‘Mitt Romney: A Hero in My Mind’

William Tapley, the Phallic Symbols Guy from 2011, has written Mitt Romney‘s campaign song! (The Romney campaign did not get back to me when I submitted my suggestion.)

I literally love it more than anything:

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Cried the eagle to the world below.

Wake up friend!

Can’t you see we’re at the end?

Wars and rumors of wars

Look out for the signs he gave

Jesus gave

Are you saved?

If you keep your wick trimmed,

You’ll be saved.

You’ll go with Him.

World War 3.

That’s Obama’s plan for you and me.

What a crock!

It’s the only hope he’s got.

He can’t be elected on his record, it’s a crime.

He should resign.

That’s why I’m

Voting for Mitt Romney,

He’s a hero in my mind.

Personally, it reads as more of an “Anti-Obama, End of Days, Accept Christ Before It’s Too Late” anthem, but hey, a song’s a song, amirite?

About Jessica Bluemke

Jessica Bluemke grew up in the suburbs of Chicago and graduated from Ball State University in 2008 with a BA in Literature. She currently works as a writer and resides on the North side of Chicago.

  • richardlynnbell

    And he uses the term “Mind” in its broadest possible sense.

  • Reginald Selkirk

    If you keep your wick trimmed,You’ll be saved.

    A double entendre! How circumspect.

    • http://www.facebook.com/chrisalgoo Chris Algoo

      Is this guy Jewish?

    • Xeon2000

      circumspect… nice decision–with your word choice I mean.

    • Edmond

      Is that a biblical phrase?  It sounds like a euphemism for… something.  Well, gotta go trim my wick!  I’ll be in my bunk.

      • http://twitter.com/InMyUnbelief TCC

        It is in fact a reference to Matthew 25, the parable of the virgins.

        • Reginald Selkirk

           How do you know that “in fact” it is merely a reference to Matt 25, and not a double entendre reference to Gen 17? How do you know that “in fact” Matt 25 is not a double entendre reference to Gen 17?

    • cipher

      You beat me to it!

    • B_R_Deadite99

       Indeed, it’s fit to impress Phil Ken Sebben himself! Ha-Hah!

  • MegaZeusThor

    Glancing at his YouTube channel, and I can’t quite tell if he’s serious or if it’s seriously good satire… 

  • http://www.facebook.com/timsolley Tim Solley

    This guy is serious.  His expose on the Denver airport was exquisite!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=750428174 Paddy Reddin

    Why is the third eagle of the apocalypse endorsing a mormon?  I know the momorn church claim that towards the end the world will turn to them for help but evangelicals (even nut jobs like Tapley) tend to avoid mormonism like the plague.  It’s a sex cult, don’tchaknow.

    • jdm8

      Mitt seems to make conservatives feel safe, I don’t know why.  I think it’s that he’s not Obama, but in many respects, his positions were often very similar to Obama’s on many issues, just with an “R” behind his name.  For all the RINO talk in Republican “tent”, Mitt fits RINO better than most of his rivals.

      Crackpots much like this guy think Obama is a Kenyan born Muslim, so a Mormon might feel very safe in comparison.

  • cipher

    If nothing else, the Internet has shown us how many truly stupid people there are in this country.

  • B_R_Deadite99

    WTF did I just watch? 


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