Baby Jesus Was Hiding in a Tree All This Time…

What is this?

If you guessed “A Dementor holding a Pikachu,” you’d be right… same for all of you who said it was the guy from The Scream exploding from the inside.

A Utah man begs to disagree, though. He says it’s the Holy Mother holding the baby Jesus:

Dean Hansen made the extraordinary discovery about six weeks ago when he and his uncle, Lee Taylor, were in central Utah cutting up pinyon pine wood for tent posts and firewood, KSTU-TV reported.

“When we first saw it, we were like ‘wow,’” Hansen told the station.

Hansen is keeping the 3-inch-thick circle in a safe place while he decides whether or not to put it on display.

I’m guessing Hansen’s going to milk all the money he can out of this vague outline. Though he might as well. Jesus is gonna be pissed when he finds out he just got sawed down.

(Thanks to Zack for the link!)

About Hemant Mehta

Hemant Mehta is the editor of Friendly Atheist, appears on the Atheist Voice channel on YouTube, and co-hosts the uniquely-named Friendly Atheist Podcast. You can read much more about him here.

  • Kevin_Of_Bangor

    The Scream is what first popped into my mind. I didn’t even see Pikachu until I looked closely and of course I have to post the below picture.

  • Glasofruix

    Am i the only one who sees a hoodied guy firing an assault rifle?

  • Karla Porter

    Doc Rorschach would have a field day…

  • m6wg4bxw

    It’s never a muslim wearing a burqa or hijab, is it? And what authority determines which way is up on these things? Rotate the image 180° to see a very surprised cyclopean.

  • James Lindsay

    I’m definitely going with dementor holding Pikachu. Nailed it in one.

  • DougI

    Last week Christians were worshiping a dirty window, now they’re worshiping a tree.  Silly people.

  • Kevin_Of_Bangor

    As someone who is into firearms I do not see the assault rifle.

  • C Peterson

    That’s because it’s behind the muzzle flash…

  • Kevin_Of_Bangor

    There is a muzzle flash in that picture too? LOL!!! Amazing what the brain can do.

  • Darth Skorr

    I see a Dementor Kamehameha-ing.

    Alternately that fairy in Pan’s Labyrinth that lost one of his eyes.

  • C Peterson

    Isn’t it. See “pareidolia”. The thing is, most of us can recognize the phenomenon as real without accepting the image as such. But there are always those who think Jesus has nothing better to do than manifest as a distorted ghost in a tortilla.

  • A3Kr0n

    It’s amazing how God makes trees in such a way that cross sectioning them brings out Mary and baby Jesus. This is proof of His love for all those who accept Him.  For the rest of us its a chunk of a tree. 

  • Chakolate

    You guys should stop making fun of him.  Clearly, he is a very deep thinker:

    “When we first saw it, we were like ‘wow,’” Hansen told the station.”

  • Richard Wade

    Some people really see the craziest things. Any sane person can see that’s clearly a one-eyed alien playing a starfish like an accordion. Sheesh. People and their overactive imaginations.

  • Kevin_Of_Bangor

    I’m well aware of pareidolia and I enjoy having the ability to look at a cloud and see something that is not there, it truly is fun to do but as you stated, one would think Jesus would have better things to do.

  • MegaZeusThor

    God has the funniest “to do list”.

  • Ibis3

    Turn 90 degrees clockwise and it’s an E.T. alien in a KISS cover band.

  • Trickster Goddess

    It’s Mary screaming while an alien baby Jesus explodes from her stomach.

  • SphericalBunny

    Mary looks a bit shocked at the baby Jesus’s explosive diarrhoea…

  • The Godless Monster

     Yeah, I saw it as muzzle flash as well…

  • Aaron Bellomy

    Might be a restored Jesus painting.

  • The Other Weirdo

    So long as it’s not taxpayer-subsidized property, does it really matter? If delusional people want to milk money out of even more delusional people, who cares?

  • Drew M.

    My second thought was muzzle flash. My first was, “webbed, clawed hand reaching out to grab me!”

  • Bottle Rocket

    I just saw something undefinable.

  • anuran

    I dont know, but all that I see is Edvard Munch’s Scream. 

  • Rando

    I thought it looked like Smog from Silent Hill Homecoming.

    It definitely looks especially like Smog when it opens it’s lung sack.

  • Robster

    It’s a Bronze-Age alien or perhaps something else with a perfectly rational explanation. Either or.

  • Stamfoster


  • Renshia

    Better that, than putting heretics to the rack.

  • Willy Occam

    It’s a surprised Unabomber, at the very moment that one of his mailbombs prematurely detonates in his hands.  

  • kalimsaki

    It’s clearly seen that holy Mary with baby Jesus

  • wmdkitty

    All I see is an Eldritch Abomination…

  • wmdkitty

    She obviously has a sense of humour — look at the platypus!

  • Michael

    The thing it’s holding looks entirely like a whole animal pelt, stretched out to dry.

    Not sure what’s up with the face but as a guess it’s covered because the person doesn’t want animal bits in their eyes or mouth.

  • Ed

    My first thought was that it looked uncannily like an attacking Geth warrior from the Mass Effect video game series, but then again, I am a huge nerd in that respect.

  • Raising_Rlyeh

    No, you fools, this is clearly No Face from Hayao Miyazaki’s “Spirited Away.” Now, would you like a gold coin?

  • Bellj

    The Mary part I can kind of see. But the baby Jesus looks like a big splat with a head attached. Not very attractive.

  • pagansister

    Only slightly better than Jesus in a grilled cheese sandwich!  

  • Sue Blue

    Yeah, I can see it….Mary screaming in horror as Baby Jesus Alien explodes out of her chest.   

    I thought Mormon beliefs were weird – and then I see what passes for Catholic beliefs in Utah.  Is it the salty water?  The heat?  What?

  • Olivia Ochoa

    I see a picture of myself wearing my neighbors skin and eating pudding. Is that weird?

  • Baal

     Thanks Alex, I’ll take Pareidolia for $300.

  • MG

    Baby Jeebus has cloven hooves?

  • chicago dyke

    i’m so glad i’m not the only one to think of that…

  • midnight rambler

     It’s ironic art, because she has the face of a tapeworm, yet Jesus is exploding from her stomach.

  • Tainda

    Pika  Pika!

  • Mark W.

    It’s obviously the remnants  of a Super Nova being sucked into a Black Hole.  All Hail Sagan!  May Hawkings blessings be upon you!

  • Holytape

    Baby Jesus is little Otik.

  • wmdkitty

    LOL @ “Hail Sagan!”

  • BeasKnees

    “A Dementor holding a Pikachu”…this made me laugh for a good minute at my desk.  

  • Thumper1990

    “The Holy Mother Holding the baby Jesus”? Holy Mother I kind of get, even if it is abstract, but the “baby” looks like a cartoon explosion! If anything it’s “The Holy Mother Holding a Bomb”.  

  • Richard Smith

    Seems to me, that if you have to find your god in everything you happen to see – maybe it’s because you don’t feel  your god is present – if you don’t feel your god is present, why worship your god?