Learning About Atheist Parasites

You may have seen the video of Rabbi Daniel Lapin of the American Alliance of Jews & Christians on Glenn Beck last week, explaining how atheists were “parasites”:

“I do believe that atheists are parasites in the sense that they are benefiting from everything that religious culture has built in America, but they’re doing nothing to add energy into the system.”

Well, that prompted one enterprising blogger to create “A Field Guide to Atheist Parasites“:

The purpose of this blog is to identify several examples of these nasty little atheos parasitus organisms, to demonstrate what a terrible blight they are on our culture, and to warn believers like Rabbi Lapin and Mr. Beck to stay away from them and all of their disgusting ways.

I’m enjoying the postings so far 🙂

The Marlene Dietrich parasite first came to the United States from Germany in 1939, and began to spread instantly, first through film, and then though popular music, all the way into the 1960s.

During World War II, this parasite was especially prolific, visiting American troops in Algeria, Italy, England, France, and Germany.

I feel like there’s a vaccine joke just waiting to be made here…

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  • Bill

    I feel like there is a ‘Rabbi Lapin’ myxomatosis joke just waiting to be made here…

  • Aguz

    I saw this in The Young Turks and I went like: “What is this, I don’t even”

  • Charles

    You may have seen the video of Rabbi Daniel Lapin of the American Alliance of Jews & Christians on Glenn Beck last week

    You imply that any self-respecting freethinker would be caught dead watching Glenn Beck…

  • billybobbibb

    I see this rabbi as using similar techniques that Sam Harris uses to criticize religion. In-your-face, there is nothing good about my adversary. This is the kind of talk that does not promote understanding or tolerance, but feels good to those who agree with him. We atheists have characterized religion as a virus, a disease, a mental illness and a pox on society. Is religion really completely evil? Seriously?

    The rabbi is correct in stating that religion has contributed to your culture and society. Besides preaching hatred and delusion, religion also had a regulating force on ethics in a time when most people were illiterate. Despite the hypocrisies of the church itself, we still consider crimes like murder, theft and perjury to be wrong.

    What this shows me is that we are finally getting to them (the religious) and they are recoiling in fear. The rabbi is a savvy marketer (citing the auto commercials) and he is fully aware that his hatchet job on atheists will likely persuade at least some of the faithful to remain that way.

    In response to the rabbi, I would point out that the real parasites today are the churches and clergy, who sell false hopes, operate tax-exempt businesses, prey on the weak and gullible, spread fear in our children, and pride themselves in obeying a so-called “higher law” than what is standard for the rest of society. For the small about of good that churches do as community service, they require much higher overhead than secular organizations, and they require you to swallow a lot more bullshit in the process.

  • Matt

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:American_atheists

    Of courses, that list doesn’t include anyone with whom the matter of their atheism is lacking in historical evidence or was outright hidden to protect their reputation.

  • I can’t wait until the author documents the Bill Maher parasite, which in addition to producing laughter or outrage in its victims, depending on their outlook, is also totally resistant to any known modern vaccine.

  • Supine Monkey

    I would say more accurately that atheists are like leukocytes, the white blood cells. We target and bind to bullshit pathogenic arguments with actual data in order to disseminate and dissolve them into smaller, less harmful substances that can be safely excreted from public discourse.

  • ethinethin

    @billybobbibb

    “Despite the hypocrisies of the church itself, we still consider crimes like murder, theft and perjury to be wrong.”

    Are you seriously implying that without religion, society would consider those destructive acts to be acceptable? That would be an absurd implication (and I think I’ve heard people like Ken Ham say the same thing).

  • Rob

    I know you are, but what am I? Parasite indeed. The Crusades were a great contribution, and the Spanish Inquisition, Salem witch trials. Lets ask the Aztec’s if they appreciate Catholic contributions. Oh wait, there aren’t any left. My bad. Ever heard of The Dark Ages? I suppose that was caused by a conspiratorial group of atheists bent on keeping the faithful down. Hitch says it best when he asks ‘How does it feel to lie to and terrify children as your chosen profession?’ STFU, asshole.

  • JD

    The rise in these claims come in spite of evidence to the contrary. I think this means they’re afraid and they don’t think they can afford to ignore the threat, to the point of scapegoating.

    This rabbi seems to ignore the fact that most antisemitism came from religious aspects of society. For centuries Christianity viewed Jews as Christ-killers and fomented the seeds of hate to the point that it bore fruit in the form of The Final Solution. In the 30’s and early 40’s, most Americans thought Jews deserved the persecution they got from the Germans. A lot of Islamic adherents views Judiasm as a corruption, some of them willing to kill to purify the world of Judiasm.

  • Tony

    Perhaps somebody should remind our friendly Rabbi here that there was another group of people famously described as “parasites” in living memory and it didn’t end well.

  • Hypatia’s Daughter

    billybobbibb, your post gave me whiplash. First you seem to condemn atheists for being just as bad for also using “extremism” as a polarizing tactic….then proceed to pile on even more extreme criticisms of religion.
    Is this some ascetic sect of atheism that I am not aware of that indulges in self-flagellation? Where one has to punish oneself by saying good things about religion before one is permitted to say anything bad about it?

  • The best “advert” for atheism is simply to show society that atheists can be happy (smiling) well-adjusted contributing members. This blows the negative (unfair) stereotype of atheists as bitter reclusive individuals holed up in their basement typing away. One doesn’t need a God belief in order to do all the things normally associated with “being good”. This is what really scares believers…. that atheists can be normal, well adjusted good people too.

    The parasite argument doesn’t hold. Everybody is a parasite to some extinct in a well-functioning society with a debt to those that came before who helped build the society. I recognize a large debt to the founding fathers who crafted the US government with a separation of powers (including the separation of church and state).

  • muggle

    Anyone else catch that grin on Beck’s face when the idiot Jew let himself be used and exploited himself to ingratiate himself to the Christian theocracist? It’s almost as if he was laughing at the rabbi’s stupidity and from Beck that’s saying something.

    Just confirms this paranoia I have that the Jews who are stupid enough to jump on the horrid Judeo-Christian bullshit wagon are going to find themselves far easier to identify than the nonbelievers when they succeed in aiding the Christian Reich’s take-over? I mean did the moron really just say some of the nicest corners of America are the ones where everyone goes to church on Sunday (overgeneralizing much?) without so much as a nod to the corners of America where almost everyone in the neighborhood goes to the local synagogue on Saturday?

    My god! The heck with Atheists. How the fuck can he not recognize what he’s doing to his own people? This guy is going to make a lovely capo in a concentration camp some fine day.

  • Hum. Still no evidence that god exists then.

  • Sarah

    Can’t you use the exact same argument by replacing “religion” with “science” and “atheists” with “fundamentalists”?

  • Dan W

    Along with Marlene Dietrich, that website also mentions Mark Twain and Alan Turing. When I saw a version of this video on The Young Turks, my thoughts were ‘…the fuck?’ I can think of many atheists besides the ones currently on the linked website who have provided a lot for our culture.

  • “I do believe that atheists are parasites in the sense that they are benefiting from everything that religious culture has built in America, but they’re doing nothing to add energy into the system.”

    Shall we make a list of what the “religious culture” of America has built in the last 100 years? No offence but I’d rather not “benefit” from jihadists blowing themselves up or flying planes into buildings. I’d rather not “benefit” from speaking in tongues, “cures” for illnesses through prayer, terrors inflicted on children or child rapist hidden from secular authorities.

    I’d rather not “add energy” into a system that tells the weak and desperate to trust in a god who isn’t there rather than seek help from secular sources or even help themselves.

    I’d rather not get involved at all with a system that calls us parasites or Nazis and wishes to deny us the label of citizen (as George Bush Snr did). I’d rather not have anything to do with a system that makes women second to men and denies equal rights for gay people. I’d rather avoid entirely a system that demands respect but offers nothing in return, not even a glimmer of evidence that their assertions have any grain of truth in them.

  • Rabbi Lapin appears to have no clue how low a scoundrel he is. His shallowness is profound indeed.

  • fritzy

    Billybob;

    The difference between Sam Harris and Rabbi Lapin is that Harris, et al refer to religion as a virus. They don’t attack believers, just thier stupid beliefs (and goddamn I am sick of pointing out to believers and non-believers alike that dumb ideas are dumb, no matter how “sacred” someone or some group of people consider those dumb ideas.)

    The Rabbi has, however, made it personal. He’s gone one step further to label a group of people. And he’s given them a rather dispicable label.

    Your analogy is a pretty poor one. And while admittedly religion has made some admirable contributions to culture and society, your claim that we aren’t going around dicing each other up with machettes is most likely in spite of religion, rather than because of it.

  • keystothekid

    “I do believe that atheists are parasites in the sense that they are benefiting from everything that religious culture has built in America . . .” Uhhhhhmmmm I’d argue that religious nuts are benefiting much more from the scientific method and science than Atheists are from “religious culture.”

  • “I do believe that atheists are parasites in the sense that they are benefiting from everything that religious culture has built in America, but they’re doing nothing to add energy into the system.”

    None of this really has anything to do with whether gods exist, though. If not, then those religions are all just human attempts to make sense of the world, just like what atheists are doing today.

    Some of those human attempts to make sense of the world came up with some good ideas, sure, but there’s no reason that secular philosophy can’t do the same. In fact, secular philosophy is likely to do better on the whole because we can base our ethics on the effects of our actions on other people, and not have to take into account the often anti-human whims of some supernatural being or another.

  • I hear that there’s
    a Houngan in Haiti,
    a Wiccan in Wisconsin,
    a Priest in Peru,
    a Buddhist in Bucharest,
    a Brahmin in Bangalore,
    a Pastor in Pasadena,
    and a Vicar from Virginia
    who think that atheists are alright.

    Why should we care what a Rabbi from in Johannesburg says? He doesn’t even rhyme. He should have been a juju man instead.

  • Silent Service

    Religion has never provided anything to our culture. People who where religious may have done so, but religion itself has been an impediment to progress with all the wonders of the burning of the Library of Alexandria, the Crusades, the Dark Ages, the Inquisition, the Witch Burnings, the Holocaust, and our latest religious insanity that I call Global Fundamentalist Islamic Jihad. And those are just the highlights. We can also include less well known modern phenomenon such as driving out witch children in Africa (witches are so popular with religion), imprisoning and killing gays in Africa (and any place else religious people can get away with it), attempts at genocide in the former Yugoslavian republics against Muslims, and it goes on and on and on and on….

    Just remember, we didn’t start the fire but there’s a good chance that one of us will wind up tied to a stake at the center of it in the name of religious culture and progress.

  • Dole

    Pretty please tell me you’ve checked out the very most recent post. It’s actually a great picture of you.

  • Gauldar

    To all those ultra religious on the internet:

    Science says “You’re Welcome”.

  • Alexius

    As an atheist aspiring to be a parasitologist, I must say that I’m flattered!

  • s0m3d00d

    That isn’t parasitism; that would be commensalism.

  • Vil Ignoble

    Yoosdef, are so very close to the factual information. A parasite is the original hacker and has gotten itself into the build of the human and other animals, or in the dna it has set itself to be built in the womb and infused into the host and can appear like simple brain tissue. It is more a leader of the bacteria world and is chemical, plauges and such. It uses the human communications to spread its instructions to the parasites in other people and also uses the same books, to tell the human it’s so called place. You’ll find many illogical statements in religions and it is wrapped around instructions of care or disorder of the host for the parasite to do. Or hybridization. It puts its same instructions in childrens cartoons for the ones who are new and anywhere that is communicable, but it’s system of worship is for its own faster regeneration and can peruse humans to further its goals. Both being the voices of evil and good more known as schizophrenia, but it hides and indirect communication is chemical and direct is literally auditory hallucinations. If it can’t get other hosts to cause trauma for the younger people it will do it itself within the mind. It tries to take the place as the natural instincts of all beings to be the only ones with foresight into the future and distracts the human from using it’s own instincts and they never run from earthquakes or tsunamis as animals do. It has pulled the life of its’ host into itself and removing it will cause the death of the host, but those that are used in its show are more a carrier and it gives up its life to further its whole aims. For the human who are eaiser hacked, sexual disorders to breed in the traits where the parasite is stronger and host weaker. But now it is almost time for the reverse, and “the voices”, will be the television, radio, and the computer extension of the brain, they are already making it past the inflammatory responses and immune system but their attacks must be used wisely lest the hosts immune system attack them. These are the divisions it uses to incite them against one another of their beliefs and world views and typic mispelling as pure accidental. Though it may seem smart, it has no physical survival and blind men read the bumps on the log, its knowledge is a consistent furthering of what the human that is used as its instrument to see the world around it is the one now growing weaker of that the parasite, lord of the flies and creator of plauges, mostly an exaggeration to appear larger, object may appear closer than they are behind you. The balance system is almost fulfilled now, hence the parasite will be the “power” of the future, one with a negative terminal and one with a positive terminal and it will charge the houses and generate electricity; but what of its future, 11 one on the high end and one on the low end, it must live in its own delusion online and will be removed one day, and stuffed into the commodity boxes for resale, and 10 will be forbidden access to the human brain system, what of the words to be a more structered solidification of atomic and smaller worlds as they harden, and even down to yatto, where the buffalo roams and the seminole blows, they will all join in…