Pssst, Michelle: I Think Jesus Is Involved Somehow

Our Nanny-in-Chief has repurposed the most important day on the Christian calender, the celebration of the risen Christ, into some kind of nutritional Nuremberg Rally, calling the White House Easter Egg Roll (mmmm, eggroll) a “celebration of nutrition and health and activity.”

Because everything has to be jammed through your little agenda, Shelly.

Here’s the whole thing. (Bonus!: See if you can spot the missing word in the following. Aw, you can do it without even reading, I bet.)

Remarks by the President and First Lady at the 2013 White House Easter Egg Roll

THE PRESIDENT: This is Jessica Sanchez, everybody! Give her a big round of applause. (Applause.) Kid President — give Kid President a big round of applause. (Applause.) The Easter Bunny is here. Give the Easter Bunny a big round of applause. (Applause.)

It is wonderful to see all of you. And I just want to say welcome. You guys brought the great weather. It was a little shaky this morning, but all of you did a great job sending a message upstairs, and now we’ve got beautiful weather.

And I now want to introduce the star of the Obama family, my wife, the First Lady, Michelle Obama. (Applause.)

MRS. OBAMA: Thank you, Mr. President. Thank you, Kid President, Robbie Novak. Isn’t he wonderful? (Applause.) Robbie, we’re so proud to have you here. You have been so inspiring. I can’t imagine that there’s anyone who hasn’t seen your video, right? You make us all want to work hard and be better. That’s right. So you’re going to spend a little time in the Oval Office just fixing things up for this President, aren’t you? All right, well, it’s good to have you here.

And it’s great to have everyone here this morning. We are so excited. The Easter Egg Roll is the biggest event that we have here on the South Lawn of the White House each year. Today we’re going to have more than 30,000 people who will pass through this yard in celebration of nutrition and health and activity. And we could not do this if it were not for all of our wonderful volunteers, our staff, all of the terrific performers and athletes who have taken time out of their lives and their busy days to make this important. So we need to give all of them a round of applause for all their hard work. (Applause.) Yes, indeed!

So today, we want you to have a great time. We want you to run around. We want you to go over and see the White House Garden. We want you to learn about making tasty, healthy food. We’re going to come down and do some Easter egg roll. We’re going to read some stories. But overall, we want you guys to have a good time and keep moving and be healthy. And, kids, eat your vegetables, okay?

All right, you all, take care. We’ll see you down there. Bye-bye. Thank you. (Applause.)

“Eat your vegetables”: the motto of the Democratic Party.

About Thomas L. McDonald

Thomas L. McDonald writes about technology, theology, history, games, and shiny things. Details of his rather uneventful life as a professional writer and magazine editor can be found in the About tab.

  • Randy Hensley

    I’ve read a bit of your stuff. I didn’t find anything very interesting. I won’t be back.

  • Anne

    Not even to see if somebody responded?

  • The Best Revenge

    I’ve read a lot of your stuff. I find a lot of it interesting. Be back tomorrow.

  • Marye

    I’ve read your post. It wasn’t very interesting. So long!

  • Gary Chapin

    Catholics don’t like vegetables?

  • Thomas L. McDonald

    I’ll miss you terribly, but in time, with therapy, the wounds will heal and I’ll move on with my life, treasuring the fleeting moments we’ve had together.

  • Thomas L. McDonald

    I already got a mamma.

  • Ashley

    You should catalog all the innocuous things that enrage you. I suspect most of them will be things that are not specifically focused on you or your personal enthusiasms.

  • Thomas L. McDonald

    Where’s the rage? This is simple mockery of a wretched woman. Is mockery now rage?

  • MaryMargaret

    Wow, who are all these people? Many normal, rational people read a blog post, don’t find it interesting and then just click away from the blog. I personally only comment when I have something to say, be it positive, negative or questioning. BTW, Love the blog, Thomas.

  • Thomas L. McDonald


  • victor

    I think you must have found yourself on some sort of passive-agressive liberal spam commenter list tonight. Or something.

    And I think the full motto works better: Kids, eat your vegetables.

  • Chesire Cat11

    What a remarkably immature little post, and something I would hope not to find on a Catholic blog. It reads as if it had been composed on a playground with all of the charity of a smug schoolyard taunt.

    Catholicism is about conversion, repentance and ultimately redemption, not mockery, derision and condemnation. Should the First Lady be above criticism for usurping the Eastern message “He is risen” for an otherwise laudible message? Of course not, but Catholic criticism must have as its object the building up of its subject, not tearing down, or the venting of personal irritation. Don’t like what the First Lady said or did? By all means criticize her, but only if you are sincere enough in faith to inform it with charitable solicitude and respect for the dignity of the person, lest a sound statement become an occasion of sin.

    Christian criticism calls a person to his or her better self. It’s difficult and none of us gets it right all of the time, but it the duty of every one of us as Catholics, and that goes double for those who take put themselves forward as informal spokesmen and women for the faith.

  • Thomas L. McDonald

    Oh please, just give it a rest. “Charitable solicitude and respect for the dignity of the person, lest a sound statement become an occasion of sin.” That’s what you derive from a little mockery of a puffed up harridan lecturing us peons in between her half-million-dollar monthly vacations? Putting aside the thudding pomposity of your comment, it’s just reading way too much into a minor throwaway post. Lighten up, already.

  • Thomas L. McDonald

    No kidding. Something is driving a new audience into this post.

    I need to make a list of people who’ve been hating me over the past week:

    1. Obama fanciers.
    2. Trads.
    3. Passive aggressives.
    3.5. Passive aggressive trads.
    4. Pearl clutching Caths prone to the vapors. (Overlapping with the above.)
    5. Vegetarians.
    6. Terrorists.
    7. Atheists.
    8. The Irish.

    How does Shea manage it?

  • victor

    Don’t feed the trolls. They aren’t reading your post (the Obamabots are copy/pasting replies from God only knows what site); you shouldn’t bother reading their comments.

  • victor

    I’m not sure, but you were DEAD ON about the Irish.

  • Maggie

    Same here!

  • deiseach

    You insulted the Irish? Being a passive-aggressive (mildly) traditional Catholic who can be prone to fits of the vapours Irishwoman, how did I miss this?

    I demand the same rights as Randy, Marye (with an “e”, I note) and Ashley to be offended, outraged, and given an opportunity to announce that I intend to leave in high dudgeon and a huff – make that a minute and a huff if I get stuck :-)

  • deiseach

    Cat, the first thing you think of when someone mentions Easter is “Oh boy, health and nutrition!”? When a child is invited for an Easter egg hunt, they should expect “Easter egg” to mean “cauliflower”?

    Look, there is no reason why a campaign for healthy eating (especially where children are involved) cannot be headed up by the President’s wife or Prime Minister’s wife or the Duchess of Cambridge or any other woman whose position in political life depends on to whom she is married. But Easter Sunday, even if we leave out the Christian meaning, is not about “Let’s all get out there and exercise and eat our broccoli”, it’s about yummy, yummy chocolate. For one day in the calendar they couldn’t go with the national sentiment?

  • Jack

    The other post was funny as well. Making April 1 national atheist day.

  • Thomas L. McDonald

    In the post called “Do You Remember Bobby Sands” I said the IRA were terrorists.

    I know! It’s a horrible thing to call people who planted bombs that killed civilians, but I guess I’m just funny that way. For what it’s worth, my mother got in an argument with me on Easter for making the same point. She the Provos were just–wait for it–fighting for their freedom.

    My people! I think the cumulative effects of centuries of drinking, fighting, and complaining about the English has finally destroyed our brains.

  • Adam

    I totally didn’t realize that was an April Fool’s joke until I read this. I actually thought April 1st was National Atheist Day, and I also thought, “Hm, I wonder why I haven’t seen any mention of this anywhere else?”


  • Tristan Vick

    I agree with what tom mcdonald said above, this post, like everything else he writes, is throw-away.

  • E. Hoyt

    Dear Mr. McDonald – Since you turned off the comments on your post about atheists, I’m afraid I must respond here. You say atheists “…live lives of sad desperation caught in a meaningless universe…”. I can’t speak for other atheists, but as for me I must correct you, as my life is neither sad nor desperate, and I do not find the universe meaningless. I lead a happy, productive life. I love my friends and family. I support a number of charities. I find my world and the universe in general to be a constant source of awe and inspiration. While I do not share their beliefs, I have the greatest respect for people of faith. I make it a point not to characterize their beliefs in a demeaning fashion. It would be awfully nice if you could extend atheists the same courtesy. Thank you.

  • Slow Learner

    Bravo sir, well said. Of course, Mr McDonald will be too busy attacking Michelle Obama (or as he calls her “Shelly” – they must be close friends) to respond to any reasoned criticism.

  • OverlappingMagisteria

    Well, I think that comparing health and nutrition awareness during an Easter egg event to Nazi Germany might be interpreted as rage my many people. Unless Nazism is meant to be taken light-heartedly in your mind?

  • Timothy Brannan

    I am an atheist and I have a great life. Judging by the content of your posts I am also happier than you.

  • arensb

    I love how you accuse the FLOTUS of jamming everything through a “little agenda” in a post complaining that she doesn’t mention Jesus enough.

  • James H

    Wow! Loved your diatribe on atheist! But I must say that it is painfully obvious that you have not met many. It is my experience that “most atheists” are atheists because we were raised in families without religion, not because we have “seen an ugly side of religion and religious people…suffered….lost…..lied to… etc”. None of the atheist I know “search for answers” or don’t “really..not believe in atheism”. Most, like me, grew up without religious indoctrination and have, out of curiosity, examined the myriad of religious beliefs and have found them to be based upon implausible tales, all of which claim to be the “Truth”. You keep loving your Jesus, and feel free to continue to tell people how he died for your sins, but please, keep the arrogance to yourself as well as your uniformed generalizations.

  • BlazerJason

    Actually, April Fools Day coincided with Easter Monday this year. And it has and will occur on various Christian holy days associated with a man coming back from the dead and flying up into the sky like some kind of bird or rocket, I guess. You might want to look inward before calling other people fools, you could end up looking, well, foolish.

  • Thomas L. McDonald

    Outraged at being denied a chance to vent their outrage and call me names on the Happy National Atheist Day! Post, fundamentalist atheist zealots are strolling into other posts to register their ire, some of them using full sentences! Way to go Team Atheist!

    I’m going to keep shutting down comments on posts adjacent to the original, just to see how far I can roll them through my site before they realize I get paid by the pageview.