When Bobby Wants His Daddy

man and baby

Last night Sean held Bobby while I finished unloading the dishwasher with Sally. Sean then asked if I would hold Bobby so that he could put butter on some bread. I went to take Bobby, but Bobby instead threw his arms around Sean's neck and moved away from me. Sean smiled and held Bobby closer as I offered to butter the bread.When Sally was born, Sean wasn't sure what exactly to do with her. My schedule was more flexible, so I ended up caring for Sally the vast majority of the time. It wasn't … [Read more...]

A Novel Approach to Rape Prevention


Many Indian men have responded to last month's gruesome rape by arguing that Indian women must be careful what they wear or where they go if they want to avoid being raped. Don't wear "slutty" clothes, don't stay out late or go to this or that area of town, that sort of thing. Well, here's a piece of satire that responds by asking what it would look like if we responded to sexual assault by limiting men's freedom rather than by limiting women's freedom: Calls for Men to Be Blindfolded in … [Read more...]

Beating the Shame Game: On the Stigma of Early Marriage and Young Parenting

young mother

It seems that there is a very narrow time frame when it is acceptable to have children in our society. If you have children too early, you will be judged for it, and if you have children too late, well, you'll be judged for that as well. And of course, exactly what age is acceptable for child bearing varies from region to region and subculture to subculture.I grew up in a family and community where early marriage and early child rearing was seen as desirable. Perhaps not surprisingly, I mar … [Read more...]

Research Challenges Assumptions about Gender and Sex


I grew up believing that men and women are different. I'm not talking just physically different, or just culturally different because they are socialized differently. I'm talking different. I was taught that men are designed to protect and provide, and women to care for children and nurture. I was taught that men wanted sex, and that women, being less sexual, were the gatekeepers. I was taught that men were just better at things like science and math while women were better at things like … [Read more...]

Some Thoughts on Child Custody

father children

Blogger Sheldon recently responded to my post on why my son Bobby needs feminism too, and while he praised the basic core of my post, he added this concern: She talks about patriarchy being causing problems for men, but I notice this problem has been overlooked (whether intentionally or unintentionally, I don't know).The divorce/family court system in the US very rarely gives full custody to men, or at the very least a decent shared custody agreement, very likely because of th … [Read more...]

Why I Believe in Civil Discussion

civil conversation

Just how civil atheists should be in their communication with the religious seems to be a perennial conversation in the atheist blogosphere, though these ideas are applicable much more broadly than just that. Fellow Patheos blogger Dan Fincke, who has long argued in favor of civil discussion, recently called my attention to a study that looked at the effect of online comments on a person's perception of argument and information. This from Mother Jones: In a recent study, a team of researchers … [Read more...]

Homeschool Reflection: Not the Only Way


A guest post by TessI am a woman in her early twenties who was homeschooled from kindergarten through high school. My experience with homeschooling was mostly good, and leaving out schooling choices altogether I should first probably say that my parents were always unconditionally supportive of me and invested in my education, so I realize that my growing up experience most likely would have been good regardless of education style.My mom has a degree in special education and so teaching … [Read more...]