I Will Not Apologize for Growing Up

This isn’t some sort of equal thing where we both messed up. My parents messed up. Full stop. And yes, I get that people do mess up, and there are a lot of things I’ve let go of as I’ve moved on. I’m not even usually angry with my parents anymore—though anger can be legitimate. I’ve reached a point where I’m mostly just sad. But this isn’t some sort of thing where we both need to admit our faults and forgive each other. I didn’t do anything wrong. I know that sometimes people claim that to get out of responsibility for their actions, but that’s not what I’m doing here. If I had fault here I would admit it, but I don’t. Read more

Memories of My Father

Some of my readers have noticed that I rarely refer to being spanked by my father. To be honest, I actually cannot definitively remember being spanked by my father. As I’ve written before, my father and I were very close up to the point where my beliefs diverged from his. I was his golden girl, is special firstborn daughter. But he had this idea of what I was supposed to be like so firmly in his mind he couldn’t handle it when I started diverging from that. At some point during my college years my relationship with my father ended. It was the most painful thing I had ever experienced, but the reason it was so painful was because of everything that had come before. Read more

“I Don’t Want a Girl Shovel!”

I wish the father at the sandbox had at least tried to explain to his son that there is nothing wrong with using a “girl” shovel. His son is getting those messages somewhere, and they need active counteracting, but so far as I saw no such counteracting took place. His father, seeing the shock apparently evident on my face, simply apologized with a “what can I do” kind of shrug. Because, apparently, boys will be boys. Read more

Homeschooling and Race

But enough about me. I’m writing this post to call attention to a Homeschoolers Anonymous series on homeschooling and race. Read more

Thanksgiving Stories and Traditions

For those of us in the U.S., tomorrow is Thanksgiving. For most people, Thanksgiving is a combination of family and food. Today I want to open the floor for swapping stories and traditions. Read more

“The reason was ‘sex might happen'”

When you’re as obsessed with sex as evangelical and fundamentalist Christians who buy into what I call “purity culture” are, you are constantly afraid that “sex will happen” at the drop of a hat. This is why the need for chaperones is so heavily emphasized by families like the Duggars. Read more

Missouri Musings

There was a time I thought like my father, and like my uncle. Like them, I believed racism was a thing of the past. I thought I was “colorblind,” and that black people were disproportionately stuck in poverty because they were lazy. I talked about “the race card” and believed that black people held themselves back through a victim mentality. In other words, I believed that black people—not white people, not structural inequality—were the problem. Read more

When Unassisted Home Births Go Wrong

When I read about unassisted home births today, I think of both Kierstyn and Dave. It’s interesting how different their experiences were—but then, I think the same is true of assisted home births as well. I have two friends, homeschool graduates like me, who have had home births. Both had midwives. One had to be taken to the hospital in an ambulance for an emergency C-section. The other successfully birthed at home surrounded by her friends and relatives. Birth is not exactly predictable. Read more

Jill and Jessa Duggar Have “Covenant” Marriages

As some of you may have noticed, both Jill and Jessa Duggar have “convenient marriages.” Arkansas is one of three states a “covenant marriage” law. No-fault divorce laws have allowed couples to divorce without having to prove abuse or unfaithfulness, but Arkansas’ covenant marriage law rolls that back. Couples with covenant marriages cannot simply get a divorce—and that now includes both Jill and Jessa. Read more

“In both cases, we are talking about sexist oppression”

Last week scientist Matt Taylor wore a shirt covered with scantily clad women for a live interview. When women called this out, one individual responded by creating a shirt covered with burka clad women, which he dubbed it feminist approved. Reader timberwraith responded to the burka shirt as follows: I’ll share an observation of the burka vs. skin dichotomy made by many feminists long before this particular this gent’s clothing issues reared its mediocre head. It doesn’t matter whether you are talking about expecting women to… Read more

Follow Us!

Browse Our Archives