I don’t know if you heard, but there is a War on Christmas, y’all! Fear not, though. FOX News Radio’s Todd Starnes is all over it!
(True story about Starnes: His Twitter bio says that “He occupies the far right side of the Fox News Corner of the World.” I can’t imagine what it’s like all the way over there or what the world looks like from that angle. Probably scary. But I digress.)
He is so mad at the Obamas for a change! Specifically, he’s mad about their Christmas card. Or, should I say… holiday card?! *Thunder clap*
Starnes is all, like, “They don’t even have a picture of Jesus or nothin’ on their card? WTH, Obamas?!” He wrote a blog post called “White House ‘Holiday’ Card Spotlights Dog, Not Christmas.”
So what’s on the front of their card if not Baby Jesus, a Nativity scene, a big fat Cross, or any combination of them?
It’s just a lovely illustration of Bo, the Obamas’ Portuguese Water Dog, wearing a scarf (he thinks he’s people!) and being adorable out on the South Lawn:
THE NERVE. THE VERY NERVE.
And what does the inside say?
This season, may your home be filled with family, friends, and the joy of the holidays.
Holidays? What “holidays” does he mean? Easter? Labor day? This whole card is meaningless because it doesn’t say “Merry effing Christmas!” I mean, every single person in the country celebrates Christmas and Jesus. If not, screw them anyway. They ain’t real ‘Mericuns, anyway.
But this is my favorite part of the article:
Former President Bush did not mention Merry Christmas in his cards, but had a history of including Bible passages on the White House Christmas Cards.
For his final Christmas in office, the president sent a greeting card that included a verse from the Gospel of Matthew.
“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven,” the card read.
But that was back in the day when Jesus was the reason for the season — not a Portuguese Water dog.
Nice burn, Starnes.
No, wait, I changed my mind. This is my favorite part of the article:
Last year’s card also featured Bo — and made no mention of the word ‘Christmas.’ The front of last year’s card showed the dog lounging by a fireplace surrounded by holiday greenery. Presents were placed on a table underneath a poinsettia — instead of a Christmas tree.
Yeah, screw off, Obamas! No Christmas tree? Poinsettias? This is unprecedented! No other president has ever, ever, ever featured a Christmas card without a Christmas tree.