The Canadian Broadcasting Corporation (CBC) posted this odd but true story ‘Christianity is not on trial’: baby custody case pits B.C. zealots against state.  I don’t want to bury the lede on this one. The couple spoke in tongues in court to a stuffed lion who they claimed was giving them direct counsel from God. You don’t need to know anything else about the couple to know they are cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs (and Jesus). This could’ve been a garden… Read more

  Author of 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos and Christian conservative, Professor Jordan Peterson is releasing Sassy, a clothing and cosmetics line aimed at the professional woman. Sassy is the unlikely product of the strictly heterosexual pairing of Professor Peterson and fashion designer Andrew Canard. Both men were struggling with women wearing whorish makeup and clothing in the workplace. “I don’t mind women wearing red lipstick to sexually arouse men at work,” stated Mr. Canard. “What men will not… Read more

The Devil’s Den, Australia Speaking to a crowd at the Semi-Annual Meeting of Young Earth Creationists, Flat Earthers, and Crystal Coke Revivalists (YEAFECCR), Dr. William H. Hornstooth disclosed new research that shows men’s nipples were used to suckle dinosaurs. For three hours, thirty-three minutes, and fifteen seconds Dr. Hornstooth rocked the alternative scientific conference in his lecture titled, The Use and Abuse of Male Nippleage. New evidence conclusively reveals that the period between the expulsion from the Garden of Eden… Read more

Washington DC – The Supreme Court ruled  5-4 today in favor of a Jewish deli’s right not to serve a Christian due to religious convictions. The incident initially occurred at Laitman’s Deli in Brookline, Massachusetts. Mrs. Kelly placed her regular order at the counter. While waiting, she decided to be spontaneous and ordered a pound of lox. Mort Jr. was manning the slicer. He remarked how much Mrs. Kelly and her husband were going to love the thinly sliced delicacy. It… Read more

  Howie in the Hills. Florida – Reverend Braxton R. Bragg of First Avenue Baptist Church is replacing Jesus’ body and blood during communion for Donald Trump’s. The 55 souls who are members of this little white church on a hill asked Reverend Bragg last month if it was biblical to exchange Jesus for President Trump. At first, the 83-year-old man of God wasn’t sure, and told his eager beaver Trump supporting church elders he had to pray on it…. Read more

  Charleston, West Virginia – President Trump yesterday called for all Puerto Ricans living in the United States and its territories to be deported and sent back to Mexico. He made this extreme statement while addressing a rally for embattled Republican Congressman Andrew Canard of West Virginia’s 33rd District. Congressman Canard appeared shocked and confused when America’s commander-in-chief said Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) officers should be working day and night to deport “MS-13 animals and all Puerto Ricans back… Read more

  Before we start on some  introvert-based humor I want to clarify my own position. Let’s look at a few words and their definitions that may describe me. Misanathrope: a person who hates or distrusts humankind. Curmudgeon: a crusty, ill-tempered, and usually old man. Introvert: a shy, reticent person. Hmmm… on closer inspection I’m a Misanthrope-Curmudgeon-Introvert (in that order). Enjoy these little bits. Read more

  Fort Wayne, Indiana – Stone Ark Baptist Church is offering thirsty worshippers a special deal on the 128 oz Mega Gulp of Jesus. For a limited time the 30,000 church members can put their favorite Mountain Dew flavor in the anointed vessel for only $1. At no extra cost a follower of Christ and the Dew can add Skittles to their drink. “People like that our concession stands were able to harmonize the Old and New Testaments in this… Read more

  Ambien has been in the news lately thanks to Roseanne Barr. The comedian initially blamed Ambien for her racist tweets about Obama aide Valerie Jarrett. Those tweets got her show canceled. In today’s ‘Merica, however, I think her getting fired for racist tweets makes her a prime contender for the 2020 Republican Presidential Primary. OK, maybe that’s a stretch. Perhaps Senator Roseanne isn’t? Roseanne Barr blaming Ambien got me wondering. What drugs do we need to survive Donald Trump’s… Read more

  At this point it’s old news Ireland voted to legalize abortion. (You can read my comical commentary on the event here.)  Previously, the 8th Amendment of the Irish consititution prohibited abortions unless the mother’s life was in jeopardy. The recent vote made me wonder. What ballot initiatives would I like to see? I offer my humble suggestions. If you have a ballot initiative you’d like to see, you can put it in the comments. Read more

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