We Prosecute People for Actions, Not Beliefs

I’m not going to call Harris a “genocidal fascist maniac,” but I do take serious issue with his argument that it may be ethical to kill people for certain beliefs. In fact, I don’t think he actually believes his own statement, because every time he is asked to explain he brings up killing people for acting on certain beliefs. But here’s the thing: We prosecute people who commit or plan heinous actions regardless of their beliefs. It’s the action (or the planning) that we criminalize, not the belief. Read more

3 Ways Homeschoolers Actually Socialize Differently than School Kids

“What about socialization?” Homeschooled parents have been asked this question over and over again for decades. I understand finding it annoying to get this question so many times, but it’s a good question, and one homeschooling parents should take seriously. I’m really tired of reading blog posts by homeschooling parents arguing that homeschooled children are actually better than public schooled children. Trust me, I heard this growing up, too! Hearing this didn’t make me any less afraid of public schooled children, and it didn’t magic me more friends. Read more

HSLDA Defends Special Needs Cages Family, Redux

This is another verifiable case where HSLDA defended the rights of people who turned out to be abusers. In this case, it was actual legal assistance. (I know several individuals whose abusive parents were also defended by HSLDA, but these are stories where social services never became involved and the abuse was never discovered.) Now yes, abusers should have legal defense. It’s how the system works. But HSLDA doesn’t position itself as an organization that defends all comers and sometimes has to do dirty work, it positions itself as the family-friendly smiling face of homeschooling and actively works to shape policy. Read more

Sexual Repression, the Duggar Parents, and Mine

So, are my parents sexually repressed? That is not a question I can answer either “yes” or “no” to, because it’s more complicated than that! My parents did a number on my siblings and I through their incredibly repressive approach to not only premarital sex specifically but also adolescent sexuality in general, but when it comes to marital sex they appear to be more open about sex than your average parent of their generation (or so says my informal polling of friends not raised in my parents’ conservative evangelical culture). Read more

In Which Bobby Tries to Communicate

But for all that it is frustrating to me when I can’t understand Bobby’s attempts to communicate, it must be only more frustrating for him! I’m glad Sean and I were able to figure out why Bobby was so upset when we left the store the other day. Otherwise we probably never would have known that Bobby had left his matchbox cars (and dinosaur) in a store, and lost them—but he would have known. Read more

Dispelling Some Duggar Rumors

The Stir has been coming out with some “interesting” reports on Jessa Duggar and Ben Siewald’s wedding. According to writers for The Stir, Jessa and Ben’s decision to have their first kiss in private was made in the moment, and wasn’t something the Duggar parents knew of ahead of time (or were very happy with either), and also according to writers for The Stir, when Jinger went back to get Jessa at the conclusion of her private moment with Ben, the couple were caught in the middle having sex. The Stir gleefully declares it a “Duggar sex scandal.” Read more

What Kirk Cameron Doesn’t Know about Jessa Duggar and Ben Seewald

Cameron’s remarks bring up important points about the way evangelicals view relationships and the way purity stands in for things like communication or caring. Because for evangelicals, sexual purity is the golden standard. It’s almost as though nothing else matters. Learning healthy relationship skills completely goes out the window, completely dwarfed by the overwhelming importance of a couple not touching each other in certain ways. Read more

Don’t Try to Fix It—Pray!

The view of prayer Max Lucado promotes in his quote above is toxic. I am glad I was told to take my problems to God in prayer but not to stop also trying to fix them. I’m trying to imagine what it would be like to raise a family on Max Lucado’s view. You have a dead-end job that pays too little? Don’t go out job searching! Tell Jesus your needs and leave it at that! There is no way in which this is not a bad idea. Read more

Sexual Exploration and Teaching Children Boundaries

Several months ago, I let the bathroom briefly to grab a towel while the children were bathing. Sally is five and Bobby two, but they actually rarely bathe together because they’re both so bath-resistant we usually end up running them through the shower with us instead. Standing in the hall grabbing a towel from the linen closet I heard something along the lines of “Can I see it?” When I reentered the bathroom a moment later I realized that Sally was looking at and touching Bobby’s penis. Sally looked fascinated, and Bobby was watching Sally in an interested manner. Read more

“Normal Childhood Sexual Exploration”?

Not all “normal childhood sexual exploration” is harmless and okay. “It’s normal for children to do that” should not get an act off the hook. It is normal for adults to have sex, too, but that doesn’t mean sex is never exploitative or coercive. To state it directly, it is normal for children to want to see each other’s private parts, but childhood private part looking can also be exploitative and coercive, and can in some cause longterm feelings of violation. I think this is why I have found defenses of Lena Dunham based on the claim that childhood sexual exploration is normal so troubling. Read more

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