Christian Parents Angry About Talking To Their Kid

Lazy eye Jesus

 

Taunton, MA – A lot is going well in this Massachusetts city. Unemployment is down. Inflation is low. And yet the disturbing shadow of modernity is casting its pall over the McJesus family.

Dad is Andrew McJesus. He is almost forty and works as a local carpenter’s apprentice. Julie McJesus is Mom. She’s a stay at home entrepreneur who has a great online store for handmade Jesus inspired cat toys. Little Jesus McJesis is seven and in 2nd grade.  All was going well in this family until one day Little Jesus walked in the door and said he was “confused.”

Mom wondered where he learned such a word. She quickly looked through her Dictionary of Baptist Approved Words. Much to her horror confused wasn’t there.

While Little Jesus ate his snack of sardines and mini loaves of bread, Mom called Dad at work. He immediately sped home to face the emergency head on.

The two parents sat down at the kitchen table and asked their child what he was confused about. They got their answer.

It was the worst case scenario.

“In school, Alex is a boy one day and the next they wear a dress,” he replied. “Sometimes I get confused about that.”

Instead of telling their child something along the lines of “That’s just how some people feel,” and launching into an age appropriate discussion how important it to accept people for who they are, the couple immediately got on their knees and prayed.

“The Bible tells us prayer is the answer,” stated Dad.

When Mom McJesus began praying in tongues, that’s when the seven-year-old put away his dishes. He knew when she got like that it could be a while before it stopped. He’s only seven but Jesus thinks there should be pills for that.

After finishing their prayer extended jam, Dad and Mom went about their nightly routines. Dad read the Christian Post and then told Mom the news he considered she needed to know. Mom happily cooked up dinner.

Over dinner, Little Jesus stated again, “I was confused about Alex, but I guess it’s no big deal.”

This time Mom and Dad got on their knees and they both prayed in tongues.

This prayer session lasted well after their child put himself to bed. Mom and Dad sat quietly for a few moments. They then shared how frustrated they were about that word confused. Christians need to be sure, not confused. Following advice they got from their minister, Reverend Andrew Canard, Mom and Dad expressed other feelings. They made a list of things they were angry about.

  • Why should they need to talk about such things with their kid?
  • That school is catering to Satan. Satan wants boys in dresses.
  • They still get weird looks from other parents. Sure, they changed their names to McJesus a few weeks ago, but that’s what God told them to do. God wanted to keep their Irish heritage as well as tell the world they follow him.

Dad decided to get his lawyer friend at The Apostolic Law Center to write the school a strongly worded letter about boys in dresses and that word confused. Both parents agreed that if they pray hard and pay the lawyers enough, then they won’t have to talk to Little Jesus until puberty.

 

*This Poe is based on a true story. Read about it here.

 


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Me!!Andrew Hall is the author of Laughing in Disbelief. Besides writing a blog, co-hosting the Naked Diner, he wrote two books, Vampires, Lovers, and Other Strangers and God’s Diary: January 2017 . Andrew is reading through the Bible and making videos about his journey on YouTube. He is a talented stand-up comedian. You can find him on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

 

 


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