CTBHHM: What “Companionship” Means in Pearl World

I’m glad Debi calls for a strong bond between husband and wife, and a sharing of life together, but the relationship model she promotes—in which the wife gives up her own interests and endeavors to focus only on those of her husband, praising and reverencing him constantly—is not a healthy one. In fact, it is by definition an unhealthy relationship. Read more

People! I Have a Comment Policy!

Over this past week I have been growing increasingly frustrated at the growing number of people violating my comment policy. Some of these violations are committed by newcomers who may be unaware that I have a comment policy, but others are committed by regular readers. I have a lot on my plate right now, and stepping in and moderating all of these conversations to warn or ban those who violate my comment policy is really starting to take its tole. You’ve noticed that I don’t have my Created To Be His Help Meet post up today? That would be because of all the time I’ve been spending policing bigotry and pettiness in the comments on my earlier post about Minneapolis’ Somalis’ efforts to create a Halal food pantry. Read more

When Your Atheism Is Really about Attacking Minorities

There are so many issues that get lost if we look in the world as a dichotomy of religion v. atheism. There are structures surrounding culture, race, gender, and economics that are erased by such a simplistic framing. When religion is the enemy rather than systems of power that disadvantage the poor across the globe, or women, or people of color, we lose focus on what is really important—people. Human beings. You and me—and the Somalis in Minneapolis, and everyone else from country to country across this huge world we live in. Our lives and the forces that shape them may not always fit simple narratives, but they are beautiful in their intricacy. I find myself yearning for something larger, something more holistic. I find myself tiring of simple narratives. Read more

John Crawford III Denied Justice

I have to admit to feeling a bit sick. I just saw two things in very close proximity. The first was a headline announcing that Beavercreek, Ohio, police were cleared of wrongdoing in the shooting death of John Crawford III. The second was the surveillance video of that shooting, which occurred in a Walmart. Read more

Estrogen Vibe: The Musical Satire

Satire involves using humor to make various points, frequently to call out bad ideas, and can be a useful tool. John Stewart of the Daily Show, who is one of my favorite people, regularly uses satire on his show. This particular satire is designed not only to call out the sexism in some of Harris’s recent statements but also to position these statements as part of a wider problem. Most of the words used are Harris’s, but some are not, as the satire’s author makes clear in her own discussion, which I will quote below. Read more

Obedience, Empathy, and the Laundry Hamper

Corporal punishment advocates judge my parenting on the basis of their values (obedience first and always!), but then I don’t hold their values. I consider an individual parenting moment a success if I have helped Sally practice empathy and understand how her actions affect others whether or not there was obedience. In fact, I don’t usually ask for obedience. I ask for understanding. I ask for communication. I ask for empathy. I listen. We have a conversation. I foster a connection. I teach. We grow. Read more

“What’s Your Favorite Princess?”

I want a world where girls are treated as individuals first, a world where girls are allowed to fill in the blanks in their own stories. Is it so hard to ask a girl her interests instead of assuming you already know them? Read more

Has Gay Marriage Harmed this Writer and Her Children?

At this point I stopped reading and almost laughed. I realize this is very serious subject matter, but Darnelle seems unaware that if LGBTQ individuals had equal rights and full social acceptance, she would not have been put in this situation. Her family was torn apart not as a result of her now ex-husband’s “decision to identify as a gay man” but rather because he, a gay man, felt he had to hide who he was. If he had been able to accept himself and come out earlier, he would not have married her, leaving her free to marry a straight man who could love her more fully. Read more

On Sam Harris, Pregnancy, and Sacrifices

Frankly, I don’t see much difference at all between Harris and the evangelicals I grew up among, at least on gender issues—and willingness to examine one’s biases or be self reflective. I was told growing up that it is women’s role, as determined by their biology, to make sacrifices their families—and that women should be honored as the glue that holds their homes together. And here Harris is, saying the same thing. Read more

Do They Care about Women, or Simply Bashing Religion?

Last week blogger Adam Lee of Daylight Atheism wrote for the Guardian about Richard Dawkins’ sexist comments. The article was titled “Richard Dawkins has lost it: Ignorant sexism gives atheists a bad name.” Blogger Jerry Coyne of Why Evolution Is True was not pleased, and wrote a post titled “Adam Lee Has Lost It.” My regulars will know that I don’t usually dig into the issue of sexism in the atheist movement—largely because I don’t really engage in the atheist movement—but given that I dipped my toe in it last week (“Is Sam Harris Sexist?”) I do want to respond to one thing Coyne said in his post. Read more

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