20 Things On A Beta Male’s To-Do List

20 Things On A Beta Male’s To-Do List March 10, 2018



  1. Not bothering girlfriend for sex immediately upon waking up. She needs to catch up on her sleep.
  2. Not staring at a woman’s breasts for the entirety of the conversation.
  3. Not eye-f*cking random women at the club. (It’s not sexy. It’s creepy and date-rapey.)
  4. Staring in disbelief while in the men’s room as alpha-males refuse to wash their hands after using the toilet.
  5. Hanging out with your kids even when it’s not their birthdays or a major holiday.
  6. Hanging out with your cat.
  7. Learning your kid’s choice of pronouns.
  8. Listening to a Sam Harris-Jordan Peterson podcast for five minutes and then realizing Sam Harris needs someone to moderate Sam Harris and Jordan Peterson.
  9. Realizing that your waiter could be an alt-right lumberjack and a Civil War reenactor.
  10. Doing something with kale.
  11. Saying something crazy like, “I don’t know the answer to that question.”
  12. Thinking comedian Joe Rogan is hanging out with too many MMA guys.
  13. Giving an apology to that person who you have wronged.
  14. Putting the toilet seat lid down.
  15. Cleaning your own dishes.
  16. Doing your own laundry.
  17. Not having your girlfriend buy all your underwear.
  18. Waiting for a few seconds in order to gather your thoughts before commenting online
  19. And when you do comment online, you check primary sources before hitting return.
  20. Not looking at a carton of really old expired milk and thinking I can do this!



I have a Patreon account just in case you wish to show your appreciation for my work here on Laughing in Disbelief.



Me!!Andrew Hall is the author of Laughing in Disbelief. Besides writing a blog, co-hosting the Naked Diner, he wrote two books, Vampires, Lovers, and Other Strangers and God’s Diary: January 2017 . Andrew is reading through the Bible and making videos about his journey on YouTube. He is a talented stand-up comedian. You can find him on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.


Stay in touch! Like Laughing in Disbelief on Facebook:


"Trump: "I'm Not the President of the Globe," Embraces Flat-Earth Conspiracy"

President Trump Orders Bicycle Lanes Demolished
"Unlikely, since this movement is attacking early indoctrination into irrational belief systems. There is nothing ..."

Iceland Raises Age Of Religious Consent ..."
"Trump seems to me like the kind of right-wing, ignorant, overweight, bully-boy who would happily ..."

President Trump Orders Bicycle Lanes Demolished

Browse Our Archives

Follow Us!

What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment