[*** There may be spoilers below***]
As you all know, Survivor is still the best show on television. (Don’t judge me.)
But this season has been especially annoying because three of the remaining six contestants are openly (and loudly and boastfully and frustratingly) Christian. Every time something goes right, they’re quick to thank Jesus. Every time something goes wrong, they just say it’s part of God’s will.
Anyway, now that one of the core alliances has made it near the end, they have to start voting each other off of the show since no one else is left.
In case you’re not obsessed with the show like me, here’s what you need to know to make sense of this post: SuperChristian Brandon wants to vote off Sophie and thinks he can trust SuperChristian Coach with his plan. Coach isn’t worried about Sophie and is actually thinking about voting off Brandon.
That dilemma led to this *hilarious* conversation in the most recent episode:
Coach: Who are you guys writing down [to vote off]?
Brandon: Sophie. I just–I honestly believe that this is what God wants us to do.
Coach: [With panic in his voice] No, no, remember now, this is what God wants you to do–Brandon: –Well, I’ll tell you what–
Coach: — but what I need to do right now is I need to pray. And I promise you this: I will do whatever God tells me to do.
Brandon: [Blank stare. Pause.] I understand you gotta do what God wants you to do, but I know he doesn’t want you to write my name down.
Coach: Alright. I’m gonna pray.
Coach voted out Brandon later that night
Brandon’s not technically out of the game yet (long story), but damn, would it be sweet to see him lose for good… if for no other reason than to remove the most annoying character from the show.
Season finale’s tonight. If Brandon finds a way to win the game, you’re in for a couple early morning talk shows’ worth of preaching. Hope it doesn’t happen.
***Edit***: Can’t believe I forgot to mention this… Go Cochran! Hope he gets the Fan Favorite award/cash.