Christian Pastor: I’d Rather Experience Chinese Water Torture Than Listen to a Woman Argue With Me

I had no idea what to title this post because I had so many options.

Pastor Steven Anderson of the Faithful Word Baptist Church in Tempe, Arizona just gave the greatest sermon *ever* on the qualities of a “virtuous woman.” It’s offensive, misogynistic, hilarious… and it’s all on video.

Highlights are below! (Because I listened to the whole damn thing for you…)

18:18: Some women don’t even spend 40 hours a week taking care of their family! Their children and husband suffer!

19:38: Ladies, you can either do a good job of caring for the house or a poor job. That’s not me talking. That’s the Bible talking!

26:40: No woman should ever make you a bologna sandwich on Wonder Bread!

27:10: My wife spends hours cooking! Right, honey? Yeah! 2-3 hours a day! Good for her!

27:50: The Bible says cooking for your family is what you’re supposed to be doing! What else are you doing that’s so important, anyway? “Farmland”?! “Bejewel me”?! Facebook?!

29:00: You’re too busy to homeschool your kids? “I don’t even understand why you even have children if you’re gonna just drop ‘em off at the government school so they can be brainwashed to be a wicked, god-hating pervert. And I’m not saying that’s how they’re gonna turn out, but that’s the goal of that system, to make ‘em turn out that way!”

29:35: Public schools are run by Satan. Literally. Teachers and school board members are just little devils.

30:20: The purpose of having children is to glorify God, not so they can be raised by godless schools.

31:00: Women, are you too busy? You better be too busy cooking, because that’s what the Bible says you should be doing.

36:12: I didn’t let my wife have a TV when we got married. She didn’t know what to do with her time since we had no kids and she didn’t have a job. So I told her, “Just cook me three awesome meals a day. Just really hit it out of the park.”

37:30: I just wanted my wife to do something that mattered! Like cooking!

38:00: Sometimes, I’m out of town, and I call my wife, and I see that my wife isn’t in the kitchen because I’m looking through the video phone! And I ask my wife why she hasn’t been in the kitchen!

38:20: I really just want to give my wife a ton of freedom! Cook what you want!

42:30: I’ve noticed that people who find God become more intelligent. That’s why public schools are producing idiots.

44:15: Listening to women who talk back and argue with you is like experiencing Chinese water torture and Waterboarding. Given the choice, I’d rather experience Chinese Water Torture.

49:20: You see all these celebrity women and music stars who are “independent” and “I can do it all myself” types! That is not who I want my children emulating, because “I don’t want them to think that is what a woman should strive to be. The Bible says a woman should strive to have a meek and quiet spirit…”

53:05: A virtuous woman is one who has a plan! A plan for breakfast, a plan for lunch, a plan for dinner!

54:30: Women, don’t get mad if the washing machine doesn’t work! You used to be the washing machine! If it breaks, just deal with it.

55:10: The world may disagree with me, but fuck it. Don’t tell me I can’t say this stuff just because I can’t give birth. I’m a pastor!

You may also remember Pastor Anderson from the time he railed against National Geographic for publishing nude photos… because all nudity is pornographic.

About Hemant Mehta

Hemant Mehta is the chair of Foundation Beyond Belief and a high school math teacher in the suburbs of Chicago. He began writing the Friendly Atheist blog in 2006. His latest book is called The Young Atheist's Survival Guide.

  • Michael

    Is this for real? I know you are going to say it is, but I have such a hard time believing it. Man, what a loon. He must have some real issues. He should see a counselor… perhaps a female one at that.

  • SeekerLancer

    This isn’t real right? This guy should be medicated and his wife should be filing for protection from abuse.

    • Anonymous

      She’s happy with their set up. She has a blog and is just as kooky as him: http://stevenandersonfamily.blogspot.com/

      • Gus Snarp

        Just because she says she’s happy, doesn’t mean she’s not a victim.

        But wow, that blog. So she also seems to support the Burzynski clinic, is eating apricot kernels to prevent cancer, and is an anti-vaxxer. They’re like pure anti-skeptics. I guess we should just feel fortunate that they home school so fewer kids are exposed to her unvaccinated rats. We just have to avoid them on playgrounds (surely they don’t go to heathen places like science museums, so the kids are safe there). http://stevenandersonfamily.blogspot.com/search/label/medicine%20cabinet

        • onamission5

          Don’t apricot kernels contain… cyanide?

          • Guest

            An average of 1/2 milligram of cyanide per kernel.

          • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1610187357 Dwayne Albert Bearup

            onamission5 – Apricot kernels contain about 0.5 mg of cyanide per kernel.

        • niemzo

          The kids are the victims here, no need to insult them.

          • Gus Snarp

            What, you mean calling them rats? That’s not meant as an insult. I call my own kids rats. It’s kind of a common humorous reference to the amazing ability of children to spread disease when stuck together in confined places as they often are. There’s a new sign up on my son’s daycare classroom every other week telling me what disease he may have been exposed to. Just this year there’s been flu, stomach flu, strep, scarlet fever, some other thing spread by fecal matter that I can’t remember, and multiple instances of some of those.

            Of course, if you’re not vaccinating them, then they’re even more of a public health threat.

            • niemzo

              Thanks for explaining. My inexperience with english is probably showing here.

        • Mario Strada

          Yes, and now I have apricot kernels ads all over every website I visit because after reading her blog I decided to research their health effects. I found nothing that would convince me to start a similar regime. But the ads are still all over, including this blog now.

        • ecolt

          Wow.

          I went to her blog. The punctuation of the title was enough to make me not want to read any more.

          And I’m with Gus – I honestly think that if you refuse to get your kids vaccinated and won’t take full advantage of modern healthcare, you should be legally required to homeschool your spawn. I have three stepkids, and they come home with enough colds and stomach bugs as it is without us having to worry that they’ll be exposed to who knows what by families that think basic healthcare is immoral.

          • http://twitter.com/TKO_wens TKOwens

            How is it she’s allowed to blog? Isn’t that taking precious time away from the meal preparing time she owes her man?

        • PhuckYouee

          So you can make sure they get all the good stuff (like the adjuvants like aluminum, thimersol, polysorbate 80 and other KNOWN NEUROTOXIN chemicals directly assualting the the CNS… nice to know you have fraud science standing behind you because your just another slave to the system… eat shit and die faggot!

          • RobMcCune

            Meanwhile eat cyanide while keeping your precious bodily fluids uncontaminated, homophobic bigot.

            • PhuckYouee

              You cannot argue against the fact the the vaccines contain the above mentioned ingredients… and yet you fucktards still want toxic shit poisoning your kids because you in a nutshell are retarded beyond belief.. ROB EAT A FUCKING DICK AND DIE QUICK FAGGOT!

        • http://www.facebook.com/Whispurr Laura Polaco

          It looks like she’s a conspiracy nut too. She posted a video about “Why *they* sunk the titanic”.

  • Jeff

    Preacher says sexist things. Totally not surprised by that one. What surprises me is that he managed to fill an hour-long sermon (holy buckets, a whole hour on top of all the other boring stuff that goes on in church!) with nothing but variations on “get in the kitchen and make me a pie.”

    • icecreamassassin

      Yeah but this is a bit more over-the-top misogyny than typical I think. You can outright *feel* his hatred for an entire gender.,

      • jdm8

        That’s the part that bothers me. He is so openly intolerant of disagreement from a woman. He’s the authority and his authority isn’t to be questioned, least of all, from a woman.

        • http://www.flickr.com/photos/chidy/ chicago dyke

          “My penis isn’t small! nor Soft! it’s as hard as a gun, and shoots accurately! also, my wife is Satisfied. cause I totally have sex with her every night. Shaq’s got nothing on me. and that luggage carrier? he is NOT a rent boi. nosiree. that bitch wife of mine just needs to shut the hell up, at her jeebus flavored knitting club. because she talks too much.”

    • Ahab

      This sermon reminds me of a misogynist rant by IFB pastor Jack Schaap that made the rounds around the Internet. These guys have issues!!!

    • pRinzler

      “get in the kitchen and make me a pie.”

      Poof! You’re a pie.

  • http://twitter.com/docslacker MD

    I have the strongest urge to get on an airplane and visit this man. Just so I could argue the hell out of him.

    • Amy Dolphin

      bring Chinese water torturers with you, make him choose!

    • Todd

      His viewpoint isn’t grounded in respect, compassion, or reality, it is grounded in the Bible. So if you want to argue with him you would need to be arguing for a non-misogynistic Bible. Good luck with that……

      • http://twitter.com/docslacker MD

        Just the sound of a woman disagreeing with him sets him off. So I just have to stand there and throw such witticisms as: “Nu-uh” or “I know your are but what am I.” Or perhaps, “How do you even know that?”

        • nakedanthropologist

          I’d prefer the silent approach and kick him in the balls. Then we all get what we want! :-)

  • Nothing

    Wow! This pastor thing ascended directly from the Slyme Pit, didn’t it?

    • baal

      Unlikely. That’s one blog so their reach is limited. There are way too many churches where this isn’t unusual so I’d affix blame there or to the general culture.

  • Peasles

    His poor wife!

    • ScottK

      I can’t imagine what it’s like to be a person with dreams, friends, hobbies, interests…. and throw it all away to be the life support system for a douchebag.

      • Latraviata

        That is exactly what she did. He imported her from Germany.

    • Gus Snarp

      I feel bad for his wife, but at least she made a choice. His children, on the other hand, just had the misfortune to be born into his family and will likely suffer for it their whole lives. His daughters are being raised to be servants, and his sons to be douchebags. In all likelihood they will never experience a healthy, joyful sexual relationship with another person. But there is hope as long as there are libraries and the internet that one day they may be free.

      • Leigha7

        I don’t know how accurate it really is to say she made a choice. He makes it clear in the video that they got married shortly after they met and didn’t know much about one another, and it’s not uncommon for victims of abuse to sympathize with their abuser and even love them and believe they’re doing what’s best.

        True, she had much more of a say than their children did, but I don’t know if she’d have made the same choice if there hadn’t been some brainwashing involved at some point and in some manner.

  • Jen

    Really tough choice between laughing and just going right ahead and having a stroke.

    • Sunny Day

      Hey now, keep it clean! :)

      • Jen

        Hah! Now I have a much better idea of how to spend my afternoon…LOL!

  • Katie

    That poor man sounds hungry. That is just low blood sugar talking.

    • Jordan Sugarman

      Never get married on an empty stomach.

    • observer

      He can have a hearty bowl of hot-piping stfu.

      • http://www.flickr.com/photos/chidy/ chicago dyke

        i am chicago dyke and i approve of this message.

  • http://twitter.com/Reason_With_Me Reason With Me

    Is this real?

  • Jen

    Well, god created both the microwave and the Hungryman frozen dinner, so i’m really not sure what the problem is here….

    • icecreamassassin

      Lies! Hungryman frozen dinners were created by Satan. Literally.

      • Tainda

        How do they keep stuff frozen in hell?

        • HannibalBarca

          Hell’s all about making you miserable, so I suppose the people that like their thermostats turned up too high will have to spend eternity frolicking with penguins and polar bears as punishment. That’s where they keep the TV dinners.

        • Raising_Rlyeh

          According to dante the lowest circle of hell is ice.

          • Jen

            Sweet! Icecream and Hungryman dinners for everyone!!

          • WallofSleep

            OMG! Soylent Hungryman is made of betrayers!

            • wright1

              LMAO. Ahh, the classics :D

              Seriously, welcome to the age of transparency, Pastor Anderson. It may seem like a good thing to you that so many more folks are viewing your craziness, but most of them are outside your tiny TrueChristian bubble and laughing at you… at best.

  • Jen

    Well, god created both the microwave and the Hungryman frozen dinner, so i’m really not sure what the problem is here….

  • HannibalBarca

    Ugh. When my mom got remarried a couple years ago, she specifically asked the pastor to include the misogynistic “Wives, submit to your husbands” blah blah bullshit.
    He proceeded to praise her in the sermon following because “she knows her Bible better than most women.”
    The pastor is a very likeable guy, and obviously I love my mom to death, but it was a sickening little sideshow in an otherwise nice wedding.

    • pansies4me

      Sickening is right – ugh! I have watched two people in my hubby’s religious family get married with those awful lines. At his brother’s wedding I actually saw some of those in attendance nod their heads in agreement. I then almost laughed out loud as the young pastor who officiated tied himself into a pretzel trying to claim the words didn’t mean what they say, yet reminding all of us that hubby really is the head of the household. My husband looked at me like WTF? and gave my hand a big squeeze.

  • jonhanson

    His wife has a blog: http://www.stevenandersonfamily.blogspot.com/?m=1

    She seems to be as crazy as him, so I kind of want to say they’re a perfect match. Still, I do feel sorry for her and their 7 kids, especially the poor girls!

    • http://twitter.com/docslacker MD

      Yeah, I’m worried about this lady. She’s taking apricot kernels in larger amounts than what is considered safe. Because she thinks it prevents cancer. Ayayay.

    • Gus Snarp

      Click the “Medicine Cabinet” link on the blog: anti-vax, pro-Burzynski, “natural” remedies, eating apricot pits to prevent cancer….this family is the jackpot of nutbaggery.

      • PhuckYouee

        Just your your the poster child for conformity.. if it doesnt fit into a nice little conformed viewpoint of the world thats medically and politically sanitized for all parties… its null and void. Go back to riding the stupid bus , eat shit and die faggot!

        • RobMcCune

          You prefer to live in a fantasy world because it’s the only place you can consider yourself better and smarter than others. Quit trying to couch your rantings in self righteousness.

          • PhuckYouee

            Highly unlikely…. your too stupid to see your blind ignorance to anything that doesnt go against your pre-conceived notions of your willfull and sheepishly devotion to false idols such as “science”… Funny how so much of science is anything but especially anything coming from the pharma-sector who are such total beacons of truth…
            With people like you in this world…the world will be designed to fail… if hiding behind blatant lies, psuedoscience and mass conformity is what does it for ya … whatever… as my motto goes.. eat shit and die faggot Rob

            • Leigha7

              There is nothing more ironic than the phrase “your too stupid.”

              Since I assume you have no idea why that would be noteworthy, it’s you’re, as in “you are too stupid,” not “you have a too stupid that belongs to you,” which makes absolutely no sense.

              I will never tire of people who can’t even construct a proper sentence acting like they’re superior.

          • PhuckYouee

            EAT SHIT AND DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! TROLLZ UP IN THIS MUTHAFUCKAAA!

  • Wild Rumpus

    Hell of a guy, that loving Christian Pastor Stephen L. Anderson.

    MS: You want all gay people to be executed, correct?

    SA: That is correct. It is what the Bible teaches.

    MS: If somebody were to go out with a machine gun and spray down a crowd of gay and lesbian people, would you think that was okay?

    SA: , I would not think it’s okay because I believe in due process.

    MS: Would that person be a murderer?

    SA: No, I would not judge them as a murderer, no.

    http://www.signorile.com/2009/09/steven-l-anderson-killing-gays-is-not.html

  • WallofSleep

    “I really just want to give my wife a ton of freedom! Cook what you want!”

    That made me laugh much more than it should have. How very sad.

  • http://www.facebook.com/oz.tilson Oz Tilson

    I am watching it and am 2:30 in. He is defining “spoil” as in war and explaining how that was taking the defeated person’s things. No mention yet of spoil as being virgins.

  • http://www.facebook.com/dal.bryn Dal Bryn

    “Fuck it, I’m a Pastor” I want to see that on a t-shirt.

    • http://www.sunstonescafe.com/ Paul Sunstone

      I’d be much happier if we could be certain that his “fuck it” attitude was not meant to apply to the choir girls.

      • SylVegas

        Or the choir boys…

  • Tainda

    Wow!

    I had this all typed out and it didn’t post :( Gotta recreate now…

    I have this friend who is very conservative in a lot of ways and very not in some. Her husband is one of those psycho republicans who think the government is going to attack them at any time. He’s also a birther. Anyway, her stepson recently got married to a girl who was home schooled and she told my friend that she is shocked by how my friend talks back to her husband. I told her “All those home schooled conservative girls are taught that they are beneath men”

    My friend says “Her dad is VERY liberal.” I said “I doubt that very much” She says “He is. All liberals want their women to be meek and wait on men”

    I just kind of stared at her. The stuff that comes out of her mouth sometimes is amazing.

    • http://twitter.com/docslacker MD

      All liberals want meek women. Who get drive-through abortions. And abandon their families for a career. But you know, meek.

      • Tainda

        That’s why I LOVE liberal men, they keep me in my place!

    • Ibis3

      I had this all typed out and it didn’t post

      I’ve had that happen a couple of times on Patheos (I get a message saying I’m posting too often–an obvious glitch because usually it’s been hours since I posted a comment). The solution is to refresh that error page and resend the data (a pop-up comes up asking if you want to resend or cancel). Space out reattempts by a minute or so, & it eventually works.

      • Tainda

        I tried :( Didn’t work

    • Baby_Raptor

      I can’t recall ever having heard a Liberal express any such desire. My current boyfriend is a Liberal, and he would drop me in a heartbeat if I acted like that.

    • PhuckYouee

      The facts still remain the same… the requirements for presidental eligability which Obama clearly doesnt meet are pretty much black and white… too bad people have been so clearly and disgustingly brainwashed to the degree where upholding the rule of law, meeting out real justice for those deserving of it (such as pretty much all of Wall Street and the hijacking of the US economy through their leveraged bets (CDS,etc…)… with more people like you in the US this country is sure to fail since your a slave and proud of it… eat shit and die faggot!

      • RobMcCune

        Why is it when you people are confronted with conservatives being awful and stupid you just go on a tirade about Obama, does hating him make the reason and compassion go away? Do you feel more peaceful afterward?

      • Tainda

        “Eat shit and die faggot!”

        You’RE just a real winner, aren’t you?

  • http://squeakysoapbox.com/ Rich Wilson

    About 10 years ago my wife and I were shopping in a Publix in Atalanta, and she added a tube of (you know, the kind you ‘pop’ out of the tube and bake) biscuits to the basket. Some lady saw that and said “You don’t make him biscuits from scratch? Shame on you!”. It was said with a light hearted voice, but it didn’t come off as a joke either. My wife and I just looked at each other, shrugged, and went on with our shopping.

    • Leigha7

      The biscuits my grandmother made and the kind from a tube tasted completely different. I don’t mean they tasted like different recipes for the same food, I mean they tasted as different as Eggo waffles and Belgian waffles–and, just like those, neither was better or worse (I mean, okay, Belgian waffles are better than Eggo waffles, but Eggo waffles are pretty good in a completely different way). They were both good, just sometimes you want one and sometimes you want the other.

  • Raising_Rlyeh

    “Public schools are run by Satan. Literally. Teachers and school board members are just little devils.”

    Hemant is there something your telling us?

    In all serious this is just so far out there I can hardly believe it is real. The sheer volume of misogyny is just shocking. The relationship he has with his wife is clearly so abusive and she should leave him. It’s almost cult like the control he feels he deserves over women.

    • http://www.suburbansweetheart.com/ Suburban Sweetheart

      LITERALLY.

    • http://profiles.google.com/marc.k.mielke Marc Mielke

      Why should she leave him. There are any number of slow poisons and/or bodily fluids she could be putting in those meals which would be far more satisfying.

      • baal

        She should leave. He needs the lesson in self-care (auto-feeding?).

        Death penalty is a solution to misogyny? That’s a poor joke. I might have gone with ironic punishment like chaining the pastor to a stove and having him make food for a family of 6 for a few weeks.

      • latraviata

        She feeds him apricot kernels

  • Caroline

    Maybe he should have become a chef or something. He has such a strange obsession with cooking.

    How am I supposed to raise and homeschool the children and clean the house if I’m so busy constantly cooking? Plus the washer is broken and I have to do it all by hand? There are not enough hours in the day.

    • Pawel Samson

      I cook one meal a day and that alone takes me around 2 hours. His wife must not sleep at all!

  • http://www.suburbansweetheart.com/ Suburban Sweetheart

    I feel like his wife ought to be famous with a popular cookbook or 20 by now. She’s expected to have all these “plans” & incredible meals every day. Share the love, Mrs. Pastor Anderson!

    Wait… that’s probably not allowed, right? Well, damn.

    • latraviata

      She (like many meek women) is taking pictures of her food and posts them on her blog. Her food looks disgusting and she doesn’t understand that culinary photography is a real profession. Her food is in general all carbohydrates and very fat, but it is organic, so that makes it okay.

      • http://www.suburbansweetheart.com/ Suburban Sweetheart

        Umm… sorry, not on the same page here. Blogging is a thing, & hobbies are permitted. Welcome to the 21st century!

        • latraviata

          It must be my poor English which is not my first language. I was not criticising blogging or hobbies at all. I was criticising Zsu Anderson’s food and her urge to take pictures of her culinary creations and posts them on her blog to prove what a fantastic wife and cook she is.

          • http://www.suburbansweetheart.com/ Suburban Sweetheart

            Ah ha! Gotcha. Sorry my response was unnecessarily snarky. I tend to assume the worst of commenters on the Internet because so many are so rude. Thanks for the reminder to give people the benefit of the doubt more often. :)

            • latraviata

              It’s ok, it happens to all of us! Btw have you seen Zsu’s food?

  • http://www.facebook.com/cecelia.baines.5 Cecelia Baines

    what…the….fuck…..

    Somebody call up “Hanna-Barbara” and have them sure this fucker for royalities, because this asswipe of a dinosaur is channeling Fred Fucking Flintstone.

  • Birdie1986

    Yeah, I’m too busy bringing home a mid-six-figure salary, and doing fun, enriching things with my family in my spare time. My husband is very happy as a stay-at-home dad, and he spends more time taking care of my son than many “virtuous” women Spend with their children. I think we are setting a great example for our son. What a douchebag.

    • Sparky44

      Do you have a sister that makes as much money as you do? Does she want a stay at home husband?

    • nakedanthropologist

      You are an inspiration. I’m on the same game plan.

  • http://www.suburbansweetheart.com/ Suburban Sweetheart

    Also,. THIS FAMILY THINKS THE NEWTOWN SHOOTING WAS A HOAX. That should tell you all you need to know about them. Disgusting. http://www.stevenandersonfamily.blogspot.com/2013/01/someone-please-explain-this-to-me.html

    • anniewhoo

      That is one creepy blog. Those poor children.

    • Fred_the_dog

      Completely over the edge, they are.

  • John_in_Vegas

    Is anyone else’s gaydar going off? I have a headache…

  • Kacy

    The man is an evil mastermind! He realized at a young age that his ultimate goal in life was a private gourmet chef, but lacking both entrepreneurial savviness and wealthy connections, he knew he couldn’t accomplish this goal using the typical methods. “Hmmm…,” Anderson thought, “Is there another socially respectable way to have a private gourmet chef?” He thought about the people he knew and respected–the sorts of people who others trust and blindly follow–in short pastors.

    “I know! I will become a pastor and tell people that God wants me to have a private gourmet chef, but I will dress it up in Christian-ese and marry someone naive and indoctrinated enough to believe that this is God’s ultimate plan for women. I will preach this as my message, and those who follow my teachings will validate this plan and praise me (and my private gourmet chef) as holy and righteous”

    And Anderson did just that.

    • heather

      He is just emulating the men who wrote the bible in the first place…didn’t like being bested by a woman so tells everyone: “But God said!”

  • http://www.sunstonescafe.com/ Paul Sunstone

    Wasn’t it Voltaire who said, “I’ve only prayed once — that God make my enemies stupid — and this He has granted me.”

  • aoscott

    Sounds like a guy that couldn’t handle all the girls making fun of his itsy-bitsy-teenie-tiny-weenie!

  • http://profiles.google.com/5up.mushroom 5up Mushroom

    Preserved for all eternity as a meme.

    • http://profiles.google.com/5up.mushroom 5up Mushroom

      What a lovely guy he is, and what a lucky lady his wife is.

    • http://twitter.com/TKO_wens TKOwens

      awesome! let’s plaster his insanity all over the interwebs. I expect FOX is dying to get him on the air, if they haven’t already

  • jose

    I actually feel sorry for this shithead.

  • http://twitter.com/ylaenna M. Elaine

    Oh gawd, someone please tell me this man is trolling. Can’t tell if brilliant or braindead. Also, he kinda looks and sounds like Matthew Fox. And I can’t believe Hemant listened to the whole thing. O_O

  • Haha USA

    Religion doesn’t need atheist activists to undermine it. This guy is doing a stunning job for us.

    • wright1

      Bang on target. From the Vatican to this poor schmuck; they’re so far behind the times I feel a little sorry for them. Then I remember the harm they and theirs have done and stop.

  • Jasper

    “That’s not me talking. That’s the Bible talking!”

    The #1 use of the Bible is being a bastard by proxy. It’d be like having a friend write “women are dumb” on a piece of paper, and then telling some woman that she’s stupid “but hey, that’s not me talking, that’s just what this piece of paper says!”

  • vampfan30

    oh, crap…I think I went to church with this guy years ago…

  • Jordan Sugarman

    If I didn’t know the context of those statements, I would probably assume this was a stand-up comedy routine.

  • JackieTrinity

    What? I didn’t really hear a word that guy was saying because I was too busy trying to imagine him naked. I’m serious, is it just me or is that dude total eye-candy?

    • Mario Strada

      I am not gay, but I can tell he is a handsome man. So I can try flipping the coin and imagine that he turned into an equally beautiful woman. After doing that, I still would not be able to think of her (him) as a object of sexual desire. He disgusts me and if he were some hot mama she would still disgust me.

  • LesterBallard

    How about “Same Shit, Different Day”.

  • http://www.facebook.com/cecelia.baines.5 Cecelia Baines

    We need to pitch this as a reality TV show. We can get Cosby to be the host and call the show, “Pastor’s Say the Darndest Things”. Each week we will have a set of three different pastors/shamans/medicine men/witch doctors who up and say really dumb shit. Cosby will mug it up for the camera and everyone sits back and enjoys some home popped corn and hi-jinx and whacky shenanigans.

  • Gus Snarp

    I notice he’s from Arizona. Between this guy and Sheriff Joe Arpaio, I’m beginning to think Arizona is giving Texas a run for its money. This is why I favor opening the border with Mexico. A nice flood of immigrants who will never vote the way these guys want them to, and much as I dislike Catholicism, at least they’re not this guy.

    • http://gamesgirlsgods.blogspot.com/ Feminerd

      Hey! Most Texans I know (admittedly, I live in one of the major cities so it’s a lot less crazy in a lot of ways) look down on Arizona especially on immigration issues. I think it’s because Hispanic immigrants (both legal and illegal) are such a major part of the economy and are fairly well integrated into a lot of Texas.

      They also look down on Arkansas, Kansas, and Missouri, if anyone’s curious.

    • RobMcCune

      speaking of Mexico, this guy might have gotten beat up while resisting a search at the border.

  • TiltedHorizon

    I remember this guy, he was beaten & tasered by boarder patrol back in 2009. Seems a drug sniffing dog took interest in the pastor’s car, boarder patrol tried to perform a search but Anderson’s “shining” personality did not win them over. Cosmic Justice?

    • The Other Weirdo

      That explains his obsession with food. Three fantastic meals a day! Excellent!

  • nakedanthropologist

    I would love to cook the good pastor a wonderful meal! For the first course, I plan to make a delightful Oleander-watercress soup, with crème fraiche and bacon. Next, a scrumptious roast that’s been marinated in red wine, herbs, and atropine. Finally, for desert I have a lovely bowl of fresh yew berries topped with a big ol’ helping of ‘go fuck yourself you worthless scumbag’. Mmmmm – tasty.

  • WoodrowJohnson

    Dude, have a Snickers. You get a little completely fucking insane when you’re hungry.

  • http://ripeningreason.com/ Bix

    I saw a video of this pastor adamantly insisting that Jesus wore pants, in direct contradiction to all evidence that men in ancient Judea wore tunics and robes, and in opposition to every artistic depiction of Jesus ever. No, it was extremely important that everyone knew that Jesus wore pants, because to suggest otherwise would be to say that Jesus was feminine, and being a woman is obviously The Worst Thing Ever. OK, buddy. But I don’t think pants are quite as cool as you think.

    • latraviata

      Not only that, he dedicated an entire sermon about men pissing against the wall, his message/doctrine is, that real men should piss standing up

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqLZKhJ1Zkk

      • http://squeakysoapbox.com/ Rich Wilson

        oh that guy! The one who said men in Europe sit down to pee, despite all evidence to the contrary…

        • latraviata

          That’s him, we (on another forum) call him PP as in pissing priest.

        • http://twitter.com/docslacker MD

          Sooo, when he travels he goes into bathrooms and sees men peeing. OK.

  • onamission5

    Can I have nexts with the brain bleach?

  • rlrose328

    I did not know that Satan’s minions were running the school boards! The ones I hear about most are the ones run by zealous Christians. If it was run by the Devil to groom perverts, you’d think we atheists wouldn’t be fighting them all the time.

    And the schools are raising idiots and religion breeds intelligence? ROFL! Seriously? LOL!! Somewhere, he got a tad turned around. Oh… A godly woman has knowledge of God and THAT is wisdom. Got it.

    I’m a fail wife… I’ve got my hubby cooking, my son does laundry and vacuums, we go to McDonalds once a week, and I clean the kitchen (and sometimes I pawn off the toilets on the kid as well. I guess I’d better stay out of his church or I’ll be stoned.

    • http://www.flickr.com/photos/chidy/ chicago dyke

      my next door neighbor is a xtian woman, very conservative. her husband is “on disability” that evil gummint program she hates. he cooks (poorly) and raises their child.

      but those darn welfare (black) queens! she’s really upset about them. they are draining our Essence, or something.

  • observer

    “The purpose of having children is to glorify God”

    What a freak.

    “I’m a pastor!”

    Hear him whine.

    If I didn’t know any better, I’d say this…person is just going off on a mad rant to prove he’s really a “man” – despite the small penis.

    • Lori F

      If the men in the congregation said Amen, I’d be saying Asshole.
      And I admire anyone who had the stomach to listen to the whole thing

  • http://www.facebook.com/don.gwinn Don Gwinn

    I’m sitting here trying to imagine being a woman in that audience, sitting there quietly listening to this guy rail at me for an hour. What were they actually thinking behind quiet faces?

  • John

    What is it with this guy and food?

  • Carmelita Spats

    Socially acceptable mental illness is often cloaked in religiosity under the descriptor “I-Am-A-Pastor”. He needs counseling. If I made fun of him, it would be like chuckling at a meth addict. He truly needs medication and cognitive therapy. A terrifying realization is that people with such an obvious need for help often don’t get the medical attention they require to function in society as healthy adults because their religious community disparages the notion of “mental health”. However, they allow people this sick to “counsel” others as part of “Christian counseling” or “pastoral counseling”. Oh. My. Science.

  • Mario Strada

    I visited this guy wife’s blog and I learned that she is a conspiracy theory nut and he likes to bother border patrol officers by telling them that he is a Israeli Citizen because it says so in the Bible.

    They are also into health food. Trendy health food from what I gather, so after I visited her blog, now my websites are littered with ads for Apricot pits and similar healthy foods.

    They are both incredibly obnoxious human beings.

    • PhuckYouee

      Go back to eating your Frankenfood, injecting your kids with thimersol and aluminum adjuvant laced vaccines and in general being just another DFA bitch azz muthafucka… EAT SHIT AND DIE !!!

    • latraviata

      Once I had a conversation with his wife and after she wrote something very ignorant about kidney infections, I urged her,since she has no medical training whatsoever to stop givig medical advice to her vassals. My younger son (28) died of a kidney desease three years ago. She couldn’t understand why I mourn my son, because to me, as an atheist, my son coudn’t have been more than a bunch of molecular cells. So obnoxious is a bit of an understatement.

  • ruth

    He said the “f” word!

  • Baby_Raptor

    Call his bullshit. Set his little situation up and see if he really does choose to be tortured. Because I’m willing to lay money that he won’t, he’s just trying to seem like a super-macho penis owner.

  • NG

    Oh look, he’s overwhelmed by having a penis! An innie penis, apparently… As Ralph Garman has said, get that penis a sandwich.

  • ImRike

    If I would have read these highlights before reading your comments, I would have thought this was a comedian, making fun of religion!

  • roberthughmclean

    The Laundry! What about the laundry?

  • 7Footpiper

    From his blog, “My husband is a very busy man who pastors what I consider to be the greatest church in the world, and also runs a fire alarm business to support our ever-growing family.”

    Why a fire alarm business, hedging our bets?

  • devil

    Has anyone been to the comments of the video on youtube? I believe he is trying to defend Deuteronomy
    22:28-29 NLT saying that it is suppose to be consensual in this translation, ” If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found;” Instead of the translation that says, ” If a man is caught in the act of raping a young
    woman who is not engaged, he must pay fifty pieces of silver to her father.”

  • jcm

    i don’t think the man is really a pastor. Bible believing pastors do not say those things because they are not according to the Bible. if he is, he is mislead or just ignorant or presumptuous.

    • http://twitter.com/docslacker MD

      Aaah, is he not a True Christian ™ then? He probably thinks YOU are not a True Christian.

  • pparf

    How many people are sitting through this guy standing up there talking like that for an hour and thinking that they need to learn from him about how to live their lives? If it’s more than zero, it’s way the hell too high. I’d like to think that he set up a camera and filmed himself in an empty room with that nondescript background. Sadly, that’s not the case, is it?

    • Devil

      Going off the guy who swaps off the pulpit and some audience response this would seem to sadly not be the case. This is horse shit.

  • michael both

    Most of those comments would not sound out of place, sadly on, the ‘My life is bro’ site (google it, you’ll see what I mean).

  • http://www.facebook.com/neil.robinson.75436 Neil Robinson

    I’m not defending this asshole but I don’t hear him saying ‘fuck it’ at 55.10 or anywhere round there. Maybe that’s because I’m listening from the kitchen.

  • Ellie

    I question the sanity of this mans wife.

  • Mags

    I just ate the bread of idleness for an hour by watching this video.

  • ecolt

    I made it through less than a minute before I had to turn it off because I was feeling ill.

    One minute after that, my boyfriend brought me a cup of tea and asked if I wanted him to make me anything for lunch.

    I’m thinking my life is a whole lot better than Pastor Anderson’s wife’s.

  • Sue Blue

    If this guy were to throw into his screed some tidbits about women not driving, voting, or going out of the house without a male chaperone, he’d be right in line with the Saudi Wahabbis. Maybe he should move there before his wife decides to get out of the kitchen slave and child-production business by dumping a steaming hot meal right into his lap.

  • http://twitter.com/TKO_wens TKOwens

    Oh noes! How dare I be away from my kitchen, possibly reading and learning? Later all–apparently there’s a bundt pan missing me.

  • http://obbop.wordpress.com/ obbop

    The spewing guy is a semi-nutcase as well as the majority of modern well-brainwashed dizzy, daffy dames.

    Thus sayeth I.

  • Sue Blue

    So, can this paragon of masculine privilege do anything but tell women what to do with their time? Can he prove his scrotally-based superiority? Can he fix the car? The dishwasher? Mow a lawn? Clean out the sink trap? Does he know a ball peen hammer from a crescent wrench? I mean, come on! Let’s hear what manly man things this hairy-chested testosterone fountain does! Let’s hear some grunting and see some chest-beating! Any limp-wristed panty-waist dimbulb can stand at a pulpit and flap their lips.

  • TicklishMeerkat

    Sounds like his wife’s the one experiencing the torture. I feel so horrible for the poor woman.

  • Anthony

    This has to be satire. No real misogynist could possibly be this silly and childish. I mean he filled an entire hour with nothing but “get in the kitchen” and “make me a sandwich” jokes. This is just some bizarre, tasteless stand up comedy routine, right?

  • http://www.facebook.com/AnonymousBoy Larry Meredith

    If you think he’s crazy now, just wait until the inevitable divorce after he finds out she’s been reading and learning when he’s out of the house.

  • http://www.facebook.com/daniel.bastian1 Daniel Bastian

    The only thing more depressing than this pastor’s misogynistic drivel is that a full auditorium is willingly berthed by a congregation intent on hearing it. And of course he justifies this overt misogyny with, you guessed it: the Bible, that ever-timeless proxy for all manner of unpalatable attitudes and ideas. How convenient, indeed, to hurdle reasoned discussion by pointing to a book and saying, “Don’t shoot the messenger. See, it’s all in here!”

    He sermonizes for a full hour to essentially tell women to “get in the kitchen and don’t talk back to men”.

    Among the so very many problems with using a two-thousand year old text as a model for half of the human population is that gendering is fundamentally at odds with the conception of human freedom. Does a woman not have dreams, hobbies, interests, some of which may exist outside of narrow gender typification and the pursuit of which is an inalienable right? Are women to suppress their own wants and desires and fall back on a “BCE” way of life, or hew to the desires of a specific segment of society, any more than the other gender should? Should women subordinate her freedoms and the warm embrace of life to the delusions of strict complementarians? Who is bold enough to deny imprescriptible privilege to his neighbor?

    It is no wonder the founding fathers made no mention of the Bible in the Constitution. A secular Constitution is phenomenally superior to one based on ANE literature and, more importantly, is the only way to keep clerical cave dwellers like this at bay. We have transcended the ethics and norms of the Bible, and to follow its strictures literally is to court oppression.

    Human aspiration is not something that can be regulated to conform to the wishes of others, to stereotype or to parochial theology; it transcends culture and gender and is only quelled by fundamentalism. We have fought long and hard to vanquish these toxic trespasses on liberty, where, today, equality is becoming less a dream than a reality. Such accroachments and regress must be fought tooth and nail. What I find most disturbing is how a woman with the good fortune of living in a multivalent, polycultural society like that of 2013 America can sit under this leadership without all her sensibilities being offended – moral, ethical, empathic, rational.

    Put me in a room with this guy for 30 minutes and I can guarantee he’d leave feeling ashamed and “repentant”.

    • Amber Barnes

      The problem is is that you assume that this particular vein of religion considers women human beings. Keep in mind that this is the same religion that debated if women even had souls a few hundred years ago.

  • Hypatia’s Daughter

    It seems the good pastor has overlooked the ONLY passage in the Bible that actually describes a wife’s role. Proverbs 31:10-31 It seems to describe a working woman who speaks with wisdom. GASP!!. She also has servants to help with the household.

    10A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. 11Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. 12She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. 13She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. 14She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. 15She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. 16She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. 17She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. 18She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. 19In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. 20She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. 21When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. 22She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. 23Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. 24She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. 25She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. 26She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. 27She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. 28Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 29“Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” 30Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. 31Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

  • The Other Weirdo

    It’s offensive, misogynistic, hilarious… and it’s all on video.

    So, it’s Andrew Dice Clay, only with an audience?

    26:40: No woman should ever make you a bologna sandwich on Wonder Bread!

    He’s absolutely right there. Everybody should be able to get off their fat asses and make themselves a bologna sandwich on Wonder Bread, or on rye bread, or on any sort of bread. Because, what, if the woman isn’t around, you’re gonna starve? The woman should fetch the beer, though, and present it all open-like.

    37:30: I just wanted my wife to do something that mattered! Like cooking!

    Damn straight, skippy! And if the woman can’t even boil water without burning it, why, then it’s our Bible-given right to stone her with stones.

    I gotta say that this is the most hilarious thing I’ve read in a long while.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Gretchen-DeKok/100000174099947 Gretchen DeKok

    If I was at this idiot’s “church” I’d be standing up, chewing this jerk out, and walking out.

  • Rab Simpson

    “55:10: The world may disagree with me, but fuck it. Don’t tell me I can’t say this stuff just because I can’t give birth. I’m a pastor!”

    Belief in fairies isn’t a license to spout hateful, backwards, fucking nonsense which puts down half of humanity.

    I really hope your mother is ashamed of you, but chances are she’s just as brainwashed as you are.

    (I know the prick won’t read this, but I had to say it somewhere.)

  • Cambria

    Sick douche lol… Watch Women succeed and we’ll laugh as you fall, you idiot filth…Suck it hard moron

  • http://www.facebook.com/TharosTheDragon Kyle Delaney

    Since he’s married, I’m inclined to ask “Who’s the bigger idiot, the idiot, or the idiot who marries the idiot?”

    The joke is that he has the love of a woman and I don’t. What’s the moral of the story here?

    • Amber Barnes

      Quality over quantity, my friend.

      • http://www.facebook.com/TharosTheDragon Kyle Delaney

        How can you have quality when your quantity is zero?

        • Amber Barnes

          Would the love of a fool be worth it when that fool inevitably makes you miserable?

          • http://www.facebook.com/TharosTheDragon Kyle Delaney

            I don’t think his wife is making him miserable.

          • http://www.facebook.com/TharosTheDragon Kyle Delaney

            I don’t think his wife makes him miserable.

  • Iejgroigj Okjgoir

    Nowhere did this Pastor drop the “F” bomb at 55:10. If anyone added anything to this man’s Sermon YOU DID by dropping the “F” bomb in this blog!

    • http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/ Hemant Mehta

      I didn’t say he did. His words are in quotation marks. My commentary is not.

  • FishMonakey

    WOW what a fucktard so I’m supposed to be my husbands bitch and my children’s slave and have no thoughts or feelings of my own. This is one of the reason I stopped being a Christian it’s a religion that seems to hate women.

  • BobSmith77

    So basically wants a full-time domestic servant/probably slave who does all of the domestic work and does whatever he says without reservation.

    I can’t imagine what he would have to say about bedroom practices or even more troubling issues like domestic abuse.

  • BobSmith77

    Sadly if you would conduct polls, I bet you that everyone where from 10-20% of Americans (and alot more in the Bible Belt) share viewpoints that are pretty similar to this guy.

    The funny thing is how he just throws about completely random ‘facts’ which in most cases are generally off-base or completely wrong. Maybe if he actually picked up a book besides the Bible he actually would be a bit more knowledgeable. Hell, maybe even a few theological books besides a King James Bible.

    What I don’t get is how is ranting about sloth and idle behavior is directed almost entirely at women with such vindictive language.

  • Deep cleansing breath

    So she is to stay in the kitchen and homeschool the children? Precisely how is she to educate her children if she herself has an incomplete education? I knew many a homeschooled kid through various civic youth orchestras growing up (homeschoolers love civic youth orchestras) that had alarming crater size holes in their general knowledge. Probably because the “teacher” in charge of their education didn’t know the material themselves let alone how to present it.

    • Amber Barnes

      Its a weird paradox, but in most cases, the mother teaches general knowledge like reading and basic math, though some try to modernize with more varied subjects like science, music, art, all of which are still taught from approved materials (i.e. science textbooks that teach the Earth is 6,000 years old, evolution is false, etc). To the girls she teaches home making and general husband-pleasing skills and the older girls are saddled with the care of the younger children to give them “experience”. The boys, once they reach an age, are apprenticed out to the father or to men from families of the same church/spiritual community where they learn work skills. So the mother only needs the most rudimentary of knowledge in this system.

      Also, these kinds of communities take pride in those gaping holes in their knowledge. Lacking basic know-how of the modern world is considered a sign of purity, being free from the taint of the evil, liberal, godless, doomed society and embracing “godliness” instead.

  • http://www.facebook.com/elljawa Alexander Szatkowski

    is it wrong my biggest issue is that I love bologna on wonder bread?

  • Guy Who Sees Through The BS

    They must have deleted the part where this dirtbag says, “My hero is Warren Jeffs.”

  • jacki

    So apparently his wife is from Germany

    http://sanderson1611.blogspot.com/

  • mongus

    Next time put some more accurate quotes in your slammin’ salmon. The biggest douche in the room is actually the author, big surprise.

  • Meisme

    And the winner of the complete a$$face award goes to…

    feel free to tell him so @ https://www.facebook.com/sanderson1611

  • alex.a

    Since he appears to be dickless does this means his wife can find another man that can?

  • alegrenaje

    Wait.
    Did this pastor /actually/ say ‘f-ck’ in front of an entire audience of evangelicals?
    Why have they not taken his tongue from his lecherous mouth!?

    edit: Well don’t I feel dumb.


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