CTBHHM: Men Are Powder Kegs (so Don’t Provoke Them)

This . . . is terrible advice. It’s actually pretty much the worst advice possible. The best way to handle an aggressive husband is by removing yourself from the situation. Period. The idea that a man is only violent or abusive if provoked keeps women in abusive situations and keeps women from leaving violent partners. It shifts the blame from the perpetrator to the victim. Read more

AnotherOne: Stop Invoking the Taliban!

“Dude, I know I’m beating a dead horse here, but for the love of god, can we stop with the “Talibamerica” crap? The fundamentalism of the Taliban is a tiny piece of an overall picture of what the Cold War did to an impoverished country of non-literate, tribal people.” This is how reader AnotherOne began a comment on a recent post. I really appreciated her comment. It’s really easy to gloss over differences between various forms of fundamentalism, but the differences matter. Read more

Patriarchy: Character Flaws or Systemic Problems?

I’m so done with analogies here, because I shouldn’t have to use analogies to show show how ridiculous Stacey’s system is here. I realize that my regular audience doesn’t need the convincing, but I rather hope that posts like these might be useful to at least a few people predisposed to think Stacey may have a point. Because she doesn’t. All she’s preaching is more female submission and more male rule, regardless of the abuse and pain that flow naturally from such a system. Read more

The Patriarchal Man’s Burden

I’m reminded of something that’s worth discussing, and that’s the way the rhetoric of Christian patriarchy mirrors “the white man’s burden,” the idea that white men had the burden of caring for “less civilized” races through colonization. Over and over again patriarchal advocates such as James MacDonald insist that patriarchy is actually about sacrifice on the part of the man, as he sacrificially takes care of, protects, and guides the women and children under his authority. Read more

Courtship, Hand-Holding, Parody, and Me

I recently came upon an article titled “The Christian dating site for those saving hand-holding for marriage.” When I saw the title, I thought it was real, because saving hand-holding for marriage doesn’t actually seem foreign or that far out to me. Read more

The Closest I Ever Felt to Normal

When we would clean the house when I was a child, mom would turn on music from her own past. It was all Christian music, but it was very different from our usual diet of classical music and hymns. There’s one song in particular that stands out—DeGarmo and Key’s “Boycott Hell.” Mom would turn it on and we children would rock out while we wiped baseboards and dusted shelves. During those times, I felt strangely normal. Read more

When Toxicity Demands a Break

In case you haven’t noticed, I’m taking a bit of a break from my series on To Train Up a Child. Read more

Help HARO Speak at a Homeschool Convention!

Homeschool Alumni Reaching Out (HARO) has the opportunity to speak at an upcoming homeschool convention—and they need funding to do it! I’ve been a blog partner of Homeschoolers Anonymous, a project of HARO, since its inception, and I fully support HARO’s mission and vision. While GHC is explicitly conservative and explicitly Christian, they allow for a greater range of speakers than have many conventions held by state or local homeschool groups. This is what makes GHC such a good opportunity for HARO! Read more


As I listened to the song Oh Rebecca last week, I began to cry. I played it again, and again, More tears, more feeling. Finally I began to write. Read more

This Is How Change Happens

Some weeks ago I was a bridesmaid in a friend’s wedding. The other bridesmaids and I went out on the town and spent some time hanging out, just chatting and enjoying our time together (and trying to keep the bride’s stress level down!). Then, as we were chatting, one of the bridesmaids—we’ll call her Amy—mentioned that her cousin had just come out as transgender. There was a momentary pause. Amy said she wasn’t sure about the whole pronouns thing, and she just seemed really unsure about it in general. But that pause did not last. Read more