More Thoughts on Teaching Consent to Young Children

We need to think about the messages we send children. When they are still toddlers we need to teach them about personal space—that they need to respect others’ personal space, and that they can expect to have their need for personal space respected and backed up—and as they get bigger we need to teach them about consent. Read more

On Transgender Men and “Living Life As a Woman”

Some readers clarify on the transgender experience. Read more

Introduce Yourself!

It’s been a while since we’ve done introductions, so it’s about time to do it again. When I first started blogging, I never imagined I would end up creating a community. I know that most of my readers probably don’t glance at the comments, and that’s fine, but those who do read and engage there have created something beyond the blog itself. Read more

What to Do If Someone Calls You Sexist: A Short Primer

It has come to my attention that some people seem to view being called sexist as worse than the damage done by being sexist. (It has also come to my attention that many people don’t know what sexism is.) This is all highly unfortunate, to say the least, but I think I can help. Without further ado, here is my short and dirty primer on what to do if someone calls you (or something you said or did) sexist. Read more

“I am so, so sorry, Bobby”: On Apologies

This situation would have played out very differently had it happened when I was a child. My parents were strict and placed a primacy on teaching obedience to authority. Had I hurt one of my younger brothers, my parents would have spanked me and then required me to apologize (on threat of another spanking). There would have been no conversation, only a lecture. Read more

“It’s like their brains time-travel back to 1952”

In the past, I’ve done what I’ve called “awesome comment award.” I want to start doing something similar but more regular. I have a lot of readers who say many interesting things, and some of their comments call for a bit more spotlight. Today I want to highlight a comment by reader snowmentality. Read more

CTBHHM: What “Companionship” Means in Pearl World

I’m glad Debi calls for a strong bond between husband and wife, and a sharing of life together, but the relationship model she promotes—in which the wife gives up her own interests and endeavors to focus only on those of her husband, praising and reverencing him constantly—is not a healthy one. In fact, it is by definition an unhealthy relationship. Read more

People! I Have a Comment Policy!

Over this past week I have been growing increasingly frustrated at the growing number of people violating my comment policy. Some of these violations are committed by newcomers who may be unaware that I have a comment policy, but others are committed by regular readers. I have a lot on my plate right now, and stepping in and moderating all of these conversations to warn or ban those who violate my comment policy is really starting to take its tole. You’ve noticed that I don’t have my Created To Be His Help Meet post up today? That would be because of all the time I’ve been spending policing bigotry and pettiness in the comments on my earlier post about Minneapolis’ Somalis’ efforts to create a Halal food pantry. Read more

When Your Atheism Is Really about Attacking Minorities

There are so many issues that get lost if we look in the world as a dichotomy of religion v. atheism. There are structures surrounding culture, race, gender, and economics that are erased by such a simplistic framing. When religion is the enemy rather than systems of power that disadvantage the poor across the globe, or women, or people of color, we lose focus on what is really important—people. Human beings. You and me—and the Somalis in Minneapolis, and everyone else from country to country across this huge world we live in. Our lives and the forces that shape them may not always fit simple narratives, but they are beautiful in their intricacy. I find myself yearning for something larger, something more holistic. I find myself tiring of simple narratives. Read more

John Crawford III Denied Justice

I have to admit to feeling a bit sick. I just saw two things in very close proximity. The first was a headline announcing that Beavercreek, Ohio, police were cleared of wrongdoing in the shooting death of John Crawford III. The second was the surveillance video of that shooting, which occurred in a Walmart. Read more