restaurant first came to orlando, they put up a few “god-style” billboards that read: Welcome to Moe’s – God.
sadly, those came down not long after they went up. i guess that to some people the thought of god serving burritos was offensive.

i guess that to some people the thought of god serving burritos was offensive.

I’ve been served burritos by Jesus.

Sorry, someone had to say it.

My billboard said:

“Seriously? White on black? Nobody in all of My creation could come up with a better design scheme for a billboard? Buckle up for Flood v2.0, mofos – God”

mine says “Ceiling cat isn’t the only one who watches…”

A few random ideas. While I think offending religious people is counterproductive at best, I do appreciate sharing an off-color joke now and then with the appropriate crowd

“My biggest failure? If only you shared my fondness for beetles… ” –God

“Sorry about the nipples, guys.” –God

“Hey, I’ll bet you $20 that your car is about to explode?” –God

“If I wanted to be in Government, I’d run for office… ” –God

“Do you REALLY believe everything you read?” –God

“If the Devil-in-disguise taught you to interpret the Bible, warped your ability to THINK, would you notice?”

“I made you all this cool stuff, and all you can do is keep reading that dusty old book… ” –God

“Seriously, I don’t need your money – those guys are just screwing with you.” –God

“If I didn’t want you to think, I wouldn’t have given you that brain.” –God

“I grounded him from writing more books until he got rid of religion. Sorry for all the trouble.” –God’s Mom.

“I knew I shouldn’t have let him write that book!” –God’s Mom.

“Bring back Firefly or I will bring back Disco.”

Pure awesome.

Take the Patriots giving the points.
Bears on the moneyline.
-God

What about “Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you.” do you not understand?? Lay off the shrimp!

–GOD

(anon, mind if I riff off one of yours?)

Your brain is bigger than your genitals. Act like it.

–GOD

Mine said:

- GOD

Tried to re-post with some blank space before “-GOD,” but preview lied; it looked the same. Don’t really have anything else to say, so, uh…. yeah….

On a more serious note…
All those messages (usually outside churches) purporting to be from “God’s” perspective strike me as the most blatant form of blasphemy a Christian could commit. How arrogant do you have to be to think that you could make up quotes for your God? And it’s certainly as dishonest as making up quotes for George Washington!

Somebody’s got to make them up.

Olly olly oxen free! – God

Mine said:

I’m merely a figment of your imagination. -God

What I’d really like to see is a billboard campaign that features the Bible’s crazier God quotes – advice on stonings, slave ownership, etc. The billboard companies would, of course, refuse to post them but the payoff would be hearing them try to explain why Bible quotes are inappropriate. And it wouldn’t cost a penny.

[...] find by The Friendly Atheist. This entry was written by Dan Fincke, posted on July 24, 2009 at 11:01 am, filed under God, [...]

“Why didn’t I see that one coming?”

and

“I should have evolved the dinosaurs.”

“What do I say when I sneeze?”