Tagline: Abstinence Never Felt SO Good

Christians have found a way to ruin The 40-Year-Old Virgin… with a movie called The Waiting Game.

Instead of the main character ruining all his opportunities to have sex growing up, like Steve Carell‘s character did, this one has chosen to wait until he’s married.

And his love interest in played by Kirk Cameron‘s sister (a.k.a. D.J. Tanner from “Full House”)… Runs in the family, I guess.

As a couple commenters on YouTube point out, the trailer makes it seem like the guy is getting married for the sole purpose of getting laid. Great moral lesson, right? If that’s really the case, good for her for leaving him at the altar.

(I also love the comment: “I will abstain from this movie!”)

I’ll admit laughing at the Ted Haggard cameo, though…

The movie hasn’t been completed yet; the producers still need to raise some money:

[Rich] Praytor and his movie partner Emilio Martinez have drafted several versions of the script and put together a trailer posted on YouTube, The Gazette reported.

The pair is trying to raise $2 million toward the movie, according to the Colorado-based paper. If the funds are raised, they would start shooting on Sept. 1.

If they really intend for this to be a movie with the moral lesson that everyone should wait until they’re married to have sex, then I predict it’ll be unintentionally hilarious and atheists will have viewing parties just to mock it.

Here’s a moral lesson this film would never have, though, because Christians would never accept it:

You don’t have to wait until you’re married to have sex. But you should wait until you’re ready to handle the emotions and consequences that may come with it. There are some teenagers who are able to do that and some adults who aren’t. If you’re not sure you’re ready for it, waiting’s not a bad idea.

***Update***: Todd Wallinger at the Colorado Springs Gazette broke this story and has more about the filmmakers in his article.

(via Unreasonable Faith)

  • Steve

    the trailer makes it seem like the guy is getting married for the sole purpose of getting laid

    Well, that is indeed one of the reasons for the young marriage age in some Christian sects. There are people who get married quickly so that they can have sex

  • http://www.theaunicornist.com Mike D

    Getting laid is exactly why lots of Christians get married so young, and it’s also probably why evangelicals have a higher divorce rate than atheists.

  • Demonhype

    Ugh. I don’t know if I can watch this. I had a major hate-on for Candace Cameron when I was a young girl, and I don’t know if I want to rekindle that (not that I ever stopped hating her, mind you, I just let it slide into my mental hate-archive to give priority to more current outrages).

    Anyway, I guess I was correct when I called her a talentless #$@!%, if her career is going in the same direction her brother’s took.

  • Brice Gilbert

    I imagine the moral of the story will be that he was wrong to think marriage was just for sex. That’s the old him. The new him realizes marriage is for the glory of God or some such garbage.

  • phira

    In the 40-Year-Old Virgin, he DOES wait until he’s married!

  • Sean

    Terrible. Just terrible.

  • Justin Miyundees

    “The Waiting Game” sounds like the next great euphemism for oral!!

    “No mean no Harold!”

    “Can we still play The Waiting Game?”

    “Oh yabetcha!!”

  • Jake

    Is that Candace Cameron? It doesn’t look like her.

  • Anonymous

    Early marriage for the purpose of sex can also be found in Orthodox (and up) Judaism, Amish, Mormon, Islam, etc… How does it feel to sound like a Muslim, Christian fundies?!

  • Tim

    Those YouTube commenters are most likely correct…

    1 Corinthians 7:1-2
    … It is good for a man not to marry. But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.
    (NIV)

  • Anonymous
  • Claudia

    It will do what all Christian films do, which is put the moral message ahead of every other consideration, and hence become utterly lame.

    Since it’s a Christian film it won’t be able to use strong language or make direct references to actual sexual acts, so that it will be left with humor accesible to 12-13 year old boys and girls. Not entirely a bad idea, since this would be the ideal target group for an abstinence film (since abstinence only “education” and purity pledges only put off sex for a short period, so the vast majority of adults watching will not be virgins).

    Put it this way: How many of the educational movies you saw in school (about drunk driving, about sex, about bullying) were good art? My guess is none, because the “message” came before all other considerations, and it had to be within the severe constraints of the “appropriate” for a film to be viewed in school by young teens.

    Christian films will be bad as long as Christians don’t allow artists to be artists first, even if it means their art will step outside what they view as acceptable for Christian art.

  • http://criticallyskeptic-dckitty.blogspot.com Kev Quondam, Kevque Futurum

    Wow, that’s some of the worst production value I’ve seen in a movie in a LONG time.

    But seriously, dude should just have sex. If he’s trying to get married just cause he wants to have sex, go have sex and then you’ll be in a better place when you realize your purpose for marrying someone isn’t to have sex with them – eesh.

    What’s so scary about sex, anyway? It’s a natural, healthy thing. Yes, don’t have sex if you’re not ready for it and don’t cheat on someone while having sex and don’t hurt anyone while having sex and it’s fine.

  • Joe_No_Halo

    I predict it’ll be unintentionally hilarious and atheists will have viewing parties just to mock it.

    Mystery Science Theater 3000!

  • WetMogwai

    $2 million? What are they going to spend it on? Hookers and blow?

    Seriously, the production quality of that is so low, except for paying for actors who are way above this level, a feature film like this should cost under $5000. I’m pretty sure I could make it look better that this for that kind of money. I assume they’re going to use most of that money for promotion. Maybe if they spent a few tens of thousands and hired a decent crew, they could reshoot it and have it look like they care about making a movie that people would want to watch.

  • ErinM

    “his movie partner” = Awkward phrasing to ensure we know they mean “not any other kind of partner you might be imagining especially the GAY kind ’cause we’re totally Christian and that’s nasty, srsly…”

  • http://criticallyskeptic-dckitty.blogspot.com Kev Quondam, Kevque Futurum

    @WetMogwai:

    Careful, that kind of reasoning brought us what is hands-down considered the worst movie of all time – Manos: The Hands of Fate.

  • Dan

    A dozen songs in that trailer which are copyright protected.

    I don’t know if they need the $2m to pay for those songs, or if they’ve already broken the law by using what they did in the trailer and posting it on YouTube.

  • http://www.mandikaye.com Mandi

    That is most definitely not Candace Cameron.

  • http://www.mongenel.com Duo

    “Abstinence never felt so good!”

    They’re right. It never did.

    I prefer the comfort of a warm body to that of a zombie carpenter.

  • http://twitter.com/TominousTone Tom is Money

    Wow, was that shot on an iPhone?

  • Sal

    Love the Ted Haggard cameo, but I never saw Candace Cameron.

  • http://www.casimirfornalski.com Casimir

    Is “Christian Sex Comedy” going to become a new oxymoronic genre just ripe for a public flogging (like “Christian Rock?”)

    Oh, I do hope so.

  • Steve

    Christian Gangster Rap > Christian Rock

    It’s a genre you can select in WinAmp

  • Emilio Martinez

    Hey, all

    I’m a co-producer of this film. I’m also the guy who said the line “That’s the problem, Jack…you can’t save yourself.” Thanks for all the comments–my favorite is the presumptuous one about clarifying that Rich being is my “movie” partner because I’m afraid of gays. Classic!

  • Apteryx

    ErinM: What do you mean scared of gays? They had Tedd Haggard!

    Emilio Martinez: “Moviepartner” just sounds weird, thats all. Either way, you can’t pretend christianity is a gay friendly religion.

  • Rabid

    At least Manos: The Hands of Fate is worth a laugh.
    This just makes my brain itch.

  • Carlie

    Interesting – the preview says that it’s been approved for “appropriate audiences”, rather than for all audiences, yet they have no warnings on their website about about age or topic appropriateness before you view the video. Hm. Aren’t they the ones always yelling “Won’t somebody think of the children?”

  • Todd Wallinger

    I’m the reporter who originally broke the story for the Colorado Springs Gazette. Elena Garcia of http://www.christianpost.com basically reworded my article and stole my quotes.

    If you’d like to read the original article and learn more about the filmmakers, please go to:

    http://www.coloradosprings.com/articles/sex-10788-trailer-appear.html.

  • Clint

    Two words: drinking game.

    Two more words: riff track.

  • Yeah Right

    Abstinence never felt so good? Bullshit. As a 38-year-old male virgin who has spent much of my life dealing with depression and social anxiety, and therefore fell thorough the cracks of the dating scene, I find it very depressing and frustrating that I’ve never experienced sexual intimacy. There’s a deep sadness within me knowing that I’ve never experienced what most people take for granted they’ll get.

    Maybe someone should make a movie about the negative effects of being celibate – depression, sadness, loneliness, mental and physical frustration, low self-esteem, feelings of not being fully human.

  • Adam Morva

    I almost choked on my pizza at the Ted Haggard cameo.

    Anyways, since American tax dollars are already funding churches, numerous religious ceremonies, agendas, creationism parks, etc. – why not fund this film too by tax dollars?

    GOOOO AMERICA!

  • xanadux

    I’m a 21 year old, attractive, single, educated, socially intelligent (future financially independent) woman who is an abstinent agnostic. I don’t need to be abstinent, but I chose to be. I told myself this at age 10 and again recently when I just turned 21.I’m abstinent in the strictest sense of the word lol, never even had a kiss. lol. It’s by no means easy, I’
    m only human after all and the furthest thing from a prude lol, but it makes me feel that much better to know that I’m a rarity. Also, I don’t like the term ‘slut’. I may be abstinent, but I don’t judge others who aren’t. Everyone is entitled to their choices. Who am I to judge how someone should live their life? THe only person I’m in control of is myself. We are out there (or at least I am, lol).


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