A Photo Journey of the Nation’s Largest Christian Music Festival

Creation Fest is the self-proclaimed “Nation’s Largest Christian Music Fest” and BuzzFeed writer Matt Stopera spent two days experiencing the magic.

He then came home and taught us 56 Things [He] Learned At The Biggest Christian Music Festival In The World.

Here are some of the highlights:

2. Every single secular product has a God product rip-off

10.  Christians are really against casinos.

18. This exists.

24. (Some) Christians don’t like Mr. Rogers

Read the rest of Stopera’s experiences here!

P.S. I want to give a heads up to our readers in the Northwest Washington area — Creation Fest is coming to you in a couple weeks! You know you want to go…

About Jessica Bluemke

Jessica Bluemke grew up in the suburbs of Chicago and graduated from Ball State University in 2008 with a BA in Literature. She currently works as a writer and resides on the North side of Chicago.

  • Kicking the Darkness

    Mr. Rogers!?!  One of the most decent, kind, giving people ever?  How can someone hate on Fred Rogers?

    • http://www.facebook.com/don.gwinn Don Gwinn

       Looking at the shirt below it, I think it’s part of a theme that could be summed up as “No More Mr. Nice Christian.”  The idea is that the reason Christianity is fading a little in America is that Christians are too dedicated to being “nice” and inoffensive, so they need to (check the shirt) “Live Offensively.”

      It’s down right now, but Google has cached versions of “www.liveoffensively.com”   It’s a shirt store.

      • http://twitter.com/Buffy2q Buffy

        Are they serious?  They think Christians aren’t being offensive enough? 

        • Patterrssonn

          I know this kills me too.

      • george.w

        Mister Rogers is not inoffensive. He tried to teach kids to own their feelings, respect themselves instead of feeling sinful and awful all the time, and that bullying is wrong. In other words, making them unfit for the Christian party.

        • Liberated Liberal

          Evil, evil man!!

          Seriously, Mr. Rogers has always been my hero.  I always wished he were my grandpa or something.

    • Erin W

      Especially ironic since he was an ordained Presbyterian minister!

  • http://twitter.com/TominousTone Thomas Lawson

    Yeah, the Cupcake Day for abortion is kind of silly. As an analogy, I wonder if they’d eat a cupcake after it’s been in the oven for 23 seconds.

    • newavocation

      I’d give them a little more credit if they at least would give cupcakes to people on death row too.

      • http://twitter.com/Buffy2q Buffy

         I’d give them even more credit if they made cupcakes for all of the kids who die from poverty related causes every day. 

    • Murph

      And it’s on John Lennon’s birthday. I hope Imagine will be playing when the cupcakes are distributed.

  • fett101

    I think the pickle in number 3 is supposed to be the cucumber from veggie tales. Actually, I think he’s a ripoff of shit pickle from James Rolfe of Angry Video Game Nerd fame.
    http://cinemassacre.com/2007/08/11/shit-pickle-episode-1/ 

    So much Christian merchandise is just rip-offs of two year old trends. I guess by 2014 we’ll have My Little Savior to look forward to.

  • Spamamander

    Hmmm the Washington stop is in Enumclaw. The town most famous for the “Mr. Hands” case where a man died after having *cough* intimate relations with a horse. Take from that what you will.

  • http://dogmabytes.com/ C Peterson

    The women’s style of “God’s Armor” has a Kevlar strap that runs from the front bottom seam to the rear. And the first thing that “Everyday Soldier” made me think of was Buffy Sainte-Marie’s “Universal Soldier”… hardly a positive image.

  • http://twitter.com/Buffy2q Buffy

    Those “virginity” shirts, like the “purity rings” are rather creepy.  I just don’t understand why so many women feel the need to advertise to the world the status of their hymen.

    • http://squeakysoapbox.com/ Rich Wilson

      http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/221275/the-boss-is-here 

      Purity rings is how we sell sex to little girls

      • http://twitter.com/Buffy2q Buffy

         I love that episode.  The one where Cartman leads a “Christian rock” band is also hilarious.

        • LesterBallard

          Faith + 1;

          “I wanna get down on my knees and start pleasing Jesus, I wanna feel his salvation all over my face.” 

          “Body of Christ sleek swimmer’s body all muscled up and toned! The body of Christ oh lord almighty, I wish I could call it my own!” 

          • http://twitter.com/kaileyverse kaileyverse

            “I can never win my bet because you stupid assholes don’t give out platinum albums… FUCK JESUS!”

            • LesterBallard

              “Double Myrrh”

  • MegaZeusThor

    We should call them bible geeks, because it’s certainly what they’re into. Like more than Startrek nerds are (like me, sometimes) are into Sci-Fi.

    Note: my post is basically riffing on this older video:

    http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6583358/why-religious-people-are-nerds 

    • ortcutt

       They’re not really Bible geeks though.  If they were Bible geeks, they would have Greek and Hebrew lessons and have really in-depth analysis of the texts, their context, etc…  Evangelicals aren’t really into any of that stuff.   Instead the analysis is on this level.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYbrFaTmh3g

  • http://www.facebook.com/AnonymousBoy Larry Meredith

    is this blog ever going to put up an article about the Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes divorce over Scientology? It’s big national news by now…

    • Kevin_Of_Bangor

      Nobody truly gives a shit about them. Go to TMZ is you desire to read the crap.

      • http://www.facebook.com/AnonymousBoy Larry Meredith

         ”the crap” I “is” desire to read IS interesting news about religion. I don’t care much for celeb relationship news, but I do care about the allegations being brought up about Scientology.

        • Kevin_Of_Bangor

          Trust me, TMZ has all the news you ever desire to read about it.

          • http://www.facebook.com/AnonymousBoy Larry Meredith

             Sorry, “Kevin_Of_Bangor” – who spells atheist with a capital – I must have missed the memo stating that only one website can report on a given topic no matter how relevant it might be to the readers of other websites.

            • Kevin_Of_Bangor

              I didn’t even realize it was capitalized until you said something. Thanks for pointing out my error. I will correct it right away.

              P.S. We still don’t want to read about the Tim/Katie bullshit on this blog.

        • Lellipses

          I don’t care about Tom/Katie, but I’d also be interested in hearing   more about this.  

          • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/FDGYHBEWVNGUG763L5X4TON3JQ Nazani14

            I’m slightly curious to see if she will go back to Catholicism.  And, I hope their daughter has her own ideas.

  • Gunstargreen

    The Mr. Rogers one terrifies me since the message is basically “stop being nice, kill the infidels.”

    • ortcutt

       It’s the Mark Driscoll agro-d*&chebag-masculine vision of Christianity.  It’s the same cultural phenomenon behind MMA at churches.   It’s not about killing infidels.  It’s about asserting outdated gender roles that are being swept away everywhere else in society other than conservative religion.

      • Lucilius

        It’s not about killing infidels … yet.

  • Pseudonym

    That “Jesus Freak” is now officially retro makes me feel really old.

    I find it encouraging that there was only one anti-gay thing at the whole event, and it was a bumper sticker (in a sea of many others) sold by an old dude. This shows, I think, that homophobia doesn’t play well with younger Christians.

    I’m totally getting a “poop on satan” sticker, as my own little “screw you” to LaVeyan posers.

    • http://annainca.blogspot.com/ Anna

      The “Poop on Satan” sticker is kind of funny, until you remember that these Christians actually believe in a devil that goes around trying to cause harm in people’s lives. Then it’s just scary.

  • Jessica

    theres a mormon ad at the top of the page?

    • Yukimi

      Hemant doesn’t decide what adverts are in here but we can well click on them to get him revenue at the expense of the Mormon Church all in oen single click XP

      • CelticWhisper

        Discussion or encouragement of clicking ads isn’t
        Officially endorsed or sanctioned by most ad providers.

        If you want to click LDS ads to support Hemant or FA, just
        Try to keep it low-key so he doesn’t get in trouble.

        Not saying policies like that are right as they do stifle
        Open and free speech among site users who have no real
        Way of contesting them, but it’s how things are for now.

  • Marguerite

    I followed the link, and was a bit surprised by the Christian who loves “Doctor Who.” I love Who myself, but I frequently see people complaining in Amazon reviews about the “homosexual agenda” it supposedly puts forth (Captain Jack Harkness is not exactly an evangelical Christian role model!). Nor do I think evangelicals would love the fairly heavy-handed Christ imagery Russell T. Davies sometimes uses for the Doctor. And finally, the show is fairly grounded in real science– we see the Earth’s creation in season 3 of the new series, and God is nowhere to be seen. I’m going to guess that this particular fan was… anomalous:-).

    • http://squeakysoapbox.com/ Rich Wilson

      If memory serves, Adric was responsible for the Big Bang.

    • Guest

      People seem to see “agendas” only in things they dislike.  I know a Christian who loves Dr Who and has said nothing about any such agenda in it, yet believes “Happy Feet” is pushing a homosexual agenda because it teaches people that it’s “okay to be different” and because of all the dancing and singing…

    • Raising_Rlyeh

      Yeah, Davies did get a little heavy handed with the Christ imagery. Though to say at times I compared the Doctor more to tinkerbell than jesus. Mainly for the ends of series 3 and 5. Reminded me quite a bit of “i believe in fairies, i do, i do.”

      Kind of funny article
      http://www.cracked.com/blog/how-dr.-who-became-my-religion/

  • Mattsealjr

    Ok, I’m a strong Catholic, and I’m still nauseated by this stuff. What on EARTH is wrong with Mr. Rogers? And yes gambling can become an unhealthy addiction but I seriously don’t think going to a casino is at all a sin. Last but not least, the hipster Christianity book nearly caused my blood to curdle. 

    If this (obviously aimed at youth, though I think poorly pulled off) is what people think Christianity is like through and through, it’s no wonder so many are turned off by many outreach programs.

    • Mattsealjr

      Ok, my grammar kind of fell apart there at the end, but it’s late and I’m exhausted :P

  • http://northierthanthou.com/ northierthanthou

    Just a little bit icky.

  • http://chaoskeptic.blogspot.com Rev. Ouabache

    50. YOLO is EVERYWHERE.

    Wait a minute… Don’t these people believe in the afterlife?

  • ErickaMJohnson

    Creation Northwest?  I’m tempted… It’s $47 for a day pass. Wonder if I could find anyone interested in going with me…

  • Jfigdor

    In response to:  Hipster Christianity, I didn’t realise Chris Stedman’s memoir was out yet… (just kidding buddy, your book is gonna blow the doors off this ridiculous self-described “cool” tripe).

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_RPPWVLMFKJ7QCHLEVQAR5GSL5M momma J

    The Hipster Christianity book was written by a high school friend of my wife’s. (He’s not in high school now of course). We have it on my shelf, but haven’t cracked it open yet. I can’t get past the title…and I’m a Christian!

    Maybe someday I’ll run out of things to read and I’ll open it up :/

  • http://www.facebook.com/AnonymousBoy Larry Meredith

    That Mr. Rogers one is brilliantly sneaky, actually. Who wears a shirt that says who ISN’T your role model? And since most people love Mr. Rogers, that will obviously peak people’s interests. That shirt is designed to bait people into asking why, thus giving them permission to lecture you about their faith.

    • Sagrav

      Funny, my default reaction to someone wearing that shirt is to sneer at them and walk away.  Mr. Rogers was a kind man, and a much better role model than all of the blowhards on the religious right.

  • Aviatress

    Wow – they’re still holding these festivals. I attended one of the first “Jesus festivals” in 1975 (also in PA). I recall it raining for 2 days and the place turning into a muddy swamp. We proudly called ourselves Jesus freaks back then (would have denied the “proud” part, but that’s what it was). In some ways this looks much the same, but in other ways it’s very different. Much more political and angry today, more idealistic back then. But that may be a trick of memory and the view through the eyes of an 18 year old believer versus those of a 55 year old skeptic

  • John Small Berries

    The #1 thing I learned from that: the makers of Christian signs and bumper stickers can’t kern worth a damn.

  • Believer in Nothing

    Re #24: I want to see that whole cupcake tshirt. They like to eat cupcakes and babies? I thought we were the ones who ate babies . . ..

    • allein

      It says “My favorite things are cupcakes and babies”
      http://cupcakesforlife.com/products/

      I like yours better ;)

      “My Two Favorite Things to Make with My Wife…” is even better.

  • Raising_Rlyeh

    There is actually a book out called “Rapture Ready” about the christian subculture and their attempts to turn products, like nike, into christian versions. The author went to a bibleman show, went to another christian festival, but i forgot where. Anyway it was really interesting especially when the author rips into a christian “pro-life” group that states artificial insemination is wrong because it treats children as commodities. The author has two children via invitro. 

  • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/FDGYHBEWVNGUG763L5X4TON3JQ Nazani14

    Wonder how much of this stuff is made in the good ol’ US of A.
    Also wonder if any people of color (sunburn does not count) attended.

  • Amy

    The author confused Larry the Cucumber with a pickle!


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