FOX News Commentator (Unsurprisingly) Hates The Obama Christmas Card

I don’t know if you heard, but there is a War on Christmas, y’all! Fear not, though. FOX News Radio’s Todd Starnes is all over it!

(True story about Starnes: His Twitter bio says that “He occupies the far right side of the Fox News Corner of the World.” I can’t imagine what it’s like all the way over there or what the world looks like from that angle. Probably scary. But I digress.)

He is so mad at the Obamas for a change! Specifically, he’s mad about their Christmas card.  Or, should I say… holiday card?! *Thunder clap*

Starnes is all, like, “They don’t even have a picture of Jesus or nothin’ on their card? WTH, Obamas?!” He wrote a blog post called “White House ‘Holiday’ Card Spotlights Dog, Not Christmas.”

So what’s on the front of their card if not Baby Jesus, a Nativity scene, a big fat Cross, or any combination of them?

It’s just a lovely illustration of Bo, the Obamas’ Portuguese Water Dog, wearing a scarf (he thinks he’s people!) and being adorable out on the South Lawn:


And what does the inside say?

This season, may your home be filled with family, friends, and the joy of the holidays.

Holidays? What “holidays” does he mean? Easter? Labor day? This whole card is meaningless because it doesn’t say “Merry effing Christmas!” I mean, every single person in the country celebrates Christmas and Jesus. If not, screw them anyway. They ain’t real ‘Mericuns, anyway.

But this is my favorite part of the article:

Former President Bush did not mention Merry Christmas in his cards, but had a history of including Bible passages on the White House Christmas Cards.

For his final Christmas in office, the president sent a greeting card that included a verse from the Gospel of Matthew.

“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven,” the card read.

But that was back in the day when Jesus was the reason for the season — not a Portuguese Water dog.

Nice burn, Starnes.

No, wait, I changed my mind.  This is my favorite part of the article:

Last year’s card also featured Bo — and made no mention of the word ‘Christmas.’  The front of last year’s card showed the dog lounging by a fireplace surrounded by holiday greenery. Presents were placed on a table underneath a poinsettia — instead of a Christmas tree.

Yeah, screw off, Obamas!  No Christmas tree?  Poinsettias? This is unprecedented! No other president has ever, ever, ever featured a Christmas card without a Christmas tree.

Oh, wait…

George W. Bush’s Christmas Card from 2002. The poinsettias look familiar…

And another from 2005. A winter scene in front of the White House with pets in the snow? Also familiar…

Et tu, Reagan? (1984)

About Jessica Bluemke

Jessica Bluemke grew up in the suburbs of Chicago and graduated from Ball State University in 2008 with a BA in Literature. She currently works as a writer and resides on the North side of Chicago.

  • Holytape

    Baby Jesus is crying.  I hope Obama is happy now.  And you know what else irks me?  Obama wants everyone to be born in the hospital or with proper medical personal in attendance.  The manger was good enough for the son of God, it ought to be good enough for those communist 47%ers.  

    The birth of Sasquatch Jesus

  • farnsworth

    Fortunately, people who are clueless enough or stupid enough to believe this nonsense aren’t having their minds changed.  They already believed that Obama is a Mooslim Kinyin Comnist Soshulist who hates ‘Merka.

  • Cat’s Staff

    Presidents probably have very little to do with things like this… there are people who make something up, pass it across the Presidents desk quickly for approval and then send them out.  The President probably has as much to with this as Starnes has to do with this showing up on the Fox News website… or this one …or this with “holiday” in the title.

  • Kevin_Of_Bangor

    I’ve always loved how he can be a Mooslim and Comnist at the same time. BTW, love your spellings.

  • Tainda

    Not to mention a half BLACK Portuguese Water dog…

    Need I say more?  No

  • C Peterson

    Of course, this card is entirely appropriate given the very diverse beliefs and cultures of the thousands of people it will be sent to.

    For a guy so concerned about the meaning of the season (as he sees it), Starnes is sure being mean, grumpy, and unpleasant. Not exactly practicing what he preaches, is he?

  • Justin Miyundees

    Maybe he doesn’t believe in dog?

  • Conuly

    Poinsettias are a Christmas flower for the same reason pines are a Christmas tree – they bloom when other flowers are dormant. Plus, the red is for the blood of Christ, so what the hell is unChristian about sticking presents under one?

  • RobMcCune

    He’s part of the faux news crowd so lets go through the list of things about  that make them angry and see if the card has them.

    1.Obama. Check.

    2.Positive emotional responses to cute things. Check.

    3. Positive emotional responses to Obama. Check.

    4. The existence of things that do not promote republican party doctrine. Check.

    5. The existence of things uncategorized by republican party doctrine. Check.

    6. Not acknowledging the majority for concerns of the minority. Check.

    7. Refusing to acknowledge the nit picks of a minority of republicans. Check.

    8. Oppressing freedom by choosing to do things differently. Check.

  • jdm8

    Obama could do everything the Republican leadership and pundits want him to do, to the letter, but they’d move the goalpost just out of spite. Double standards in politics aren’t new though.

  • NewEnglandBob

    What do you expect from a Faux Noise troll? Thinking before writing? Ho Ho Ho!

  • good_creon

    Obama could have sent out a card with the freakin’ Nativity on it, and he’d still get crap for “pretending” to be Christian, or for trying to pander.  Obama can never win when it comes to these guys.

  • Willy Occam

     …or even better yet, a socialist and a fascist.

    Just throw together every scary bogey man you can think of into one package, no matter how self-contradicting, and there’s your right-wing caricature of Obama.  No thought required.  Even better if it fits on a bumper sticker.

  • Lefty

    “Starnes is all, like, ”

    jessica, i like your articles, but i deal with way too many teenagers to ever want to read/hear this voluntarily…

  • MargueriteF

    My ninety-five-year-old father just got this in the mail. He thought it was a very nice card. Of course, he’s an atheist:-).

  • Jessica

    May I ask how one gets on the Obama’s mailing list?  It’s all I want in the whole world!

  • Troels Jakobsen

    We can only hope sensible Republicans will repeal the socialist dystopia that is adequate healthcare for all Americans.

  • Octoberfurst

     Aside from killing himself there is nothing President Obama can do that will make the cretins at Fox News happy. They bitch about EVERYTHING he does. If Obama had dived into a lake to save some drowning kids the people at Fox would be saying, “Did you see how he ignored that ‘No trespassing sign? I guess he thinks laws are for other people!”   >sigh<  

  • Usclat

    You mean a dyslexic atheist who didn’t believe in ‘dog’? Justin? Hehehehe, I’m ACTUALLY a dyslexic atheist (for real) and I DO believe in dogs. I see them everywhere and even had a beautiful lab. Now this ‘god’ thing …..

  • Stephen Rowley

    Remember what Dog spells backward? think about it

  • chicago dyke

    which have so much to do with a child’s birth in the arid climates of the middle east ~2000 years ago.

    oh… wait. 

  • chicago dyke

    damn, Poe’s law is harder than any PhD exam i ever had to prep for…

  • Greg Scott

    That Starnes guy is too old for imaginary friends .

  • Miss_Beara

    Dunt ferget heez alsew a natzi. A natzi, mooslim, comnist, kinyin, soshulist, fashist who wants too put ‘vryone in FEMA kamps and take away yer gunz.

  • Coyotenose

     I’d call him a “Grinch” or a “Scrooge”, but they were actually the heroes of their stories. :P

  • Coyotenose

     We’re treading dangerously close to creating a LOLcats/Obama hybrid abomination meme here.

  • Coyotenose

     On a ridiculous tangent, Plankton, the mad scientist villain on Spongebob Squarepants, once took Spongebob into his evil lair to see his Secret Lab. There was nothing in the room but a giant TV screen with a video of a Labrador playing.

    Then he took him to his Secret Laboratory. I laughed stupidly.

  • Coyotenose

     Poinsettias smell bad to me, therefore as a Christian it oppresses me when other people like them in their own homes or take pictures of them.

  • Kevin_Of_Bangor

    Is it pathetic I could read that with ease?

  • Bellj

    I think it’s terrific.  Bo in a scarf looks great, it’s a beautiful winter photo, and the caption is perfect. 

  • C Peterson

    They reformed themselves. Maybe Starnes will, as well… but I’m not holding my breath.

  • ConureDelSol

    Dogs are way cooler than Christmas anyway.

  • Jordan Olsen

    My only question is: Why didn’t I get one? Are my twenty-five dollars in donations not good enough for you Obamas! A form message from the president – that used donations more wisely spent on 2014 candidates – was the one thing that would have made my winter solstice bearable here in frigid North Dakota. (Tears up personal cards to Obamas and Bidens) 

  • JoshEvolved

    Which is because he’s black.

  • JoshEvolved

    Racists are always racist.

  • JoshEvolved

    Evwrything is cooler than Christmas. Christmas is the dumbest fucking thing ever.

  • Pete084

    Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac?

    He lies awake at night wondering if there really is a dog.

  • Richard Wade

    Here’s what I wrote over at Starnes’ Fox News (ptui) site:

    “Mr. Starnes, I’m amazed at your ability to get paid for writing whining drivel like this. You have so severe a case of Christian Privilege that you think a White House card that includes EVERYONE in its good wishes is somehow a terrible snub to you and all the Christians who you think are made only in your image. Unless someone says, “Merry Christmas, and screw everybody who celebrates other things,” you portray their attempt to spread good will to everyone as a direct attack on Christmas. What self-centered, falsely pious negativism you spew when people are trying to show the love, peace, and good will that your savior urged you to practice. If FOR YOU this time of year is about Jesus, then how about trying to act the way he wanted you to, instead of kvetching about not getting special treatment?”

  • JasmynMoon

    Wow. My young earth creationist, fundie, dinosaur denying grandparents love my holiday cards which feature my dogs in new Christmas sweaters with Santa. This guy is more uptight than them. Impressive.

  • Kari Lynn

    The red (and other colours) in the poinsettia is not the flower, those are bracts. The yellow in the poinsettia is the flower. Also, lettuce flowers bloom during the short sunlight months, does that mean that lettuce is a Christmas vegetable?

  • Baal

    I’m predicting we’ll see the same faux outrage on the same faux reasoning from the same faux ‘news’ station next year.

  • John of Indiana

    Starnes’ biggest problem with the card is that there is a black man living in that house in the background…

  • Toast4122

    You’re just mad because people are celebrating the birthday of somebody who probably did not exist on a day that was probably not his birthday. 

  • John

     Never mind that the “Christmas” tree was stolen from pagan traditions and many Christians in the past were actually opposed to using it.

  • David Starner

    A few hours work entering data for their campaign got me one.

  • Houndentenor

    Those are all lovely cards.  Whoever is in charge of designing those (most likely not any of the Presidents of either party did anything more than sign off on the final product after looking at it for 10 seconds or less0n) is very talented and skilled. It says a lot about the idiocy of Fox News commentators that they can’t see the beauty and appropriateness in all of these cards.  This is first rate graphic design.  Sorry, right wing nutjobs but you’re wrong yet again.

  • Kaydenpat

    Love your sarcasm, Jessica.  And love that photo of Bo.  

  • Kaydenpat

     Lovely Christmas card.  I wish I had gotten one too. 

  • Kaydenpat

     That’s what I was wondering too since I donated a lot of $$$ to Obama/Biden this year. Oh well.

  • Jamie Bernstein

    The Christmas cards came from the Whitehouse. Your donations were to the campaign. The campaign and the Whitehouse legally must remain separate. If the campaign shared donor information with the Whitehouse and the Whitehouse acted on that by using funds to contact donors, it would be illegal.

  • Jamie Bernstein

    As someone who got this Holiday card (because I’m totes on the Obama’s Christmas list) and do not personally celebrate Christmas, I was extra appreciative of the holiday card. It shows that the Obama’s don’t care whether I celebrate the same holiday as them or not and want to wish me a happy holiday season regardless. The fact that ANYONE would complain about this is just ridiculously stupid.

  • TheBlackCat

    He is a gay Muslim, atheist, and staunch follower of Reverend Wright

  • Conuly

    Sure, why not? Some people plant small lettuces around nativity scenes so it looks green and alive. (I don’t know why I know that.)

  • Conuly

    Also, I do know it’s not the true flower, but I don’t think these people know that.

  • Conuly

    Baby steps, baby steps. We’re not even at the part where none of this happened near the solstice yet.

  • Buck Ofama

    Ovomit is just trying to show us he didn’t eat Bo…..yet..

  • Mary Miller

    What babies? You kill them all at your whim. If it doesn’t fit into your lifestyle at that time. Oh yeah choice. Except if people choose God or life or constitution. Or anything that doesn’t agree with your thought. Then no choice. If we choose to stay at home and raise our children instead if work outside the home. If we choose to love God. Why does that bother you people so much? We truly believe in choice. Even to allow you your opinion. I could care less what you believe or dont believe. Why do you care so much about me? You athiest spend alot if time on someone who doesn’t exist!! I believe you know He exists and just hate that…No zObama isn’t a Muslim.He us an athiest

  • Holytape

    There is an element that I would like to introduce you to, its name is Lithium.

    First of all, you do not “allow” me to have my opinion. It is not a privilege that you grant me. It is my right.

    Second, enough with “what about the babies.” A fetus does not have the same rights as a child. Furthermore, I was pointing out the that anti-choice people seem to only care about the fetus and not the child. And they’ll be damned if they care about the mother.

    Thirdly, you throw around words like “constitution,” with out understanding it. The constitution prevents the state from promoting religion.

    Fourthly, I don’t care what people believe. But, frequently Christians demand that they receive special privileges, and that is when I care. Like demanding that “Christmas” is the only recognized holiday at this time of year.

    Lastly, God does not exist. I do not hate him. I hate his followers, or at least some of them.

    (Obama is a Christian. He may not be your specific brand of Christian, but he is a Christian.)