A Brief Summary of History Channel’s ‘The Bible’… Continued

Dusty picks up where he left off, now summarizing parts 3 and 4 of History Channel’s “The Bible”:

(via Cult of Dusty)

About Hemant Mehta

Hemant Mehta is the editor of Friendly Atheist, appears on the Atheist Voice channel on YouTube, and co-hosts the uniquely-named Friendly Atheist Podcast. You can read much more about him here.

  • PietPuk

    I love this sh1t n’ stuff!

  • Cody

    This guy is great! I’ve been waiting for an Atheist’s response to this series.

  • Atheist Di va

    This guy is really annoying. I’ll make sure to avoid him in the future.

  • http://www.facebook.com/travis.myers.102977 Travis Myers

    “I don’t even want this bag of dicks!” Lol.

  • Gus Snarp

    “He literally gives him a bag of dicks!”

  • busterggi

    Good thing the Phillistines hadn’t invented arrows so they could have simply shot Samson or David to death…oh, right, they had arrows but that would have made sense.

  • Gus Snarp

    So aside from being based on the worst story ever and full of racist casting, is this movie as horrible as it looks from the clips? And are people actually watching it? This is a new low for the History Channel, and that’s saying something.

    But maybe even without the judicious editing and sarcastic commentary the mini-series actually will show people how horribly evil the God of the Bible is and we’ll get the converts from this. Otherwise, an extraordinary number of hours have been wasted by people watching this drivel.

  • Gus Snarp

    Really, why is God always murdering babies? And how do fundies and Catholics get the idea that God thinks blastocysts are the most important things on earth when he clearly thinks babies and children are just possessions to be taken from men as punishment? And forget about the mother, I mean David kills off a woman’s husband, forces her to marry him and have his baby, and hey, let’s punish David by taking away maybe the one thing making his victim happy….

  • Claude

    I am worn out laughing. Even though this guy is a little over the top.

  • Vukota

    Best atheist vlogger on Youtube. He deserves to be way more popular than he is (or at least far more than the “Amazing” Atheist).

  • Reginald Selkirk

    Or iron chariots…

  • Claude

    My guess is they would say that mere sinners have no right to assume the role of “God,” by whom I guess they mean Yahweh-Jesus-Holy Spirit. And how did the bloodthirsty tyrant Yahweh become the all compassionate, ever-loving and merciful God of modern Christianity? Though apparently he still enjoys playing war games.

  • Ian Reide


  • grindstone

    Based on the response at my in-laws this weekend when the promo came on, yes they’re watching; some are recording it. I wish I could just show them Dusty’s commentaries instead of quietly face-palming in a corner, but there you go.

  • baal

    Wth why doesn’t god just blink them into the city and be done with it?

    Well, it’s not much of a magic spell nor fun story telling to go poof. Same reason all the villains gloat in the James Bond movies. If they just slit his throat after they gas him, it’d be a quick movie.

  • trj

    God – moral, just, loving, and slayer of infants since 2500 BC.

  • http://gamesgirlsgods.blogspot.com/ Feminerd

    Well, what is the biggest change between the Old Testament and the New Testament?

    God got laid.

  • Stonyground

    Thanks for this link, I found it very entertaining. I have often thought that an atheist billboard campaign encouraging everyone to read the Bible from end to end, would be a really good idea. If only Christians would actually read this tripe, the world would be a better place. I have to say that this stuff appears to be very well produced, if it reaches a wide audience I think that that is a good thing.

  • Octoberfurst

    Nobody explains the Bible better than Dusty! :-)

  • drakvl

    I haven’t seen anyone talking much about the anti-science streak in the miniseries. At least, I can think of no other reason that they would have a scene depicting Pontius Pilate receiving leech therapy.

  • Jennifer

    Excellent observations and pants wetting funny commentary. Hilarious! Rotflmao!

  • Carmelita Spats

    Dr. Yahweh is a licensed OB/GYN…In the book of Numbers, Yahweh-the-Yahoo comes up with a wickedly delightful abortifacient to be applied to women who are suspected of adultery. This is the first “morning after pill”. You need the following as per Yahweh’s detailed instructions in the Book of Numbers (Numbers 5:11-31): a hairy priest, a clay jar, dust from the tabernacle floor, holy water, loose hair, a grain offering for jealousy (????), and a scroll full of curses (????). The woman drinks the icky water and if she’s guilty of adultery, her belly swells and she MISCARRIES. If the woman is innocent, she will be cleared of all guilt and be able to have children. This was probably a Bronze Age late term abortion because the woman was brought to the priest when the pregnancy became obvious. You can’t try this abortifacient at home as Dr. Yahweh owns the patent.

    Source: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Numbers+5%3A11-31&version=NIV


    It confirms what I’ve felt for a long time……the Bible is a strange place to go in search of morality.

  • KMR

    The real serious “I’m going to remain virgins till the day I marry” fundamentalists do read the Bible end to end multiple times. It’s another trophy to hold up in church. However, those folks also don’t normally have a lot of critical thinking skills so most of the really bad stuff go over their heads or they easily accept the crappy answer to it given by their church leadership. Some however, do turn liberal and those folks are normally rather nice in how they treat others so sometimes good comes from it.
    That being said although I’m not watching this show and my only exposure to it has been this video, I actually started crying at the whole Jericho scene. I know this guy was supposed to be making it funny, but crud was it still horrible to think about. Maybe that’s because I’m pretty familiar with the Bible though so I know the whole story. The visual just brought it home. I wonder if the people watching the mini-series for real actually thought about it.

  • Rwlawoffice

    Actually it is getting record ratings for cable. Approximately 12-13 million per episode