Brett Kavanaugh And OJ Simpson Search For The Real Criminals

Brett Kavanaugh And OJ Simpson Search For The Real Criminals September 28, 2018
Brett Kavanaugh’s offers his best impression of an angry bowl of corn chowder. And OJ approves.

 

Vowing to bring the real criminals to justice, Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh and Orenthal James “O.J.” Simpson are joining forces. The two men are to star in a new FOX reality show where the two scour the country for the man who attempted to rape Christine Blasey Ford and the individual who killed Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman.

But Are The Real Criminals Still Free?

Yes, the man who sexually assaulted Christine Blasey Ford back in 1982 is as free as an affluent white man about to get a really powerful job and just happens to be guilty of sexual assault. The individual who killed Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman back in 1994 has yet to face justice for that crime.

FOX’s Great Expectations

Andrew Canard is the executive producer for the yet-unnamed reality show. He has high hopes for ratings as well as high hopes for justice. “What viewers are going to love is how O.J. passionately  searches for Christine Blasey Ford’s attacker and how Kavanaugh is relentless in finding the real killers,” he said.

Mr. Canard is confident both of his stars are so mentally unstable every episode will feature some sort of emotional outburst. “I don’t want to give anything away, but Brett Kavanaugh loves to mention how senators have ‘replaced advice and consent with search and destroy’ while sexually assaulting women.” Mr. Canard refused to comment on the hijinks “The Juice” gets into. He did shudder a bit and babbled something about the editors of the series having their work cut out for them.

Republican Senators Weigh In

When asked what they thought about the new show, most Republican senators voiced excitement over watching Brett Kavanaugh play a modern-day Sherlock Holmes. However, all the male Republican senators suggested the show not feature women who were sexually assaulted because they come off as “whiny” and “shrill.”

Oh, and they weren’t too interested in the segments with “the black guy.”

 

 

How about buying your humble servant (that’s me!) a coffee? 

 


Andrew Hall is the author of Laughing in Disbelief. Besides writing a blog, co-hosting the Naked Diner, he wrote two books, Vampires, Lovers, and Other Strangers and God’s Diary: January 2017  Andrew is reading through the Bible and making videos about his journey on YouTube. He is a talented stand-up comedian. You can find him on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

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