On the Duggars and the Locus of Outrage

Yes, the Duggars are homophobic. They are also incredibly sexist, carefully limiting and curtailing their daughters’ dreams. The Duggars have long supported cult-like organizations run by men who sexually harassed and molested teenage and young adult girls in their employ (Doug Phillips and Bill Gothard). Actually, the Duggars continue to support and promote one of these organizations (ATI), which has jettisoned its founder (Bill Gothard) but is run by the same leadership that spent decades covering up his sexual offenses. Read more

On #Shirtstorm and Completely Missing the Point

So I said I wasn’t going to write about this, but I am. While googling to find a link to use in a previous post, I found article after article defending Matt Taylor’s shirt and completely missing the point. So here I am, blogging about it. Read more

Mattel’s Computer Engineer Barbie Leaves the Computer Engineering to the Boys

I didn’t write about last week’s women in tech fail—scientist Matt Taylor’s decision to wear a sexist shirt while live-streaming the Rosetta comet landing—but I absolutely have to write about this week’s—computer engineer Barbie. I don’t think I’ve ever seen something with so much potential fail so spectacularly. Read more

Sex and Respect

So what was it that led me to give up the idea that a man choosing to wait until marriage to have sex with his significant other was a sign of respect for her? The answer is simple. It was meeting a man who didn’t believe sex needed to be saved for marriage, and yet thoroughly respected me. This shook up my world, because from my perspective Sean was an impossibility—something that should not have been. And yet there he was. Read more

Gender-Based Discrimination in Muslim Homeschooling

Homeschooling parents have more control over their children’s education and over who their children have contact with than do other parents. So I suppose it’s not surprising that just as there are Christian parents who homeschool to keep their children from “worldly” influences and prepare them for futures delineated by religious ideas about gender (i.e. the girls should be homemakers), there would be Muslims doing the same thing. Read more

On Race, Gender, and Being “Unbiased”

We need to lay aside this common idea that men are somehow neutral or unbiased on gender issues, or that white people are somehow neutral on race, and so forth. It’s simply not true. In fact, not only are they not neutral and unbiased—and not unemotional or uninvested—they also have less lived experience when it comes to issues that affect women or people of color—and let’s face it, those are usually the things we mean when we refer to gender issues and race. We badly need to change this conversation. Read more

Child Abuse, Karen Campbell and Lisa Cherry, and Facts

rovide protection for children. And here, too, we see why it matters that Campbell (and Cherry, too, it seems) sees child maltreatment as something committed by those other than parents. If you believe child maltreatment is committed by someone else, someone out there, empowering parents looks like the most effective way to prevent child maltreatment. But this requires one to ignore the man behind the curtain—the fact that 80% of child maltreatment is committed by children’s parents. We’ve been talking about child abuse in homeschooling settings off and on for a long time now. As a homeschool alumna, this is an issue I care about. The more I hear homeschooling parents in positions of leadership—people like Campbell and Cherry—talk about child abuse and how to prevent it, the more concerned I become. Read more

The Lesbian Duplex 9: An Open Thread

I was going to start another general chatter thread (that’s my “Lesbian Duplex” feature), but then last night conversation on another thread turned to helping a specific longtime commenter, Mrs. Grizzley, figure out how to leave an abusive marriage. I’m dedicating this chatter thread to her and others like her. While I won’t limit conversation here solely to this topic, I’d like to encourage conversation about recognizing and leaving abusive relationships. Read more

Terrie Elzie, and Children in Public Spaces

This story presents a good opportunity to talk about disagreements over the place of children in public spaces, and to promote understanding and consideration on both stories. Defending Elzie’s actions does the opposite. Read more

Punishment Has No Place in Marriage*

I grew up in an evangelical family, raised by parents who believed that husbands are to lead and wives are to submit. But I don’t recall hearing anything about husbands punishing their wives for lack of obedience. When disobedient wives came up, husbands were generally advised to simply love and pray for them. So I have to admit to being rather horrified by some blog posts I came upon this week. Read more

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