Texas High School Holds Assembly Featuring Misogynistic Christian Speaker, So Students Complain on Twitter

What were administrators at Richardson High School thinking?

Yesterday, the Dallas, Texas-based school brought in motivational speaker Justin Lookadoo to speak to the students. His topic? Well, let’s just say his website reminds us that he’s a self-proclaimed expert in telling girls and boys how to become “dateable”… which really means being straight, Christian, and just like him:

So how do we become more dateable?

Check out some of his advice for girls:

  • You are soft, you are gentle, you are a woman. Don’t try to be a guy. Guys like you because you are different from them. So let your girly-ness soar.”
  • Dateable girls know how to shut up. They don’t monopolize the conversation.”
  • “God made guys as leaders. Dateable girls get that and let him do guy things, get a door, open a ketchup bottle. They relax and let guys be guys. Which means they don’t ask him out!!!

His advice for guys isn’t any better:

  • Dateable guys know they aren’t as sensitive as girls and that’s okay… Dateable guys are real men who aren’t afraid to be guys.”
  • “Dateable guys aren’t tamed. They don’t live by the rules of the opposite sex.”
  • Dateable guys know that porn is bad for the spirit and the mind. They keep women covered up.”

Great. A man who graduated from Mark Driscoll‘s Charm School.

Seriously: What the hell were the administrators thinking when they brought him in to speak to students?! (Answer: They weren’t.)

The assembly was “optional” but only after parents complained about it and in name only (some students are saying they were never told they had a choice of attending). But think about that: Even after parents and students raised their concerns to school officials, they allowed the assembly to go on as planned!

Oh, by the way, here’s a page from Lookadoo’s book:

Because when a guy treats a girl like shit, it’s her fault.

Here’s the best part of the whole debacle, though: The students who had to listen to this awful-excuse-for-a-dating-guru made the most of the situation… in a childish way that’s nonetheless hilarious. They began talking about the assemblies using the hashtag #Lookadouche:





Oh, by the way, Lookadoo once spoke at a summer camp affiliated with Exodus International, better known as the “Pray the Gay Away” group.

By the end of the day, the district had offered a half-assed apology:

RHS and RISD approve of the broad messages shared with students related to self-empowerment and dating violence, but do not support some of the terminology used by the speaker to generalize student behaviors.

That’s it. No “we’re sorry.” No “we’ll never bring him back.” No “What the hell were we smoking?” Nothing.

Oh, by the way, here’s some more of Lookadoo’s brilliant advice for girls:

Dress for your body. Get clothes that work with what you’ve got. But know that if you go too tight, too short, or too low-cut, you are no longer a person to get to know but an object to use.

Yeah, why attend math class when you can go listen to the musings of a rape-apologist?

Here’s what I would still like to know: Who paid for Lookadoo to speak at the school? The district? A private donor? (The PTA may have invited him, but who approved that decision?) How do you not do a more thorough background check into a speaker before telling your students they should skip class to go listen to him? Whoever green-lighted him coming here either did shoddy research beforehand or has awful judgment. In either case, that person needs to be outed and punished.

District officials said Lookadoo spoke to the school in 2009 and no one complained then, as if that’s an excuse to be let off the hook now. If the students didn’t take their message to Twitter yesterday, their complaints may have gone unnoticed this time, too. So hats off to them. They did the right thing by airing the school’s mistake and showed more maturity and wisdom then the speaker who was brought in to enlighten them.

Here’s an idea: Get the administrators at that school to sit for a mandatory assembly run by the students who complained about Lookadoo. Maybe they would finally learn something.

About Hemant Mehta

Hemant Mehta is the chair of Foundation Beyond Belief and a high school math teacher in the suburbs of Chicago. He began writing the Friendly Atheist blog in 2006. His latest book is called The Young Atheist's Survival Guide.

  • http://www.dogmabytes.com/ C Peterson

    Seriously: What the hell were the administrators thinking when they brought him in to speak to students?! (Answer: They weren’t.)

    Answer: they were thinking precisely the way too many Texans in positions of political power think. It’s too easy to justify this as a lack of thinking. Far more insidious, I think, is the likelihood that it was the product of wrong thinking.

    • Jasper

      After all, the Christian theology promotes the idea of asking forgiveness for stealing the bike, instead of just not stealing the bike in the first place.

      • Pitabred

        Isn’t that an Emo Philips bit?

    • Jeff

      Not quite right there Mr. Peterson. Most Texans in positions of political power NEVER think they are wrong. They think it’s the rest of us that are wrong, and the rest of us are going to hell, so why bother with them.

      • http://www.dogmabytes.com/ C Peterson

        It’s because of wrong thinking that they never think they are wrong.

        • Timothy McLean

          That’s the good kind of near-tautology: The kind that isn’t stupid.

          That sounded better (and less stupid-tautology-ey) in my head.

    • Pitabred

      They’re just doing what’s best for the children! FOR THE CHILDREN! WE CAN DO ANYTHING AS LONG AS WE EXCUSE IT AS FOR THE CHILDREN!!!

      *ahem* sorry, there. Got all caught up in the Holy Spirit, telling me to do things that are only justifiable if you think Bronze-age goat herders had complete enlightenment, and it’s all been downhill since then.

  • Art_Vandelay

    Let’s leave some ridicule for the Hayley DiMarco decision too. Author of such books as God Girl: Becoming the Woman You’re Meant to Be, Marriable: Taking the Desperate Out of Dating, Sexy Girls: How Hot Is Too Hot?, Technical Virgin: How Far Is Too Far?, and The Fruitful Wife: Cultivating a Love Only God Can Produce.

    Jesus.

    (Also, I was totally gonna go for the low hanging fruit “More like Lookadouche, amirite?” joke before I got to the Twitter part. I’m, not proud.)

    • MarkTemporis

      Technical Virgin? If she actually encouraged the whole fuck-me-in-the-ass-for-Jesus thing, megaprops for trolling the Texas DOE hard! Somehow I don’t think so.

      • Pitabred

        Hands don’t count?

  • Mick

    Whoever green-lighted him coming here … needs to
    be outed and punished.

    Don’t hold your breath. They will have their tracks well and truly covered.

    • newavocation

      Yes, short of violence, it seems Xians know they can do just about anything and the consequences are generally a slap on the hand or nothing at all.

  • http://www.holytape.etsy.com Holytape

    As a man I know I am supposed to treat people exactly like how they dress. So if a woman dress like a fresh buffet (sneeze guard and all) I know that I should treat her like a fine caesar salad and unlimited crab legs. If a man dresses like a 78 ford pinto, I know that I should kick him in the shins and use a lot of swear words while describing how I am now going to be late for prom, and Susie will dump me for Randy, damn that Randy. Sorry I digress. Back to the subject at hand. When I look at Justin Lookadoo, I am confused. How exactly does one treat the love child of Stephen Baldwin and a porcupine that has sniffed too much bleach?

    • Julie Hurley

      Best comment I’ve read in a month. Thank your sir/madam.

    • fenaray

      Too funny!

    • Kellen Connor

      All of the up-votes for you, sir.

    • WallofSleep

      ” How exactly does one treat the love child of Stephen Baldwin and a porcupine that has sniffed too much bleach?”

      I haven’t a clue, but Odin’s Beard! There should have been a NSFW tag for that pic. Damn.

      • badphairy

        NSFL = Not Safe For Lunch

        • allein

          There is a site I’m a member of which has it’s own definition for NSFL – the L stands for a certain forum member who is easily horrified. :b

          • badphairy

            Giggling like a leetle gurl.

    • Carmenalex

      You win the internet.

    • sam

      When I look at his hair, I see a scouring pad. When I look at his face, I see toilet paper. Are those appropriate functions for this tool?

      • Pepe

        Disqus is having problems. I thought you were someone else when I commented on your name. ‘doh.

    • aoscott

      This is amazing

    • Jessica Suave

      ” How exactly does one treat the love child of Stephen Baldwin and a porcupine that has sniffed too much bleach?”

      OH yeah I’m stealing that lol!

    • LeftyFPB

      “How exactly does one treat the love child of Stephen Baldwin and a porcupine that has sniffed too much bleach?”

      I could use a new toilet brush. The bleach would help tremendously.

    • allein

      I thought more hedgehog than porcupine…

      • badphairy

        SPLITTER!

    • Sapphire Possible

      Brilliant!

  • SurlyJen

    The sad part is that many of the faculty probably agree with and think the same way Lookadouce and God Girl do… Maybe that’s why their not-pology sucked so hard, and why they invited the duo to the school in the first place. Ick, I need a shower.

  • David McNerney

    I did the test on the website. Bad move.

    As a boy I’m skirting dangerously close to something.

    As a girl I’m dateless. :’-(

    • allein

      As a girl I’m dateless (which is true enough these days but I would argue the reasons are not what he thinks). If I was a boy I’d be “da’ man”…

  • cyb pauli

    “Dateable guys know they aren’t as sensitive as girls and that’s okay… Dateable guys are real men who aren’t afraid to be guys.”

    On behalf of every sensitive guy Ive ever kissed and loved, on behalf of every sensitive guy ever… Fuck you dude. Fuck you and your lame standards of masculinity. Fuck you and your bad hairstyle. Fuck you and your rape-apologism. Nobody wants your ass-wipe advice.

  • bananafaced

    After reading some of the students’ comments it looks like they ‘were not impressed’ with the entire presentation. Oh well, IT IS TEXAS after all. That’s why I moved away after graduation.

  • invivoMark

    Wait, people are getting a lecture from that… thing… in the picture about being dateable?

    And what the hell? I would love to date a woman who is assertive, independent, talkative, and un-girly. And how is asking a guy out supposed to make someone less dateable? If the guy says yes, haven’t you just made yourself, by definition, dateable?

    • baal

      The two most recent woman I was wowed by IRL were exceedingly butch. What works for amazingly hot depends entirely on the person and not on matching some photoshopped magazine beauty model.

    • lmern

      Based on a common Christian misconception that everyone ought to think and feel as they do. Totally inconceivable that people find different things attractive.

    • Artor

      My ex is the sexiest woman alive, especially in her tight jeans, bare midriff, a little whale tail showing, and a blackbelt in aikido. Try to treat her as a sex object though, and you’re asking for trouble.
      How hard is it to understand that dressing sexy isn’t an invitation for any misogynist asshole to express his ignorant, unwanted opinion?

  • averydashwood

    Judging by the photograph of Lookadoo, I would say he’s best qualified to give advice on how to scare William Shatner on an airplane.

    • Diane

      I…I think I love you.

      • Donna Stein-Hartnett

        Me too! Best. Comment. EVER!

  • SeekerLancer

    This isn’t just a stupid assembly full of bad advice it’s hate speech.

    A round of applause for the kids though. Maybe the political predictions of Texas becoming a blue state in the next few decades are right.

    • skyblue

      Stuff like this (the kids’ reaction, not the speech, of course) makes me hopeful for the future. Before the internet and social media, I bet this assembly would have come and gone, pissed people off sure, but gotten very little attention outside of a few parents talking about how “they really shouldn’t have done that”. Maybe a letter to the administration. Chances are the kids wouldn’t have even known how many of their peers also objected to it.

  • Gabby

    Terrible. However, on the bright side, at least we can feel reassured that the younger generation is seeing through the crap. It made me feel better to know that the students were not buying it.

    • Gus

      Well, some of them, anyway. We have no idea how many students at that school didn’t make appropriately snide comments on Twitter, but instead were influenced or had their existing views reinforced by this clown.

      • Gabby

        Good point.

  • Brian K

    Is calling their response “childish” really fair? I’d call that guy a douche too.

    • Lando

      Yeah, took me a second to catch the connection to his name – pretty apt hashtag, imho.

      • UWIR

        And the website even says “The name says it all”.

        Just in: look, a douche!

    • SeekerLancer

      I had a good laugh at the hashtag. It’s hard to give a mature response to this brand of moron, honestly.

      • Timothy McLean

        Well, none that are also effective. You can’t have everything.

      • Diane

        I just realized that “lookadouche” was a play on his name and not another way to say “Look, a douche!”

  • paulalovescats

    So how do we become more dateable? By not doing my hair up in knobs and running around with a stupid grin on my face?? But I do think that girls shouldn’t dress like whores. They don’t deserve the gropes or rape, no, but they shouldn’t say a word when a guy thinks about how easy she is or looks at her. She’s sticking it out there.

    • lmern

      ^^ #lookadouche ^^

      • JohnnieCanuck

        Well played.

    • cyb pauli

      When are people going to accept that prostitutes dress in every imaginable way? Prostitutes wear sweats, jeans and t-shirts, fine evening gowns… The stereotype of a street-walker in stilettos and a bright orange miniskirt and a lime green bra is just old and boring.

    • miunen

      If you think they shouldn’t say a word, then you think they deserve it.

    • Anat

      She has a right to ‘stick it out there’ and not be assaulted in any way. She has a right to be safe in her person.

    • RowanVT

      Considering women are not telepaths, she probably isn’t saying anything in response to his thoughts, and unless he’s actively drooling, probably not how he’s looking at her either.

      No, we say ‘a word’ when the ‘guy’ in question starts acting like an entitled asshat.

    • Aureliano_Buendia

      “So how do we become more dateable?”

      I’d say “by treating each other with mutual respect, rather than relying on gender stereotypes and rape apologetics.”

      But hey, maybe that’s your kink. I’m not sure how else you’d justify your words. ‘I’m not saying she deserves it, but she deserves it when she gets what is coming to her’ is pretty disturbing either way.

    • http://gamesgirlsgods.blogspot.com/ Feminerd

      Define “dressed like a whore”. Then, ask three other women and four men what “dressed like a whore” means. Make sure to cover territory such as: What is “sticking it out there”? Certain types of makeup? Certain jewelry? Shoulders showing? Having cleavage? Having lots of cleavage? What is lots of cleavage, anyways? Sideboob? Underboob? Tummy showing? Belly button showing? Top of hips showing? Butt crack showing? Bottom of buttocks showing? Shape of buttocks showing, as tight pants? Thighs showing? How much thigh? Knees showing? Ankles showing? Toes showing? Painted fingernails and toenails? Ankle jewelry? Toe jewelry?Then compare your answers. You might, if you really wanted to get proper information, also survey actual sex workers to see what they wear, both when working and when not (make sure to get a diverse sample that includes prostitutes and other sex workers like strippers and dommes).

      I guarantee you that you will all have different answers. When you have all reached an agreement as to what improper “whore” wear is, let us know. Make sure your answers don’t shame women who have curves, either- they’re going to show boobs and butt whether they want to or not, and if their existence makes everything they wear “dressed like a whore” you have to start all over again.

      • Camorris

        And why the need to denigrate sex trade workers anyhow? They are simply people providing a service that is in perpetual demand. It is religion that forces them into unsafe working environments.

        • onamission5

          THIS. Like, a million times. Every time someone uses the “don’t dress like a whore” line, what they are also saying is that sex workers deserve to be assaulted and denigrated. That disrespect, assault, and rape are, and should be, part of the job description. No. Just, no.

          • lmern

            Thank you, the three of you.

  • blasphemous_kansan

    So AdvancedAtheist does speaking gigs on the side, it seems?
    #Lookadouche

    • cyb pauli

      I love it when something on the internets makes me laugh hard irl. :)

    • onamission5

      Sadly I have but one upvote to give you. Well played.

    • Timothy McLean

      I don’t get it.

      • SeekerLancer

        AdvancedAtheist is our resident misogynist atheist commentator.

      • blasphemous_kansan

        Sorry, I don’t like inside jokes, either.

        This is a commentor whose misogynist rantings are indistinguishable from Mr. Lookadoo’s if you replace “God made guys as leaders” above with “guys have always been leaders, but only whites have been good ones ones”. Other than that one sentence they could be the same person. Except then advancedatheist would have the audacity to complain that no one is slutty enough to fuck him afterward.

        You can see some of his work on Terry Firma’s article from the 11th about the Jesuit professor. Kind of like the work my dog produces, it smells like shit but it’s amusing how proud he is of it.

  • http://www.holytape.etsy.com Holytape

    So, from this guys advice, the ultimate dateable girl would be a high end plush love doll. (The low end inflatable ones aren’t “soft.” And anything human talks, which is a no-no)

    And the ultimate dateable guy has nerve damage so that they are not as sensitive, feral, wears white after labor day, and runs around stealing doors, opening random ketchup bottles and throwing tarps over understandably confused women.

  • Copyleft

    Well, I can halfway appreciate “Don’t live by the rules of others,” although why we should limit that to just one gender is beyond me….

    • closetatheist

      After an article warning young men not to objectify young women and warning young women not to dress in order to be objectified, I got into an online brawl with several people after I commented that “we should teach all of our children not to objectify someone they are sexually attracted to and to dress in a way that shows they respect themselves, not just give one message to our boys and one to our girls.” Christians flipped the fuck out and began going on and on about how stereotypes actually provide truthful information about society and how its been *proven* that men objectify and women only get off by being touched or some bullshit like that… I was really at a loss. They thought it was a BAD thing to equally dole out GOOD advice to children. WTF?

      • Copyleft

        Equality: It’s just SCARY.

    • Pitabred

      Don’t live by the rules of others, except his rules. Because obviously his rules are right. Duh. It’s just rules from OTHER guys, you know the type… they actually think women are real people! Can you believe it?

      • UWIR

        I think you missed what he said. He told guys not to live by the rules of girls. Because nothing turns a girl off more than some pussy who lets the girl have a say in the relationship.

  • TiltedHorizon

    “#Lookadouche”

    LOL. I love that the students are the ones calling shenanigans on misogyny. Kudos to them.

  • katiehippie

    I love that the kids think for themselves. That’s what I want my kids to do.

    • Compuholic

      Was my first thought as well. They should be proud. Obviously they are way ahead of their school board. Not only was the school board unable to figure out for themselves what a douchebag this guy is, they obviously didn’t even get it when it was pointed out to them from parents.

  • KMR

    Sometimes I think people should stop being so sensitive. Not in this case though. Wow! How does that even happen? How does a guy who is so obviously insulting to everyone get invited to a public highschool? The stupidity of it is what gets me. Someone was stupid enough to think this was a good idea. And that someone probably holds a fairly important position in the school.

    • fenaray

      And I don’t think it would be a stretch to guess that they probably call themselves an xtian as well.

      • KMR

        [Sigh] It wouldn’t. His schtick plays right into things that I heard growing up in evangelical churches.

  • MNb

    “Which means they don’t ask him out!!!“
    I’m almost 50 now but I wish so much that this rule already was abandoned 25, 30 years ago, when I was a shy guy.

    • lmern

      Clearly to his eyes a woman asking a guy out shows she’s too eager and therefore slutty. Because that isn’t the most abstract double standard I’ve ever heard.
      “He’s a freak, let’s be frank.” They set themselves up for that one.

    • cyb pauli

      Im 26. By the time I was in PRESCHOOL I knew if I wanted the attentions of the shy, nerdy, elegant, well-mannered, literate males, I would have to fetch it myself. I’ve never been disappointed. Some men prefer a relatively aggressive female, and I say, some of us prefer a more introverted, conscientious man. It sickens me, having loved so many gentlemen, how corrosive this “real man” mythos is to them.

      tl;dr… Ill arrange the date, you just sit there and look pretty reading Kant. ;-)

      • RoxnSox

        You are awesome!
        I’m pretty sure I’d still be single, if my wife hadn’t asked me out on a date 17 years ago. My social phobias have definitely lessened in that time, but I don’t know if I could ask someone out even now. Thank you to all you strong women, who don’t mind breaking societal rules.

        • allein

          Try being a shy person interested in someone you suspect may be as shy as you are…

          • Pitabred

            I feel ya. There’s one thing that I learned that has made a lot of difference, though…

            Very, VERY few people can tell when you’re faking confidence ;) Not an admonition, just an idea to keep in the back of your head. It’s made a pretty big (positive) difference in how I deal with people, and how people treat me.

            • allein

              I’m trying to be better at making eye contact…I have to make a conscious effort to do it. But I tend to think about it after the fact and then I get annoyed with myself. :-/

            • UWIR

              That’s just silly. Faking anything requires confidence. Faking confidence is a contradiction in terms. One can pretend to be more confident than one is, but one can’t fake confidence without already having some amount of confidence.

              • Pitabred

                …yes. Pretending. That’s exactly what I’m advocating. If you go out in the world, you already have some sort of confidence base, all you have to do is pretend to be confident, and pay attention to how people’s reactions to you change.

                Or perhaps you’re saying something different? I don’t know. You seem to think pretending and faking are somehow exclusive and different.

  • James

    It’s generally inadvisable to book a speaker who is a dead ringer for Guy Fieri’s bat-crap crazy younger brother. But, that’s not really being fair to Guy Fieri, who can actually pull that look off while still looking like a lovable douche.

    • UWIR

      I’ve always thought of Guy Fieri as a douchier version of Lance Bass, so does that make Justin a crazier version of a douchier version of Lance?

      • James

        There are degrees for those who have been seduced by the Doucheside. Guy Fieri is firmly in the middle of the Douchside. Justin Lookadoo amps the douche up to 11.

  • Gus

    RHS and RISD approve of the broad messages shared with students related to … dating violence

    Oh really…. They agree with this?

    if you go too tight, too short, or too low-cut, you are no longer a person to get to know but an object to use.

    If you are dressed like a flesh buffet, don’t be surprised when he treats you like a piece of meat.

    And this is a public school district in a major city and they are saying they agree with a message about dating violence that says young women are at fault? I can honestly say I’m shocked. I expect small, rural districts to be dumb enough to bring in a guy like this, but a major urban district, even in Texas, doing something this dumb and even after parent compalints is pretty surprising. And absurd. And someone needs to suffer some consequences beyond being embarrassed on the internet. This stuff should be obvious enough by now to any school administrator that, quite frankly, there should no longer be warnings or second chances. Someone should lose their job.

    • Timothy McLean

      I’m not surprised. Should I be? Am I overly cynical?

      • Gus

        Dallas is a huge city, and this district is in the suburbs pretty near the city. Usually such a place would have a school district that at least knows and understands the law and wouldn’t do something quite this stupid. But maybe it’s far enough out from Dallas not to be, or maybe Texas really is that different, or maybe I’m underly cynical?

        • Timothy McLean

          I’m more unsurprised at the fact that this happened somewhere. Accept that, and the specific location doesn’t matter much.

  • Gus

    I would like to point out that his website includes a prominent link to his MySpace page, but not to Twitter or Facebook. Way to keep up with what the younger generation’s up to these days, Justin.

  • SansDeus

    Well you have to admit Gollum has cleaned himself up a bit.

    • Melissa Garhart

      DO NOT drag Gollum’s name through the mud. Sure, he’s a One Ring addicted nut job, but at no point whatsoever has he been even remotely misogynistic. He hates men and women equally.

  • storm

    That guy looks like the stereotypical “hip” youth pastor.

  • http://salon.glenrose.net Somervell County Salon

    Not the only stealth christian program in Texas – “Army of One” with Dennis Lee Ministries http://salon.glenrose.net/default.asp?view=plink&id=15034

  • RowanVT

    O_O Why does he look like a deranged muppet?

  • ThyGoddess

    “If you’re dressed like a flesh buffet don’t be surprised if he treats you like a piece of meat…” After reading all his other advices, I think that Lookado dateable guys already treat a girl like a piece of meat no matter what she wears.

    • cyb pauli

      That’s the magic of misogyny, no matter how a female is treated, she better shut up and like it and if she tells who will believe her anyway. Struggle, wriggle, try to adjust your looks, your friends, your family, your behavior so the abuser will stop hurting you… make that your whole life because what is a woman/girl for after all?

      • Pitabred

        A couple goats and a camel.

        Oh… what’s she for, not what we’re asking for her. Sorry, my mistake.

    • onamission5

      Funny how his fashion advice plus occupation shaming doesn’t extend to guys. It’s apparent how horrible his rationale is if we turn things around a bit…

      If you wear a brown button-down with shorts, don’t be surprised when girls treat you like a UPS driver and grab your package
      If you go shirtless, don’t be surprised if girls treat you like a life guard and demand mouth to mouth against your will
      If you wear skinny jeans, don’t be surprised when girls treat you like a rock star and force you to have sex with them in hotel rooms, after all, your clothes tell people everything they need to know about you so if you guys dress a certain way you’re no longer a person but an object.

      No porn for teh ladies, because Real Women cover their men up.

      (S’cuse me, I need to go take my turn with the brain bleach.)

      Zero acknowledgement for the fact that sex work is a job, and no, it’s not okay to grope, harass, or rape sex workers, either, even if they happen to be dressed sexy for work. Gee, something tells me that this guy might be someone who isn’t safe to be alone around if one happens to be any woman or girl post puberty, no matter what we’re wearing. He’s just a mite too fixated.

  • FuckYouIsTotallyAQuestion

    ‘RHS and RISD approve of the broad messages shared with students related to self-empowerment and dating violence’

    ‘Don’t have any (if you’re a woman)’ and ‘it’s OK if she’s asking for it’? That seems a little dubious.

    • UWIR

      I think it’s “Don’t be afraid to be yourself. Assuming, of course ‘yourself’ happens to follow the gender norms of your birth sex.”

  • Fentwin

    Justin Lookadoo-fus.
    That is all.

  • Timmah

    “God made guys as leaders. Dateable girls get that and let him do guy things, get a door, open a ketchup bottle. They relax and let guys be guys. Which means they don’t ask him out!!!“

    This one is a trap ladies. Be glad this one is still a social norm because you want no part of it. Even at my age, asking women out remains one of the most awful and terrifying social interactions there is.

  • duke_of_omnium

    Back in my cannibal days, my girlfriends complained that I’d treated them like pieces of meat.

    Thank you, I’ll be here all week, and try the veal marsala – it’s to die for!

  • McAtheist

    “God made guys as leaders. Dateable girls get that and let him do guy things, get a door, open a ketchup bottle. They relax and let guys be guys”.
    I can open doors and ketchup bottles, I am a leader! I can change lightbulbs and take out the garbage too, maybe I am also qualified to be a world leader.

    • tsig

      Sorry, a true world leader has someone change lightbulbs and take out the trash for her.

  • allein

    “Dress for your body. Get clothes that work with what you’ve got.”

    Damn, he started out so well there…too bad he didn’t stop at that.

  • R T

    Keep in mind, this happened in Texas. Granted, it shouldn’t have happened in the first place, but the surprise factor is down in the basement. These are the same clowns that are still trying to get creationism in their science textbooks!

  • guest

    This is Texas.
    Nuff said.

  • http://gamesgirlsgods.blogspot.com/ Feminerd

    Oh fuck me, that’s really close to where I live.

    Oh well, I guess that means I get to make complaints that might be listened to!

  • Anna

    That’s absolutely appalling.

    However, I find it encouraging that the students voiced their opposition to this speaker. Since it’s Texas, I bet many students are from evangelical Christian families, but it looks like a lot of those kids and their parents had a visceral negative reaction to this nonsense.

    • http://gamesgirlsgods.blogspot.com/ Feminerd

      Richardson is a suburb of Dallas. There are many evangelical Christian families, of course, but they aren’t even the majority. The DFW area is actually a major metroplex, with the (probably involuntary) cosmopolitanism that entails.

      • GraceAlexander

        Dallas is, Fort Worth is NOT.

      • Anna

        Aw, rats. That makes it not quite as impressive now, LOL.

  • Johnlev

    Say what you will about millennials but the tweets are hilarious! Faith in humanity restored.

  • onamission5

    Given the circumstances, I think “Fuck You” is a perfectly appropriate question.

    • Brian K

      That’s the question he should’ve asked. “Is fuck you a question?”

      • onamission5

        Heh, my comment is in reply to a tweet which asks exactly that!

  • EricBoucher

    His website has FRAMES!! Thats so amazing. Now its time to head back to http://www2.warnerbros.com/spacejam/movie/jam.htm and revel in the glory of real frames!

  • Timothy McLean

    “Here’s an idea: Get the administrators at that school to sit for a mandatory assembly run by the students who complained about Lookadoo. Maybe they would finally learn something.”
    I doubt it, but I’m cynical.

  • Itarion

    Yeah, why attend math class when you can go listen to the musings of a rape-apologist?

    Because mathematics class teaches necessary, basic skills that will apply for the rest of your life… Hold on, I’m getting something over the radio. Apparently this question is rhetorical

    • badphairy

      LOL irl.

  • Diane

    This is basically “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus” with some god stuff thrown in, and it’s as moronic now as it was then. Just be what you are, change what you want to change for your own sake, and then let the chips fall where they may–the world doesn’t begin and end with having an SO, for reasonable people with self-esteem anyway..

    Also, according to his site I’m “dateless,” but that just means I’m dateless to his type of guy, so I’m OK with that.

  • InigoMontoya

    Dateable guys do not look like Gollum. I call shenanigans on his giving anyone dating advice.

    • SeekerLancer

      Not that I think you should judge people by their looks, but that was exactly my first impression as well.

      • Mario Strada

        I think you can when their image is especially crafted to convey a message and it is part of their marketing.

  • Gina Renee

    RHS sent home a letter today with us studens that stated that he will not be bringing this man back- THANK GOD!

    • Diane

      Was there anything like an apology or an acknowledgement that the whole thing had been insanely stupid to do in the first place?

  • closetatheist

    ok, ok. I know most of this advice SUCKS HARD. Buuuut I had this book when I was younger and its not *all* bad. He pushes hard the concept that young people need their own hobbies and to pursue their own interests during their teenage years, which is pretty good advice. So many of my friends got wrapped up in dating one douche after the other that they lost friends and didn’t do things they would have loved to do, like sports, or drama club or whatever. You don’t get that time back.
    He did heavily rely on really dumb stereotypes though – even back in the day I was all “WTF, dude?” Like in a list of “Bad character traits” for boys he listed tattoos and motorcycles….ok, granma? What do those things have to do with someone’s ability to be generous, compassionate, and loving?

  • Randy Meyer

    This is not a message I want my sons learning. If my kids were in this district, you can bet they would be hearing from me.

  • paganmegan

    The guy looks like the Great Vizzini from The Princess Bride. Truly he has a dizzying intellect!

    • Little_Magpie

      nope, that’s an insult to Vizzini.

  • Mario Strada

    Wait a minute, he can’t be that bad! Did you see his spiky hair? He must be the coolest guy. Right?

    • Guest

      Nope, he’s just really horny.

    • Joshua Lee Johansson Johnson

      Fleshy girls “spike” his interest, if you know what I’m saying.

    • James Leno

      Yeah, maybe he’s a good cook.

    • Stev84

      It’s just a trick to appear cool to students. There is another picture of him with purple hair.

  • Guest

    “‘Dress for your body. Get clothes that work with what you’ve got. But know that if you go too tight, too short, or too low-cut, you are no longer a person to get to know but an object to use.’ Yeah, why attend math class when you can go listen to the musings of a rape-apologist?”

    This is something I never understood. Why is an observation of reality considered a condoning of reality? When I was in college I dressed in skimpy clothing and, guess what, I was treated like a piece of meat. Were there men who treated me well regardless? Yes, but they were virtuous men who were exceptions to the rule.

    When I began to dress with dignity I was treated with more dignity. Are there men who still expect me to be stimulus for their fantasies? Yes, but on average I’m treated better.

    I never understand why WARNING girls that men generally do not behave as they OUGHT to behave is a bad thing? Yes it would be nice if everyone did what they ought to do…but given that they don’t it makes sense to take those failing into account. Just as I don’t go for a stroll through the bad part of town late at night, so I don’t expose my body to be used by any man I happen to pass.

    • http://gamesgirlsgods.blogspot.com/ Feminerd

      Why not WARN men not to be assholes and tell them that treating anyone like a piece of meat is NOT how they ought to behave, ever?

      Blame the victim (including yourself), much?

      • ladycygnus

        I’m glad you think that men should be held to a standard of behavior, so do I. I think that any man who harms a woman (no matter how she is dressed) ought to be punished.

        I’m just saying that all men will never completely do what they ought to do – and it is foolish to pretend that because there is righteous indignation at a man harming a woman that all men will stop harming women.

        • http://gamesgirlsgods.blogspot.com/ Feminerd

          And you are wrong. We know that the bystander effect is powerful when harnessed. We know that people who have been taught since childhood to respect people actually do that. We know that men who run up against this scary idea that women are people too actually do change their minds and behaviors quite frequently. We know that it’s not about holding men to a standard of behavior, but holding all people to a common standard of behavior.

          It is not the onus of the woman to stop a man from harming her. It is the onus of the man to not do the harming. Righteous indignation, combined with education campaigns, works wonders for changing minds and attitudes. Women in Egypt dress quite “modestly”, yet the rape and abuse rate is horrific. Walking around topless is fairly common in much of Europe, yet rape rates there are quite low compared to the rest of the world. Why? It has nothing to do with women and everything to do with men. Telling women that it’s all their fault and if only they put themselves in that tiny box over there will they be safe is wrong, dehumanizing, and frankly stupid. The box just gets smaller and smaller and smaller until it suffocates one’s personality, style, and self entirely. Talk of foolishness! It is foolish to not demand the respect you, as a human being, are entitled to. It is foolish to try to stuff yourself and other people into ill-fitting gender roles when you could be freeing yourself instead.

          • ladycygnus

            As I just replied to someone else – I cannot even change myself such that *I* always do what I ought to do, how can I expect to change everyone else to do what I think they ought to do?

            Part of demanding respect for myself is to not see myself as an object from the start. I know my body is part of me, an intrical part of who I am, and thus I treat it as I would want to be treated. I want to be treated like I’m smart and beautiful, not like the only thing worth while is how sexy I am. So I dress in a way that reflects this and prepares my mind to think that. It’s like putting on a uniform before going to work, it sets your mind in the right spot so you can enter into the roll.

            I often hear the slippery slope argument that saying modesty is healthy and good for women is going to lead to burkas and the Islam rape culture. While I can see on some level how a false look at modesty can lead to this, a logical approach to modesty should not. It is recognizing the woman’s body is beautiful and should not be used, and thus it is protected, versus thinking the woman’s body is evil and should be hidden away.

            • http://gamesgirlsgods.blogspot.com/ Feminerd

              You’re projecting your personal experience to everyone. Stop that. Not all women are you, and you are not all women. You feel this way, and that’s fine. You feel more comfortable in clothes that aren’t super revealing. Me too, actually.

              But you know what? You’re not every woman. Neither am I. And I refuse to accept a society that says if I get dressed up to go clubbing for a night, I should be treated as a stupid whore for daring to do that, even just during the time I’m wearing my black lace dress. Who I am doesn’t change based on what I am wearing. When you draw boundaries and say “past this boundary, you asked for it”, you’re legitimizing the idea that there should be boundaries and that women should sometimes be treated badly. No. No one should ever be treated poorly. Crossing some poorly defined, ever-changing clothing boundary is not an excuse for a man to treat a woman poorly, or a woman to treat a man poorly, and drawing that line means it will be drawn closer and closer and closer in, until nothing is ever good enough.

              Will some men behave poorly? Yes. Always. People always screw things up. What you can do is stop making excuses for the men who behave poorly. Call them out on their behavior instead and tell them it’s not acceptable. Don’t throw another woman under the bus just to try to keep yourself safe. Have you ever heard the adage “I don’t have to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun you”? Stop trying to come in not-last in this clothing/modesty thing, and instead turn and punch the bear in the nose!

              • ladycygnus

                You seem to think I’m making excuses for men. I’m not. I’m realistically looking at the world and realizing that a portion of men will never do what they ought to do, but I can still have some effect by the clothing choices I make.

                Do I think a woman who dresses provocatively deserves what’s coming to her? No, most certainly not. No one should be treated like an object for another’s pleasure. But I would say she is a fool if she is surprised.

                • http://gamesgirlsgods.blogspot.com/ Feminerd

                  And I say you are a fool to just shrug and accept it with a sigh of relief that it wasn’t you.

                • ladycygnus

                  Sigh of relief? Why do you think I’m typing all of this? It is an obvious fact that the way a woman dresses affects how she is treated by the (non-saintly) men around her. How is warning her wrong? How is it self-serving to tell her that she will feel more beautiful and in charge when she dresses in a way that reflects that?

                  Do you not see the harm done when women are told they can dress however they like because men should never hurt them – and then men hurt them because there is sin in the world. Women are setup to be harmed, to feel like helpless victims, to be trampled underfoot. They have their power stripped away from them so that they can what, wear whatever they want to?

                  Do you know the first rule of self-defense? Don’t get into a situation where you need to use it. Yet we are constantly shoving women into a place where they need to defend themselves and then bemoaning the fact that they end up needing to defend themselves.

                  This isn’t an excuse for bad men – but it is telling women that they can take measures to protect themselves from those men.

                • http://gamesgirlsgods.blogspot.com/ Feminerd

                  Do you not see the harm you do in assuming men can’t change and thus it is women’s burden to just “deal with it”? Do you not see how you shortchange men when you assign them the category of sexual assailant without even trying to talk to them about how to change their behavior? Do you not see how you disgrace yourself when you say it’s a woman’s fault she got harassed, when that is simply untrue?

                  Warning a woman that what she wears will impact how she is treated goes like this: “Some men are going to treat you badly if you wear that. It’s stupid and wrong, and you should tell those men to go fuck themselves and go enjoy yourself. If you don’t feel up to dealing with that sort of negative attention, you can change, but otherwise, rock on!”

                  That is not at all what you said. What you said was: “Some men are going to treat you badly if you wear that. You should never dress in clothes that men will find sexy, and if you do, any harassment you receive is all your fault. You should have known better.” Do you see how you are blaming the victim here?

                  No one ever says men won’t hurt women. What I am saying is that what she wears has no bearing on whether a man will hurt her or not, and if someone does hurt her, it is entirely the man’s fault. When women strip other women of power and agency by trying to be less rapeable or harrassable than the woman next to them, instead of stopping rape altogether, they are playing the oppressor’s game. Stop it.

                  You’re also repeating the (long-since-debunked) myth that what a woman wears has anything to do with whether she is raped or not. It doesn’t. Rapists pick victims based on personality and vulnerability, not clothing. In fact, wearing clothes that broadcast confidence may actually ward off rapists, because they don’t want confident victims. They want shy, modest victims who won’t fight back because it’s “unladylike”.

                • lmern

                  This was excellent.

                • Rae

                  “…I can still have some effect by the clothing choices I make.”
                  Do you really believe that a few more inches of fabric will protect a woman from being raped? If a woman walked by a rapist, do you honestly think he’d be less likely to attack her if she were wearing an ankle-length dress than if she were wearing a miniskirt? Any man that would rape a “provocatively” dressed woman would rape a “modestly” dressed woman. The length of your hemline makes no difference, and it’s irresponsible to say otherwise.

                • ladycygnus

                  Typically when a woman is raped it’s by someone she knows. This means there is at least some level of relationship there (as opposed to walking down a dark alley as your example implied).

                  We know that clothing says something about who you are – it is an “expression of yourself” as is often said. So, if the type of clothing expresses who you are, and men looking to use a woman will be looking for certain expressions…you’re right. Clothing will have no effect on a woman’s chances of being raped. (/sarcasm)

                  And since I saw some idiot post this earlier – No I don’t think wearing a long skirt will magically protect you from ever being raped. Just like I don’t think wearing a seat belt will magically protect you from ever dying in a car accident.

                • Rae

                  Forgive me for my poor example. I guess I should have said “If a woman is in the presence of a rapist, regardless of their relationship…”, but it doesn’t really make a difference. If a man is “looking to use a woman”, as you put it, he will do so given the chance, no matter how she’s dressed. If he thinks of women in that way – only as objects to be used – why would he be more likely to choose a woman whose expression of self is less modest than another’s? Do rapists have standards? Is his disgusting way of thinking only directed toward immodest women? No, it’s a lack of respect for women, period. Again, if a man is vile enough to rape a woman, he will rape ANY woman.

                • lmern

                  “Do I think a woman who dresses provocatively deserves what’s coming to her? No, most certainly not. No one should be treated like an object for another’s pleasure. But I would say she is a fool if she is surprised.”

                  You’re a fucking idiot. I wish I could be as clear and patient as Feminerd, but you have given little reason to deserve it.

              • lmern

                I think I’m in love with you.

                • http://gamesgirlsgods.blogspot.com/ Feminerd

                  Heh. Thank you.

            • Pitabred

              A woman’s body should most certainly be used by her. But only on her terms, however she wants. End of story. Wear what you want, you should not ever be made to feel unsafe or at blame for it, only acceptance of the image you’re projecting with said clothing, like any man in a suit vs. daisy dukes and nothing else.

              Another way to explain what I think Feminerd is getting at is that if the decent males don’t give a pass to that behavior, if they say “Dude, not cool”, people do change. I know for a fact that I stopped a some bullying when I was in grade school simply because I stood up to the bullies, telling them it wasn’t cool what they were doing. Directed a bit of the action back at me because I wasn’t actually able to be a target in the same way, and it caused them to second guess themselves since they respected me. It doesn’t take much, but it does take awareness, and it takes calling them out on it. That’s all we really need to do… call the guys out on their boorish behavior.

              Unfortunately, given current social dynamics, that means more coming from a guy like me instead of a woman. Which is why we need to address the men and tell them to stop being jerks, and encourage guys to stand up to that crap when we see it happen. Even if they’d never do the actual behavior themselves, the “bystander effect” has the effect of encouraging any behavior that’s not explicitly chastised.

              Edit: Fixes for grammar and clarification. I must have been half asleep at the keyboard, sheesh.

              • ladycygnus

                We are our bodies and to use someone’s body is to use the person. No one should ever be used. End of Story.

                I agree, good men need to stand up and be men. They need to protect the women from those who would use them. The need to lay down their wishes and desires to set right what has gone horribly wrong.

                Yet we will never get ALL men to ALWAYS do what they ought to do. The best we can hope for is that SOME men will SOMETIMES do what they ought to do and society will improve. Till then we can encourage women to sometimes do what they ought to do to protect themselves.

                • http://gamesgirlsgods.blogspot.com/ Feminerd

                  You have a surprisingly negative view of men. I’m surprised more of them aren’t coming along and being insulted at how you portray men as either slavering rape-beasts or probably just going to stand aside and let the rape-beasts do their thing.

                  If you want to protect women, encourage them to be more self-confident and assertive. Teach everyone, men and women, what enthusiastic consent means. Teach everyone that alcohol isn’t an excuse, that drugs aren’t an excuse, that being asleep or unconscious isn’t an excuse. Teach everyone that using force to procure sex is unacceptable behavior. Teach everyone that bystanders can intervene effectively, and teach them how. Teach everyone that the guy making rape jokes is testing the water, and if you tell him he’s not being cool, he’s less likely to rape (again) because he knows people don’t implicitly think rape is okay. Teach everyone that what a person wears doesn’t affect hir chances of being raped at all; the only thing that matters is the presence or absence of a rapist at a vulnerable time period in hir life (and all people have vulnerable time periods).

                • ladycygnus

                  It’s so weird that we agree on so much. I agree that women should be taught confidence and to be assertive. That men should know not to touch a woman who has not given consent.

                  But I also believe that a woman should be taught that she is valued for more than her sexiness. That putting herself in a dangerous situation is not healthy (and that includes drugs and alcohol). That she deserves to be loved as a subject not used and an object. The same goes for men.

                  I’ve been working rather hard to remove the negative view of men that
                  was drilled into me when I was younger. I think I have a realistic view
                  of men and women – and that’s that we all fall short of doing what we
                  ought to do and it doesn’t make sense to hope for people to suddenly start doing what they ought.

                • ladycygnus

                  ” You are saying she asked for it if she dared to dress up in
                  attractive clothes and go to a bar and have a drink or three (or
                  seven).” I never said that. You, and everyone else on this site, keep
                  judging me as saying that.

                  I said that a woman should realize that there are evil men out there and she should take steps to protect herself.

                  It took forever to find this (I dislike disqus), but what you say here IS what I’ve been saying,

                  “Warning
                  a woman that what she wears will impact how she is treated goes like
                  this: “Some men are going to treat you badly if you wear that. It’s
                  stupid and wrong, and you should tell those men to go fuck themselves
                  and go enjoy yourself. If you don’t feel up to dealing with that sort
                  of negative attention, you can change, but otherwise, rock on!”

                  I’ve
                  been saying WE DON’T WARN women in this way. What society says to women
                  is “You can wear whatever you want and expect every man to treat you
                  well.” and when men treat her horribly she goes home and feels miserable
                  and laments how she is a helpless victim – there must be something
                  wrong with her, with all men, with society that she doesn’t get any
                  respect.

                  If you don’t want to be respected…fine ‘rock on’ as
                  you say. I’m not blaming the victim, I’m giving the victim the power to
                  get out of the situation. I have honestly had a woman complain to me
                  that the guy she picked up in a bar, while tipsy, and slept with that
                  night, ended up being an asshat who wanted her for sex only. Common
                  sense girl – seriously.

                  I’m done with you judging me for wanting
                  to inform women that they have the power to change their situation. I
                  fail to see why you all hate me so much for pointing out what you
                  YOURSELF just admitted to be true.

                • http://gamesgirlsgods.blogspot.com/ Feminerd

                  What society do you live in? I’ve been judged on my clothing since I was old enough to have boobs (which was kinda late for me, ~12-13ish). My parents tried to counter society’s toxic messages about what was and wasn’t appropriate for me to wear, but I always knew that society taught me that my worth as a person to the outside world was largely based on whether I looked pretty and wore the right makeup and was sufficiently feminine. I chose to break that little box, at least some- I was smart and I knew it and I didn’t hide it. I don’t wear makeup because it feels icky on my face. I wear shirts and pants based on whether I like them, and damn everyone else if they’re not stylish.

                  But in other ways I’ve definitely been affected. I don’t wear shorts, ever, even when it is high summer, because I don’t shave my legs and hate people staring. I don’t go to bars or clubs alone, ever, and it is always a more pleasant experience if I’m with my husband because other men see me as “claimed”. When I go to D&D conventions, I only pack gaming T-shirts because if I look “girly” at all, I will be treated very poorly, and I don’t feel like dealing with the negative attention.

                  Society has never, ever told me that I deserve respect no matter what I wear. Feminism taught me that. No one has ever told me that I will get respect no matter what I wear, because it’s blatantly untrue. And if dressing in a certain way leads people to treat you badly, then a woman damned well ought to lament that something is wrong with society. After all, society told me if I got raped or assaulted or harassed it was my fault for “dressing sexy” or “leading him on”.

                  I’m judging you for buying into that last idea. You keep repeating, over and over again, that if a woman dresses in a way you, personally, disapprove of, she deserves what happened to her. She shouldn’t be surprised. Men can’t control themselves, so why’d she dress like that? That is all victim blaming.

                • RowanVT

                  Do you honestly somehow think that the vast majority of women were NOT told while growing up “Don’t wear such clothing because it might lead to you getting raped”? Do you honestly think this is a radical concept most women have never heard of, because if so you’ve been living alone in a cave all your life.

                  That woman you mention, the one who got tipsy and had a one night stand? That asshat would have wanted her for sex only if she’d been naked OR was in a floor length potato sack. Men like that do not care what a woman wears. He saw a tipsy girl and took advantage, the end. Clothing doesn’t even enter that.

                  ” What society says to women is “You can wear whatever you want and expect every man to treat you well.” and when men treat her horribly she goes home and feels miserable and laments how she is a helpless victim – there must be something wrong with her, with all men, with society that she doesn’t get any respect.”

                  No, no, nonononoNONONONONOPE.

                  Society doesn’t say a damned thing like that. Society says “If you wear that, you were asking for it.”
                  By telling women that if they dress “immodestly” they are *going* to get negative attention, and therefore should dress modestly, you are telling women that they *deserve* negative attention. It doesn’t matter how many times you say you aren’t making that statement. The fact is, you are. It’s like “love the sinner, hate the sin”…. that doesn’t *feel* like love to the person it’s directed against. So while your intent may not be victim blaming, the end result is the same and you need to understand that. Intent isn’t magic. Outcomes are what matter.

                • ladycygnus

                  Saying “statistically speaking if you wear that you will get negative attention” does NOT imply she was deserving of it or that it’s OK for the man to do so. It’s stating an observation. You can’t get an “ought” from an “is”.

                  Everyone is yelling at me for stating the obvious. I didn’t make reality what it is; I can only observe it and respond accordingly and encourage others to do the same.

                • RowanVT

                  But you don’t seem to want to change reality. Instead of focusing on the fact that men are taught by society to think of women primarily with regards to sex, you tell women to change how they dress as if that will make a difference. You tell women to dress not for how they feel and want to look, but so they don’t MAKE MEN have sexy thoughts.

                  You are firmly on team “the skirt made me put my dick there” while we are team “It’s a fucking piece of fabric, get over it.”

                • ladycygnus

                  I believe individuals can change to more often do what they ought to do, but we can never get everyone to always do what they ought to do. And some will choose less so to do what they ought to do – ergo, we are are stuck with a broken society. It doesn’t make sense to me to yell at people who point out the brokenness. The brokenness is there – plainly visible.

                  I think part of the anger towards me is this idea that there are two divided sides. Those who think women deserve to get rape and should wear burkas – and those who think women never deserve to get rape and should be able to go nude. I think if you all were to take some time and really look at what the other side is saying you might be surprised at the nuances.

                  But either way, I’m done. Ya’ll have fun bashing and judging me for disagree with you.

                • RowanVT

                  Hopefully you’ll take your own advice and think about what i said in a previous reply.

                  Love the sinner, hate the sin is not love in any way, shape, or form. And your ‘advice’ regarding clothes is the pathway to victim blaming.

                • lmern

                  What you’re implying, and what you assume is behaviour brought on by how a woman dresses isn’t accurate at all. Rape is incredibly prevalent in many cultures, including Muslim countries where the women are often covered from head to toe. The problem is with the men and how they’re brought up, ladycygnus. Rape culture is the problem. It is a perverse desire for dominance.

                  Just because you got some cat calls and unwanted advances in school from your revealing outfits doesn’t mean these men were fantasizing about hurting you. Men are entitled to appreciate the female form, and while it’s inappropriate to do so in crass or rude ways, it is completely within your right to wear whatever you want and expect to be treated with respect (so long as your behaviour reflects that).

                  Your perception of modesty is affected by your environment, upbringing, influences and so many other things. It really isn’t fair for you to lay down judgement on what is and isn’t ‘modest’ because your standards are influenced by personal experience. Your bleak view aside, you need to learn to appreciate someone for who they are, and not what they’re wearing. And just because you’ve met some crappy men, does NOT mean the majority are, as Feminerd said, slavering rape beasts.

            • Anat

              And who said dressing ‘immodestly’ is behaving as you ‘ought’ not to behave? And who determines what is ‘modest’? Generally ‘modest’ is ‘more covered than average’. There isn’t an objective measure for it. And by definition the ‘modesty standard’ will shift with the trends.

              A woman can be nude and be treated as smart and beautiful and respectable and what not. See nudist colonies. And a woman can wear a burka and be leered at.

              • ladycygnus

                The problem with immodesty isn’t that it reveals too much, but that it doesn’t reveal enough. If the focus becomes the persons body, instead of the entirety of the person, there is something wrong. The burka is immodest because it puts the focus on hiding the body. Revealing clothing is immodest because it puts the focus on revealing the body.

                The modest level of clothing veils what is necessary to reveal the person.

                • http://gamesgirlsgods.blogspot.com/ Feminerd

                  Yes but what is modest? What clothes “count” as modest? And why would you argue that revealing clothing puts the focus on the body, when maybe it’s just 110 F outside (45ish C) and no one wants to wear any clothes at all. Or maybe it’s freezing and that’s why a woman is wearing a big puffy coat that completely erases her body type.

                  It is you focusing on clothing and the body, policing what is and is not modest. We’re saying forget the clothing, just focus on the person.

                • Anat

                  Then the term ‘modest’ is even less meaningful than I thought. Because now we are in Humpty Dumpty territory. Why is it *necessary* to veil anything to reveal the person? It is a fact that different societies have different dress standards and what is considered revealing in one is not in another.

    • onamission5

      Never occurred to you that we could work to change messed up social attitudes toward girls and women instead of putting girls and woman into ever smaller, more restrictive boxes? That’s really sad.

      • ladycygnus

        I do not feel restricted by choosing to wear beautiful cloths over the current styles. I certainly do not feel restricted when most men speak to my face naturally instead of to my chest like they did before.
        Society in general treats women well. I work in an office and have the same level of respect and dignity as my male coworkers. I do not feel restricted when I dress in a way that respects my body and the tendencies of men to fail to do what they ought when they see certain things.

        • http://gamesgirlsgods.blogspot.com/ Feminerd

          Really? Our society doesn’t treat women well at all. Better than many, granted, but not well. I’ve read of female scientists from Europe complaining that in the US, they get treated as women or as scientists, but Americans can’t seem to figure out how to treat them as both. So they have to wear drab, boring clothes if they want to be respected at all, and if they dress up at all they are treated as though they are 1) looking for sexual attention, and 2) as though they are stupid even though they may be experts in their field. In Europe, they can wear that cute skirt or lacy shirt without it impacting how their colleagues treat them one bit, because they are treated as whole people in Europe.

          And yes, there are standards for business attire, of course. But those standards aren’t used to suppress style or personal preference or as excuses to demean women who stray from them in some detail.

          • ladycygnus

            Heard of? Interesting. My experience working in science was limited to the time I dressed immodestly – and I never worked in Europe – so I cannot comment based on my own anecdotal evidence. However, I often dress in lovely feminine skirts and tops and garner the same level of respect as when I simply wear slacks.

            But then again, I don’t equate “skirt longer than my crotch” with “drab”…do you?

            • http://gamesgirlsgods.blogspot.com/ Feminerd

              I’ll thank you not to assume you know anything about my personal clothes preferences or tastes, thankyouverymuch. A leading question that assumes that 1) I clearly think that “skirt longer than my crotch is drab”, 2) wearing miniskirts is a problem, or 3) wearing miniskirts means asking for inappropriate male attention is a very inappropriate question and terrible derailing technique. As a matter of fact, I do not wear miniskirts and I don’t think they’re usually very attractive pieces of clothing. If someone else wants to wear them, though, I see no problem with it.

              I am curious to know, though. What does immodest mean to you, and why do you think your definition is more correct than anyone else’s? Do your “lovely feminine skirts and tops” ever show cleavage? Shoulders? Knees? Shape of buttocks? Shape of breasts? Because if they do, I assure you that you are immodest by someone’s definition. Trying to be “modest enough” is a losing game.

              • ladycygnus

                I was asking a fairly honest question since I know a couple young ladies who think that if it’s not a mini or tights-as-pants the outfit is “drab”. I found it puzzling that the women you know only got respect when wearing “drab” clothing. I do not wear what I would consider drab and get the respect I deserve. Seemed fair to ask the definition of drab. Curious you were offended when you thought I considered you a miniskirt wearing lass – as if there was a problem with wearing miniskirts…

                It is fair to ask the definition of modest. I think the best “definition” I’ve heard is “if you have to adjust it all the time it’s probably not modest.” Since a miniskirt needs to be adjusted when you sit down, stand up, walk too far, etc, it would classify as not sufficient. Along the same lines – if you have to adjust things to hide your underwear, not classy.

                • FTP_LTR

                  The summarised dress code for our corporate social events, from one of our (female) directors is “If I can see up it, down it or through it, it’s probably not appropriate.

                  She was at pains to point out that this applied to the men just as much.

                • ladycygnus

                  Amen on the men need to be modest too. I want to treat the men around me as deserving respect and it’s really hard to do that when they are showing off their undies.

                • onamission5

                  Given the air of superiority you have displayed toward women you perceive as not conforming to your standards of dress, it’s safe to assume that Feminerd is responding to that, not to the assumption that ze wears miniskirts, but to the judgmental inference contained within your assumption.

                • ladycygnus

                  Judgmental superiority? Well, having run experiments, gathered data and analyzed the results I have come to a conclusion I believe to be true. Does thinking one is right constitute being judgmental?

                • onamission5

                  I’d love to see those studies, and the peer reviews, too. Care to share your sources?

                • ladycygnus

                  Are you saying you operate solely on peer reviewed data? You do not do any observations in your own life? You do not draw conclusions from the data that presents itself in the world around you?

                  That is what I’ve done, I’ve looked at the data available to me and come to conclusions I believe to be true. And the limited experiments of my life have so far upheld these conclusions.

                  But you did not answer my question. Is believing that you are right constitute being judgmental?

                • onamission5

                  You say you have data and studies from experiments you’ve run, and that is what you have based your conclusions upon. You’d like us to accept your conclusions. I’d like to see the studies first, so I can analyze the data for myself, rather than taking your word for it that your both methods and the conclusions drawn from your methodology are sound.

                • ladycygnus

                  Let me phrase this another way. Do you think you are right? Why?

                • onamission5

                  So no data from all your experiments and studies, then. Nothing to back up the claims you are making, just deflection and a refusal to provide sources for the you experiments claim to have run.

                • ladycygnus

                  {{head desk}} No. I’m sorry. I’m a horrible person for ever even considering using the word “data” and “experiment” outside of “peer reviewed study some jerk on the interwebs would think valid”.

                  However, that wasn’t my point. You’re so busy dancing on this supposed “win” that you are completely overlooking what I did say. One more time…

                  Yes I think I’m right. Based on my own observations I have come to these conclusions. There is nothing “judgmental” in thinking you are right. Damn it man, you THINK you are right and are “judging” me for stating my contrary conclusions. And what “evidence” do you have for your beliefs? The same evidence I have I suspect. Yet you “judge” me as judgmental.

                • onamission5

                  Is there some colloquial meaning of “…having run experiments, gathered data and analyzed the results I have come to a conclusion I believe to be true.” that I am unaware of? Somehow I highly doubt it.

                  I was not the one who claimed to have personally performed studies and analyzed data which backed up my claims, that was you, and if asking for what you claimed to have makes me a jerk, so be it. But here. Have some light reading anyway. The first two links relate directly to this conversation in a fairly basic way. The second two get a smidge deeper. Enjoy.

                  http://finallyfeminism101.wordpress.com/2009/10/19/rape-culture-101/

                  http://www.patheos.com/blogs/phoenixandolivebranch/2011/11/modesty-a-response-to-common-misunderstandings/

                  http://kar.kent.ac.uk/4545/1/viki_true_romantic.pdf

                  http://www.taasa.org/library/pdfs/TAASALibrary30.pdf

                • lmern

                  If it is your own life experiences you’re basing your ideas on, please do not refer to them as ‘experiments’, ‘data gathering’ or ‘analysis’.

                • Anat

                  Thinking one’s experiences apply to everyone is judgmental. Thinking one’s chosen response to one’s circumstances is the right thing for everyone is judgmental.

                • http://gamesgirlsgods.blogspot.com/ Feminerd

                  Got it in one! Thanks onamission5, I was spluttering with anger and the only things out of my fingers for a bit were a whole lot of cussing and ranting.

                • onamission5

                  I had to rewrite a few times due to a hefty number of indignant swears of my own. If that comment had been directed at me? Holy rage typing in the face of rape apologia, I don’t think I’d have been remotely comprehensible.

                • ladycygnus

                  Well, I didn’t realize that my distaste for a certain style of clothing would offend others so badly. I suppose you think I “judge” those who wear that clothing because I find that style wretched. Well, I don’t. I can manage to think a style is gross without thinking the young women wearing it is deserving of derision or scorn.

                  I know it’s not common to do nowadays, but you really can believe an action is wrong without thinking that the person is defined by that one action. You even insist on this for how else do you suppose a man is supposed to see a woman as not defined by the clothing she wears?

                • onamission5

                  By paying attention to her personality, her words, and her actions, maybe? By seeing her as a person with feelings, needs, opinions and boundaries, rather than as a walking billboard based on nothing more than clothing, and sexist assumptions about that clothing? People do it all the time, this whole caring about the person inside the clothes instead of assuming that external trappings convey the entire depth of the individual.

                • http://gamesgirlsgods.blogspot.com/ Feminerd

                  I was not offended you thought I wore miniskirts. I was offended that you presumed to judge me because you thought I wore miniskirts. It is the judging, not the presumption, that is offensive.

                  And trust me, there are things I own that I don’t have to adjust at all that probably don’t meet your definition of modest. Fishnet stockings, for example. Long skirts slit up to here, for another example. While I’ve never been daring enough to do it, electric tape over the nipples and nothing else on top (well, maybe a fishnet shirt) is not uncommon at the clubs I go to. No adjustment necessary! On the other hand, I have several shirts that probably do fit your definition of modest that I have to constantly fiddle with, because I’m simply not busty enough to properly fill them out so they don’t quite fit right.

                  I’ll also note that short shorts don’t require any adjustment, latex bodysuits don’t require any adjustment (and cover just about everything), yoga pants don’t require adjustment, skin-tight denim leggings don’t require any adjustment, bustiers and corsets can’t really be adjusted once tightened … based on what you’ve said so far, I’m pretty sure you don’t find those modest at all. Your definition has a few holes in it.

                  Do please also answer my questions from above. Do your “lovely feminine skirts and tops” ever show cleavage? Shoulders? Knees? Shape of buttocks? Shape of breasts? Would others judge you immodest as you judge others?

                • ladycygnus

                  Good points. And this is where the discussion fails, just as discussion of what constitutes porn versus art fails. Porn obscures the beauty of the human subject, making an object to be used – the same with immodesty. Where as modesty and art reveal the beauty of the human so that it becomes a subject to be known.

                  What is the exact, to the letter, definition of this? It depends on the culture and person. However there is a point where something becomes objectively, for that situation, immodest.

                • lmern

                  It was very clearly with derision that you ‘accused’ her of wearing mini skirts. No need to pander here.

          • Anna

            This is interesting, particularly the standards for business attire. It seems to me that society should have uniform standards for men and women. When women are encouraged to dress more provocatively than men, it makes them targets for the modesty police, and it becomes a lot easier for certain people to accuse them of dressing that way in order to attract sexual attention.

            Much like the fashion industry itself, having different standards seems to perpetuate a great deal of sexism. I don’t agree with the comments Ladycygnus has made, but I feel very uncomfortable when I see women being encouraged to dress in skimpy outfits in a professional context because it seems to perpetuate the idea that society in general sees them as sexual objects, and that in order to be considered feminine or attractive, they have to expose their bodies to the world.

            • http://gamesgirlsgods.blogspot.com/ Feminerd

              Agreed. Though the feeling I got was that they *could* dress in attractive (not even skimpy!) outfits at home, not that they felt compelled to do so.

            • lmern

              Agreed. I had to shop at Sirens (Slutty club wear store) for clothes for a waitressing job I held for, not surprisingly, a short period of time. I had to buy those sticky beige strapless bras to wear because I couldn’t wear conventional ones beneath the barely there shirts.

              However, the patrons at the restaurant were incredibly friendly and often wealthy (it was a pretty high end place) so I got great tips, and no one ever made me feel awkward about how I was dressed. I love my boobs. If they did too, they were gentlemen about it.

              • Anna

                That’s definitely one of those things. Society considers it acceptable for restaurants to demand that waitresses wear “barely there” shirts, while I’m sure male waiters were not forced into anything that revealed their bodies to the public. I wonder what would have happened if you had stated that you were uncomfortable with the uniform and asked to wear the same shirt that the men wore.

                • lmern

                  Well, there were no men working there other than the owner, and the chef. It was a small place, and it was only myself and a girlfriend who had gotten me the job, and she adored the place and the attention. But, it would have been interesting if I had asked to wear more covered clothes. When I started working there, I didn’t have such revealing things, and my friend took me out to buy some after a couple weeks. I have to assume either she was asked to do so by the owner, or she felt my wardrobe was too boring for the demands of the job.

        • Anat

          Society does not treat men and women equally well. In Science men have the freedom to dress up or down as they wish – whether it’s business suits or the raggedy look. But women at faculty or faculty-equivalent levels can’t afford to dress down or they are not taken seriously. Lucky me – I am out of the rat race, so I can wear jeans and sweats all the time.

    • Pitabred

      Yes, the clothing you choose is part of the image you project. Everyone gets that.

      That doesn’t mean that men should get a free pass because “she was asking for it” by the way she dresses. Part of the issue is that it’s socially accepted behavior, to treat a woman like an object if she dresses a certain way. Women are never objects, even if you disapprove of the image they’re projecting for themselves. The fact that it’s used as an excuse is the issue, for both genders.

      • ladycygnus

        Thank you for the reasonable reply. I don’t think men should get a free pass, I certainly don’t think it should be socially acceptable to treat a woman badly if she dresses a certain way. However, I also don’t think we’ll be able to completely change society such that men will ALWAYS do what they ought to do. I can’t even change myself such that *I* always do what I ought to do – how can I expect everyone else to change to fit my standard of decent behavior?

        • Pitabred

          No, not always. But we do need social pressure to effect any change, and excusing that kind of behavior as “boys will be boys” doesn’t help. The point is that saying women should dress less provocatively is victim-blaming. If we make it clear that that kind of behavior is inappropriate, there’s no secondary “but it’s OK if she was asking for it” cultural undercurrent that offsets that message.

          Blaming women for their clothing also has the effect of making men not responsible for their actions, which we should not be in favor of in a society. Men are people too, we should be expected to be able to behave, no matter how people are dressed.

          Edit: Holy bad grammar, batman

          • ladycygnus

            But it also weakens the woman saying that she is completely helpless. That what happens to her is completely out of her control and totally a product of the rape culture. Saying to her that she should be able to wear whatever she wants and men ought to treat her kindly – yet knowing that men will NOT do what they ought – purposefully puts women in harms way just so people can tut-tut the “rape culture” when she is treated badly.

            Why not empower her to dress in a way that doesn’t immediately turn a man’s mind to sex? Empower her to realize that men do respond to certain visual stimulus so that she can have a measure of control on her environment and won’t just be a token victim.

            • FTP_LTR

              Short version of something I’ve tried twice to post. Disqus hates me today:

              Advice to men: Don’t be an asshole; don’t let other men be assholes.

              Advice to women: Some men are still assholes; Be aware, but don’t put up with it.

            • http://gamesgirlsgods.blogspot.com/ Feminerd

              Have you seen the picture of men leering at a Saudi woman’s ankle? There is literally nothing a woman can wear that won’t turn a man’s mind to sex if he’s been taught that all women are good for is sex. Here is an excellent post on why modesty isn’t the answer.

              You counter that by teaching everyone the truly radical notion that women are people too.

            • lmern

              “Why not empower her to dress in a way that doesn’t immediately turn a man’s mind to sex?”

              smh :/ this… this is just pathetic.

            • baal

              The better solution is to tell women to wear whatever they like (and for them to wear skimpy some of the time) and to tell everyone (but especially men) that they can look but not harass. That’s distinction between a clothing semi-optional beach in France vs Burqua’s in Iraq (taken a step to the extreme in both directions).

              This dual message is also why ignored or mildly appreciated co-eds tanning on the mall at college and my Pakistani friend was nervously averting his gaze, taking other routes or quickly running off to a private space.

              Kowtowing to the ‘cover up’ line simply leads to the less optimal outcomes.

              EDIT: see also Feminerd’s link to Libby Anne’s take on modesty.

    • ICan’tEven

      ‘Just as I don’t go for a stroll through the bad part of town late at night, so I don’t expose my body to be used by any man I happen to pass.’

      Because all bad things can be prevented if you don’t dress slutty and stay in the good parts of town. [/heavy sarcasm]

    • Anat

      This is BS. Men who don’t get that women are people will find any reason to mistreat a woman. Either they catcall or complain that she is a cockblocking-lesbian-feminist. It is pointless to adjust one’s behavior to such types. They are just bullies who will never be pleased.

      As for not going for a stroll in the ‘bad’ part of town – so what are people who live in the ‘bad’ part of town supposed to do? IOW your class privilege is showing.

    • allein

      “Why is an observation of reality considered a condoning of reality?”

      Part of it is the fact that he’s doesn’t seem to be telling the guys not to treat women this way, he’s only telling the girls that they will be treated this way. A boy can easily pick up the message that it’s ok to treat those women this way because they are asking for it with the way they dress.

      • ladycygnus

        THIS is a fair reply. If there is really nothing on the website about boys choosing to be men and protecting women around them – no matter how they are dressed, then YES this speaker is wrong. But he is wrong NOT in what he said, but what he didn’t say.

  • Little_Magpie

    So I was looking at the pics from his Facebook page because other people were commenting about it in another post, him making weird faces when he poses with students, and one of his pics was of a screenshot of a weather forecast for Winnipeg, for a trip there back in the winter. And saying, I don’t know how I’ll survive that, I’m a Texas boy, and I’m thinking, yeah, how about you just don’t go, keep your toxic crap out of my country, a**hole.

    • http://springygoddess.blogspot.com/ Astreja

      Ah, Winnipeg in January! We’re a weird lot up here — Even if the daily high is -29°C you’ll still find schoolkids walking around without hats, and a few people buying Slurpees at the 7-Eleven.

      • Little_Magpie

        I will happily admit that us Torontonians are much more whiny and wussy about winter than many of our compatriots.

        My parents and I were visiting someone in her home in Texas between xmas and new years, it was pushing 20C that day (having been somewhat cooler the past few days) and she commented about it being the first day all week they hadn’t needed to have the heat on. Whaaa? And I’d spent the previous few days happily going around in a jean jacket.
        I know, I know, it’s all what you’re used to, but in what universe do you feel having the heat on in the house is absolutely necessary at 15C?

  • Someone who knows how to write

    It’s more than, not “more…then”…back to school for you, kid

    • JohnnieCanuck

      Now all we have left to do is teach you how to use Disqus to reply properly. Then you can change your ‘nym to ‘Someone who knows how to write properly and make comments appear in the right place’.

      Also, you forgot a period.

  • Noelle

    I had no idea that doing math homework was an option for getting out of attending HS assemblies. Where were you 20 years ago? None of our assemblies were quite this awful. I mean, they were more early scenes of places where Carrie would lose her cool. But that’s just Americana.

    And oh dear, if I learned anything that I’d like to pass on to the young folks on relationships is use your words. If you like the shy boy, you should let him know. Asking him out will make you both more dateable.

  • rg57

    “Because when a guy treats a girl like shit, it’s her fault.”

    Stop putting words in other people’s mouths, Hemant, and be honest.

    If you dress for a role, you may get the part. That’s more in line with what he’s saying. And that part of what he said is absolutely true. We see how you dress. You’re taking his advice, and not your own. Interesting.

    • Martin Wagner

      You’re suggesting that women who dress a certain way are deliberately dressing for the role of rape victim.

      Nice to meet you, you victim-blaming misogynist douche. You and Justin should get along like a house on fire.

    • RowanVT

      So tell me, lookadouche clone, how would me dressing in a short skirt *make* a man sexually assault me? Does the skirt reach out and grab him by the dick? Does the skirt infiltrate his brain like a parasite and alter his thinking?

      • http://gamesgirlsgods.blogspot.com/ Feminerd

        Oh the mental images! Why, RowanVT, why?!

        • RowanVT

          Because I have that mental image whenever someone blames a woman based on her clothing choice. If clothing choices can “cause” a man to rape me, that clearly means that my clothing made that man rape me, which means something about my clothes forced him to do something against his will.

          And if I have to have that mental image, damnit, I’m going to share the pain!

      • Pitabred

        It’s totally true. Speaking as a man, I have absolutely no control over my own actions or behavior, and am completely subservient to my whims and random thoughts. I tell you, it’s hard to NOT think about running over pedestrians…

        • http://gamesgirlsgods.blogspot.com/ Feminerd

          Katamari damacy nah nah nah nah nah nah.

          • RowanVT

            arrrrrrrrrgh………. You have had your revenge!

            • http://gamesgirlsgods.blogspot.com/ Feminerd

              :P

  • Martin Wagner

    You know, if we put Justin Lookadouche together with that Romeo Rose/Sleepless in Austin guy, it would be like DOUCHECEPTION!

  • Insanitydividedby0

    I have a large chest so it makes it difficult to dress to cover it without looking like a bag lady so according to him, the way I dress makes me a piece of meat. I suppose I should be mad at my boyfriend of 5 years for treating me like a piece of meat. Thanks Lookadouche for showing me the light!

  • Moose McNuggets

    My wife asked me out initially. That was over twenty years ago. Shows what #Lookadouche knows about successful relationships.

  • FTP_LTR

    Some elements of his advice are – surprisingly – quite good, but they are the rare kernel of corn in the turd. They apply equally well to men and women:

    “Dress for your body. Get clothes that work with what you’ve got.”

    “[People] will have a tendency to treat you how you dress.”

    “Dateable [people] know how to shut up. They don’t monopolize the conversation.”

  • Rain

    District officials said Lookadoo spoke to the school in 2009 and no one complained then, as if that’s an excuse to be let off the hook now.

    Yeah and “district officials” would be the first ones to yell at students for having a lame excuse like their lame excuse of an excuse. Way to lead by example, district officials.

    • Rain

      Does anybody know if the district officials also said that their dogs ate their homework? It wouldn’t surprise me at all.

  • nominalize

    School districts in this part of the country often bring in basically speakers with religious messages, who tweak them a bit to be safe for secular schools. Constantly. Even the Power Team

    Some of you will know what I’m talking about. The Power Team is a group of strongmen who’d perform amazing feats of physical prowess, such as bending steel bars, breaking towers of bricks, and so forth, and say it was only possible because they don’t do drugs (they meant dope, not steroids). Then at the end they’d do a plug to come see them again later tonight at the Assembly of God church. No mention as to why we’d come see them when we just had, but basically, they’re actually a Christian strongman group who goes around saying their feats are possible through the power of Christ.

    Dollars to donuts this guy just happened to have another gig in town at a local church, where being dateable really comes down to living Christ’s message or something. The “women, be chaste lest you be raped and shamed” bit is part-and-parcel with modern evangelical Christianity, and making it about being “dateable” is the secular tweak.

    • onamission5

      I remember the Power Team. They were invited to perform at my middle school all the way back in the early 80′s. The next weekend, they came and performed at my church’s youth group.
      No concerns there, nope, nothing to see. /sarcasm

  • kenhowes

    And Hemant Mehta is such a great example for our youth. He isn’t bothered by the proposition that this guy might have some retrograde ideas about gender roles. He’s bothered by the proposition that this guy might be a Christian. He has his own agenda with which he wants to indoctrinate young people.

    • lmern

      That’s all you took from this article? For shame. You should read the comments to gauge what others took away. You would quickly find the majority were mostly unconcerned about his Religious leanings.

      In fact, if you had read the article (which I suspect you didn’t since you’re making baseless assumptions), you would find Hemet calling this man a Christian, (and so far as I can tell, theres nothing wrong with that since the man identifies and proudly declares himself as such) with evidence to suggest that his Religious feelings were/are used to manipulate and harm young people. Maybe you should try reading before touting your BS?

      I would go further to say you must have taken a wrong turn on the internet somewhere, because if your idea of Hemet is that he has got his own ‘agenda’ of indoctrinating youth (with what, skepticism logic and critical thinking?) then you clearly don’t know much about this page, what it’s about, or the community. So what is it exactly you don’t understand?

      Use that brain of yours. Your ancestors toiled tirelessly for millions of years to survive and turn into what eventually became you. You do them a great disservice.

  • http://justdfacsmaam.wordpress.com/ MarkNS

    This what not a “mistake” by the PTA or the school. They knew this guy was a vile Christian and that fit their agenda. The wording of the not-pology of the PTA leader makes this obvious. They’re just surprised, as Christians often are in the 21st century, that people dared to speak up against him. The religious are ill-equipped to deal with people who have acces to information and the technology to share it.

  • Sapphire Possible

    This is absolutely shameful? Maybe he should walk a mile in a woman’s shoes, while listening to his BS, and see how harmful his “advice” really is.

  • rebecca

    Why risd is even concerned with the highschool kids being “dateable” is beyond me. Risd should be concerned with their kids education. Put a group of highscool kids together and they are all “dateable” weather they are sensative males or non girly girls, there’s going to be someone who likes people for their differances. This makes me so upset.


CLOSE | X

HIDE | X