Why Are There No Hurricanes in Florida? God, Says Governor

Posted on August 23, 2009 by Guest Contributor

Florida Governor Charlie Crist knows exactly why there have been no major hurricanes in his home state the past few years:

“Do you know the last time it was we had a hurricane in Florida? It’s been awhile. In 2007, I took my first trade mission. Do you know where I went?” said Crist, a Methodist, referring to a trip to Israel.

He then told of going to the Western Wall and inserting a note with a prayer. He said it read, “Dear God, please protect our Florida from storms and other difficulties. Charlie.”

“Time goes on — May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December — no hurricanes,” Crist said. “Thank God.”

Paul Fidalgo points out that this isn’t exactly true…

… in 2008, Hurricane Gustav caused widespread damage throughout the gulf region of the South. It didn’t hit Florida directly, but four people were killed on Florida beaches due to resulting rip currents. So I suppose that means God was keen on the landmass of Florida, just not so much all the people living in it.

And it’s not as though Florida has seen no storm activity since Saint Charlie took office. In 2007 alone, Tropical or Subtropical Storms Andrea, Barry and Ingrid, plus another unnamed tropical depression, made landfall in Florida. And in 2008, Tropical Storm Fay hit Florida four times — a record — killing six Floridians.

So maybe Crist should double-check his facts. And when the next hurricane hits Florida, we can also remind Crist that no god is paying attention to his personal messages.

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  • JulietEcho

    That’s even sillier than the claims that, since “the US hasn’t had another terror attack since 9/11″ then somehow “George Bush’s [crazy-ass] policies are protecting us!”

    Hmmm… I used to get really bad sinus infections every spring, but the past few years since I became an atheist, I haven’t had any. Belief in God must have been clogging my sinuses!

  • TJ

    I wonder if some reporter will call him on his BS the next time there is a hurricane? Maybe they’ll ask him: So, what, did God decide he doesn’t like Florida anymore?

    I’m not holding my breath on that one.

  • http://www.bolingbrookbabbler.com William Brinkman

    Then why did Hurricane Bill miss Massachusetts? I guess God likes gay marriage.

  • The Other Tom

    If he wants to claim that his prayers have protected the state from hurricanes, perhaps the families of those killed by tropical storms etc should sue him for gross negligence for failing to put it in his prayers to protect the state from tropical storms too.

  • http://theipu.com Ron Gold

    So really, it would be accurate to say Crist’s prayer caused a major hurricane. What would he say if a Katrina level hurricane hit?

  • Richard P

    I wonder…. could the good people of New Orleans sue god for prejudice?

    Or sue Crist for negligence by making god divert the storm to protect Florida and not be considering the ramifications?

    I am sure there has got to be an someone down there that can find a way to sue over this…LOL

  • http://www.trickybuddha.com bobisimo

    The Other Tom, that was a great response.

  • http://logofveritas.blogspot.com Veritas

    @Will Brinkman

    Hey, Canada is more pro-gay than you and we’re getting slammed right now. I suppose He just wanted to save His wrath to beat up on us for once.

  • Delphine

    It seems like the new hurricane will make a landing in Florida soon. Bush better start praying now.

  • mikespeir

    What’s this guy doing as governor? He needs to be praying 24/7.

  • http://princeofpithy.wordpress.com/ Prince of Pithy

    On average, I’d bet more people die in car accidents each year in Florida than are killed by hurricanes, but hurricanes cause more monetary damage. So I guess the governor’s prayer was more about saving money than saving lives.

  • http://www.secularplanet.org Secular Planet

    Let me translate his message. “Dear God, I would really like some south Florida Jews to vote for me. Thank you!”

  • zoo

    Tropical Storm Fay hit Florida four times — a record — killing six Floridians

    Fortunately comparatively low death toll, but it rained almost continuously for (if I recall) about two weeks, so there was massive and expensive flooding of homes — many times whole neighborhoods, and many of those — and other places as well.

    And what’s this about other difficulties? We could spend days and days listing those. . . .

  • Skippy

    Oh… I see what the problem is. It’s like with birthday cake wishes, if you say it out loud, it won’t come true. He must’ve just jinxed himself. Too bad, Chuckie.

  • Richard Wade

    That’s even sillier than the claims that, since “the US hasn’t had another terror attack since 9/11? then somehow “George Bush’s [crazy-ass] policies are protecting us!”

    I wouldn’t put it past George the Usurper to have sent a CIA agent disguised as a Rabbi to stick a note into the Wall saying,

    “Dear God, please protect the United States from the evils of Al Quieda, and please protect my Administration from the evils of the Constitution.”

  • Richard Wade

    When you ask God to change the direction of the wind to favor your sailing, you’re asking him to make that same wind make things difficult for whoever is sailing in the other direction.

    Governor Crist’s request to the Almighty was incomplete:

    “Dear God, please protect our Florida from storms and other difficulties. Charlie.”

    The unwritten part would need to have said:

    “Instead, send all those storms past Florida and let them slam into Alabama, Mississippi Louisiana, Texas or Mexico. I mean, who gives a damn about them? Right? Charlie.”

  • http://www.examiner.com/x-8922-Portland-Skepticism-Examiner Charlie

    Seriously: someone needs to keep a database of all the natural disasters that hit states with Christian governors. I am so sick of this extremely selective “bad-weather-is-god’s-judgment” garbage!

    Let’s not forget that the year Katrina hit, no fewer than FOUR major hurricanes hit Florida when they had an iconic Christian governor, JEB Bush.

    Katrina and Rita did more damage in Mississippi, a.k.a. Righteous Christian Anger Central, than they did in New Orleans, where the French Quarter was largely untouched.

  • Stephen P

    And lets not forget the tornados in Tennessee when Huckabee won there.

  • Jen V

    Well, doncha know that the tornado that touched down in Minneapolis and damaged a Lutheran church was god’s way of gently showing us that acceptance of gay people is against his Plan. Urgh.

  • Ollie

    *hangs head in shame*
    Trade mission? So this jagoff spent public money on that?

  • http://robomeeks.com Meekerson

    It’s so easy to find information if you just try.

    Hurricane Bill blamed in swimmer’s death in Fla.