Taken for a Lesbian Couple

“You two are adorable, and your children are beautiful,” the nice-looking older woman told my friend Beth and I as she paused at our table. She then gave us a knowing smile and then moved on. “Did she think we were together, or did I imagine that?” Beth asked, turning to me. “You definitely didn’t imagine that,” I replied with a bemused smile. Beth and I were at an outdoor concert that day, our collective four children in tow. Read more

Debi Pearl Defends Bill Gothard

In their books and on their blog, Michael and Debi have generally taken a hard line on the sexual abuse of children. Given this, Debi’s response to the Bill Gothard situation seem incredibly out of place. Debi should be out there with Recovering Grace and all the rest condemning Gothard and his actions and demanding that he be punished to the full extent of the law and removed from any position of religious authority. But she’s not. Instead she argues that Gothard is simply a sinner like anyone else, like you and like me, and that Recovering Grace is the the real problem here. In fact, she flat out says she is on Gothard’s “side.” Read more

CTNAHM: Don’t Command Your Wife to Obey

By Aletha. We’re in a new chapter, and I’m finding it really weird. The point of this chapter is that husbands aren’t supposed to tell their wives to submit to them. Which, they shouldn’t, but there seems to be the understanding that wives WILL submit. I’ll let Michael explain. Read more

Doug Wilson and the “Gaylag Archipelago”

When a federal judge struck down Idaho’s gay marriage ban last week, fellow blogger Kathryn Elizabeth tweeted the news at Christian pastor and author Douglas Wilson. Wilson is well known for his anti-gay views, and he and Kathryn Elizabeth have sparred over the issue before. Wilson’s response won’t be a surprise to anyone familiar with his work, but it illustrates a problem among religious opponents of LGBTQ rights. Read more

Crosspost: A Letter to Our Parents

By Darcy. Dear Parents, I’m in several online groups consisting of thousands of the homeschool alumni of my generation, the “Joshua Generation”, the products of the Christian homeschooling pioneers. And one major theme going on in our conversations right now is an overwhelming frustration that we cannot talk to our parents. We cannot be real with you. We want a relationship but don’t know how to get past the mental and emotional walls you have put up to protect yourself, the denial that your choices for us caused pain. Read more

The Numbers on the Scale

I was incredulous as I stared down at the number. My brother-in-law’s scale must be broken, I concluded. There was no way I weighed more now than I did the week before I gave birth to my son Bobby. A week later I found myself on a scale again, this time at my parents’ house. And there they were. The same numbers. I weigh more today than I did before giving birth to Bobby two years ago. Read more

The “United” Front?

I’ve been wanting to write for a while about the problems I have with the idea that parents must provide a “united front” to their children, and I recently came across an old post of Dulce’s on this exact subject. I may write more about the subject myself at some point, but as I read through Dulce’s post all I could think was yes, yes, and yes. She made the points I’ve been thinking for a while now, and probably better than I could have. So I’ll start you off with the beginning of Dulce’s post, and then point you on to the rest. Read more


I suppose I should have expected this when I posted several days ago about seeing an offensive sexist shirt at my local YMCA. Some MRAs descended on the post’s comment thread and everything went downhill from there. It’s worth taking a moment to do some housekeeping and lay down a few ground rules. Read more

Seven Phases of a Godly (Gothard) Courtship

So I’m going to dip my toes into Bill Gothard’s Advanced Seminar Textbook once again, this time looking at a section titled “Seven Phases of a Godly Courtship” (pages 160—164). This, too, is a teaching I am unfamiliar with. Yes, I was taught courtship, but without specific “phases.” Gothard uses the story of Ruth and Boaz to illustrate his seven phases, holding their story up as an example of a godly courtship. This seems odd, given that their story was… Read more

CTBHHM: Speak No Evil of Anyone, Ever

It’s really impressive how much toxicity Debi can include in just a few pages. The main message in this section is to never think or speak badly about anyone, whether that be a fellow church member, a friend or acquaintance, or one’s own husband. Speaking badly of others can lead one’s husband to become wrathfully angry (which is very dangerous, to you as well as to those around him), and speaking badly of one’s husband can lead one to become a martyr and ultimately destroy one’s children. Read more