Purity Bear Tells You to Stay Abstinent Before Marriage… AGAIN!

The Purity Bear is back. And this commercial is even worse than the first.

First of all… no. Just no. That bear is weird and creepy and doesn’t make me take the message seriously.

Also, “I feel like we really got to know each other” sounds like something you say on a first or second date. If that’s true, you DO NOT follow that up with “I love you.” RED FLAG! You don’t need a freaky bear to tell you to stay away from anyone who does that. (Then again, if your first thought when someone makes a move on you is, “I wonder what Purity Bear would say…” maybe we need to stay away from you, too.)

(via Liberty Counsel)

About Hemant Mehta

Hemant Mehta is the chair of Foundation Beyond Belief and a high school math teacher in the suburbs of Chicago. He began writing the Friendly Atheist blog in 2006. His latest book is called The Young Atheist's Survival Guide.

  • http://a-million-gods.blogspot.com/ Avicenna

    http://www.youtube.com/show?p=GozqPXQtafk&tracker=show_av

    Misery Bear does not like this Purity Bear malarky…

    Great googly moogly, that bear is creepy.

  • Seladora

    “Virgins who wait for marriage have a higher success rate.”

    What does that even mean? Higher success rate at keeping their marriage together? Higher success rate for pregnancy? Higher success when collecting of creepy ass pedobears? 

    • Gus Snarp

      Gotta love statistics quoted with no source reference. I especially like the “more likely to suffer depression” one. Assuming there’s any truth to that statistic, could the problem possibly be with the sample? How many men never have sex before they’re married? Those virgins couldn’t possibly also fail to ever be diagnosed with depression because they take all their problems to church instead, could they? And the language is wrong. It says “outside of marriage”, so does it include infidelity?

      If there’s one thing that burns my britches, it’s the misuse of statistics.

    • http://twitter.com/enuma enuma

      I do wonder how they define “success”.  To me, an unhappy marriage that ends in an amicable divorce was more successful than an unhappy marriages that continues to be unhappy until someone in it dies.

  • Georgina

    How dare they steal the most romantic day of the year for their stupid ‘purity’ rubbish.
    Purity isn’t ‘no sex’, purity is ‘consenting adults’ and ‘doing no harm’.

    The only advantage I can see about virgin marriage, is that she might believe him when he tells her that 3 minutes is all anyone takes. 

    • http://www.zazzle.com/godless_monsters The Godless Monster

       

      The only advantage I can see about virgin marriage, is that she might
      believe him when he tells her that 3 minutes is all anyone takes.

      Or that 3 inches is actually 9…

      • Anon

        Or that it’s her own fault if she didn’t come.

  • Oz Tilson

    She can’t even kiss him?
     

  • http://wordsideasandthings.blogspot.com/ Garren

    This ‘purity’ concept is much more heavily aimed at young women than young men, which leads me to believe it’s just the modern version of viewing women as property in mint, fair, or poor condition.

    Second virginity nonsense would of course be: refurbished.

    • Anonymous

       True, but it does have negative effects on men too:

      http://nolongerquivering.com/2012/02/14/how-the-modesty-doctrine-hurts-men-too/

    • http://twitter.com/enuma enuma

      Part of the reason sexual purity laws have always applied more strictly to women than men has to do with property and inheritance, which was patrilineal in most cultures.  Maternity is self-evident, but paternity is not.  Going on Maury for a free paternity test wasn’t an option, so a man had to rely on sexual isolation of his women to make sure his heirs were really his heirs.  Wrapping those rules in a blanket of “God said so” helped with enforcement.

      And you’re right; the concept of purity does reduce women to mere property.  The less tainted the vessel for your future progeny is, the more value it has.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Madalyn-Gregory/100001240493209 Madalyn Gregory

    I actually don’t have as big of a problem with this commercial as the last one. The guy definitely came off as trying to get in her pants and if that isn’t what she was looking for backing off is good advice. 

    However, she seems to want more so perhaps she shouldn’t be with him at all but that is hard to tell in the context given. The bear came off less creepy this time around. 

    The statistics at the end were useless without context and the abstinence until marriage thing is a whole other issue. 

    Overall, less creepy but still absurd. 

  • Jett Perrobone

    Purity Bear still is creepy, given that she compares the girl to pizza!

    For anyone who hasn’t seen it yet, here’s my parody of the original Purity Bear video.

  • cipher

    If you know anyone who doesn’t think fundies are operating at the cognitive and developmental level of children, show them Purity Bear.

  • http://www.zazzle.com/godless_monsters The Godless Monster

    So, all that sex I was having before marriage was depressing me and I didn’t even know it. This explains everything…

  • http://www.facebook.com/kimikoneko Katie Bojorquez

    I guess I’m the 1 out of 3 women who didn’t regret anything before marriage. I know lots of women who didn’t regret their first time, and once you have an adult relationship, sex is important. Wouldn’t want to marry someone who was mainly fueled by the drive to want to sleep with you. 

    • http://twitter.com/0xabad1dea Melissa

       People only “regret” things that happened before marriage precisely BECAUSE it is drilled into us so hard that we “should” be absolutely virginal.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Elizabeth-Masters-Hiatt/1089954620 Elizabeth Masters Hiatt

      The only thing I regret is not having MORE sex in my youth. Take that Christians. 

    • beijingrrl

      I have to say that the majority of women I know didn’t really enjoy their first experience of intercourse and feel like they should have waited.  Not me!  I’m a 33%er, too.  I had also just turned 18 and know a lot of women who were 14-16.  These women don’t regret not waiting until they were married.  They just wish they had been a bit older.

      • http://twitter.com/Noadi Sheryl

        I didn’t particularly enjoy my first time, neither of us was very good at what we were doing. That’s what practice is for, and waiting just delays the practicing.

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Elizabeth-Masters-Hiatt/1089954620 Elizabeth Masters Hiatt

          My first time sucked. My first few times sucked. I don’t wish that I had waited though. 

          • amyc

            My first time was pretty awesome, but I was 18 and out of high school. I had also done other stuff in high school, so that’s probably why it didn’t hurt and actually felt good my first time. I have a friend who just recently had sex the first time with her boyfriend. Up until now I always thought she was asexual, because that’s kind of how she described herself. She said it hurt a lot, but they also never did any type of foreplay and she has never had any sexual experience before then.

      • Anonymous

         Having your sucky first time later doesn’t make it any better

    • Anonymous

      Also, that “regret” may be simply people feeling sad because they have to deal with shaming them for having sex. Even if 2 out of 3 women do regret it, there’s confounding variables. I think the “why” is a very important thing to take into account here.

    • http://twitter.com/Noadi Sheryl

      I haven’t regretted anything yet. Oh I’ve regretted one or two of the people  (and making mistakes is what being young is all about) but never the choice to have sex. In fact I’m getting ready to live with someone I have sex with and have no plans to marry in the foreseeable future.

  • Anonymous

    I did a bit of research on this just now, and it turns out that their second point at the end is completely bogus. According to a study done in 2008 and published in the Journal of Youth and Adolescence (I admittedly know nothing about this journal or those who did the study), adolescent boys who have premarital sex are no more likely to be  depressed than those who do not.

    http://www.springerlink.com/content/781t64k88827q673/

    This seems to be just another case of fundies making stuff up to fit their own agenda.

    Also, what the hell does “Virgins who wait … have a higher success rate” mean? And why did they add all the other words in there when a rhyme is much more likely to stick in someone’s mind?

  • Wintermute

    Do you think there’s any chance they actually paid for the use of the Supremes’ music? Maybe a DMCA takedown is warranted here. Anyone have any idea how you’d pursue that?

    • Alex

      No. Just no. DMCA is evil. Using it as a weapon against fundies still legitimizes that miscarriage of legislation. You can notify the copyright owner, and if there is a problem, let them deal with it appropriately.

    • http://twitter.com/Noadi Sheryl

      Copyright holders are the only ones who can send DMCA takedown notices. You would need to tip off whichever recording company has the rights to the Supremes’ music.

  • Bryan

    Could anyone else figure out why the purity bear was a sassy black woman?

    • http://www.etsy.com/shop/skeletaldropkick Skeletal Dropkick

      well, duh. It was  BLACK bear.

  • Anonymous

    When I think of bears and sex…I think of Pedobear.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pedobear

    Maybe they should have picked a purity duck or a purity dog? 

  • http://profiles.google.com/brotheratombombofmoderation Steve Caldwell

    It’s worth contrasting the “purity bear” approach  promoting virginity until marriage with Unitarian Universalist minister Rev. Debra Haffner’s approach:

    In fact, I believe that sexual compatibility is so important in a marriage that I won’t perform a wedding for a couple that has only engaged in the least intimate sexual behaviors. In my time as ordained clergy, I have never performed a wedding for a couple who isn’t already cohabitating.

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rev-debra-haffner/non-virgins-need-not-appl_b_612326.html

    Prior to seminary and ordination as a minister, Debra’s professional background was public health and sexuality education.

  • Crissy

    My vagina is a pizza? lol
    Sweetheart, your sex isn’t a limited use consumable, in fact it levels up with you! ^_~

  • http://www.decrepitoldfool.com/ george.w

    It’s the use of the word “purity” itself that bothers me. It implies that women who have sex are somehow “impure” – a contamination in the moral body public. Just a might patriarchal/judgmental, no? 

  • Liz Heywood

    Guy in car: Drat! My cardigan failed to seduce her! Perhaps…a sweater-vest…

  • bengie

    I keep my pizza boxes in large piles throughout my house.

    • amyc

      just like your boy/girl friends?

  • LifeinTraffic

    Okay, the whole idea of promising sex to a stuffed toy is just indescribably creepy to me. Making a promise to or “on” a stuffed animal is something a child would do, and to have teens and/or adults doing it smacks not only of a pedophelic mindset, but also something else really creepy that we’ve noticed living near Liberty University:

    You are not a citizen, you are not an adult, you are not mature, you are nothing…until the day you are married and have sex. You become an entirely different class of citizen, you are instantly respectable, you instantly have authority over your peers, you instantly have special privileges the unmarried to not have (lots of them, actually), you instantly become someone you were not only moments before. All because a penis found a vagina (seriously, you can almost hear the bells ringing and a hallelujah choir in the background when they talk bout this, and they’ll say flat out that they are “better,” and “more mature” than their unmarried, celibate peers).  It’s so bad that there’s actually something that those who don’t attend Liberty call “ring before spring,” which is the insane push to get engaged before March so you can get married in the same summer. The belief being that if you “wait too long” you might slip up and make the “mistake” of having sex! Better to be married, even if you don’t particularly like the person, to stave off the temptation of sin, and to acquire the status and privilege you cannot otherwise attain.

    If you haven’t witnessed it first-hand, it’s really tough to understand; but, for people so focused on purity, they place an awful lot of their importance on sex. Obviously, it’s a way to 1) control people and 2)encourage marriage. Watching married people here is what I imagine watching royalty in the Middle Ages must’ve looked like: smug, superior-feeling people condescending to give a nod, or perhaps some sage advice, to those beneath them that have no achieved this exalted state.  They day after their wedding,  suddenly they’re they advice givers about all matters sexual and reproductive to their friends. Those who aren’t married (and therefore who have not, in theory, had sex yet) are still viewed as children, as immature, as not ready to accept the responsibilities of adults. And hence, the stuffed animal is–in their minds–entirely appropriate.

    Of course, in my mind it’s just squicky.

    • amyc

      I know what you mean. While I was deconverting I still worked at a church nursery. Aside from a few high school volunteers, I was the youngest worker there. The other women were all married or used to be married (most of them had children). If they made a veiled comment about sex they would look at me and say something like “You’re too young to know that” even when they were only one or two years older than I. To make matters worse, I was not a virgin. One or two of the other women I worked with knew this because we were friends, but my boss didn’t know and the parents of the children didn’t know. In fact one Sunday I got sick in the restroom and when I went to talk to my boss about it the children’s pastor was there and he jokingly said,”Maybe you’re pregnant.” My boss laughed and said, “oh you know that’s not possible.” That ironic thing was that I had been late that month…turned out to be the flu though. They act like being married (and by extension experiencing sex) was the most mature and awesome thing anyone could do, but on the other hand, if they knew I was having sex (or that I’m bisexual) I would have been chased out of there.

  • Gus Snarp

    The real red flag is the “Don’t you love me?” part. If I guy is desperate enough to beg you to say you love him, hell, without even giving you a chance to say it on your own, get out of the car, go into the house, lock the door, and block his phone number.

  • Anonymous

    What a fucking horrible ad. Doesn’t make any sense.  How is it that virgins are more successful… and successful at what..  hiding their sexual angst? And that bear…  like the clown head in a scary movie randomly appearing.

    I wonder if both of them use this ad to get more work.. “You know, I was in the second Purity Bear ad”…

  • Chris

    So not believable, I mean c’mon, he drives a ruby red edge with a stuffed on the center console.  Now if the bear were in the back seat, well, then we are talking!!

    • Chris

      bear*

  • Gunstargreen

    Wait, this isn’t a joke?

  • http://twitter.com/Buffy2q Buffy2q

    Maybe they should just “date” online until they decide to marry.  No chance of losing their “purity” that way, and it’s far cheaper too.  No creepy bear needed. 

  • Anonymous

     “Also, “I feel like we really got to know each other” sounds like
    something you say on a first or second date. If that’s true, you DO NOT
    follow that up with “I love you.” RED FLAG! You don’t need a freaky
    bear to tell you to stay away from anyone who does that.”

    Yes, didn’t we learn that from the first episode of “How I met Your Mother”? Don’t these people listen to the public service announcements given by our generous cable networks?

     On the other hand, Ted turned out to be an okay guy. On the other other hand, Ted is a fictional character.


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