“And How Many Daddies?”

asking questions

I recently ran into my friend Amy and her son Joey when I was downtown for an event with my daughter Sally. Amy had a similar evangelical upbringing to mine, and is today happily married to her partner of fifteen years, Kate. Their son Joey is two. I've gotten together with Amy for lunch on occasion, and when we ran into each other again last week we repeated, again, that we should get out families together sometime---when we weren't so busy. I introduced Sally to Amy and Joey and then we parted … [Read more...]

Strong-Willed Child: Where Children Test Limits, Egads!

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By VictoriaOriginally posted on Saving Victoria StrongThe Strong-Willed Child, chapter 1, pp. 16-18A quick note on my wording: it was most cathartic to write this section sort of like it’s an open letter in part to Dobson and in part to my own parents, hence usually referring to parents with the pronoun “you”. I’m not at all speaking to the good parents out there.This next section begins by discussing the fact that children test limits. “They (children) will occasionally disobey … [Read more...]

Different Choices—Not a Betrayal

woman window

It happened again today. Someone from back home asked me if Sally and Bobby were going to be followed by eleven more siblings. There's an expectation some have people---even among church people not in conservative homeschooling circles---that I will follow among my parents' footsteps and have a dozen or so children. They assume it's what I want, even though I never told them I wanted that and I've been grown up and away from home for close to ten years now. And when I say it's not, they are … [Read more...]

CTBHHM: It Is Acceptable to God

crying-woman

Created To Be His Help Meet, pp. 262-263 This is the last of Michael Pearl's section of Debi's book. In this section, remember, Debi's husband Michael is explaining, from the Bible, when there are exceptions from wifely obedience---and when there are not. This section is called "Enduring Suffering Wrongfully," and it's really, really bad. Michael begins by quoting I Peter 2:13-17.13 Submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord's sake: whether it be to the king, as … [Read more...]

Premarital Sex and Marital Problems

marriage-fight-compressed

I've written a lot about my parents decision to have us children court rather than date. From time to time I've seen readers express confusion as to why parents would reject for their children a process that worked for them. The truth is that my parents turned to courtship for my siblings and I because they believed that dating hadn't worked for them.I recently mentioned that I was conceived before my parents married. In other words, when my parents taught my siblings and I abstinence before … [Read more...]

Bullying Prevention

stopbullying (1)

The Parent Trap is on Netflix, so I watched it with Sally a few days ago. I enjoy showing her movies I remember watching as a kid myself. As we came to the part where Annie and Haley vandalize each other's cabins at camp in an escalating cycle of retribution, Sally rendered her judgement."That's bullying," she said."Where did you learn about bullying?" I asked her."At my school," she said. "Bullying is not nice."I'd been told that schools were being more proactive about dealing … [Read more...]

The Children in the Sandbox

Kids-in-Sandbox

Over the holidays I read a novel by Jodi Picoult. I enjoyed the book, but there was one passage that bugged me. In it a mother acts as narrator, and explains that we're all supposed to say there is no real difference between boys and girls, but that that is a "polite fiction." She says all you have to do is look into any sandbox at any park, and you'll see the girls preparing food and the boys smashing things with trucks. Except that this is not in fact my experience.Look, my son Bobby loves … [Read more...]


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