In its recent series of posts on rape, the Good Men Project has been focusing on “nice guys” who “accidentally” commit rape because things like consent are “confusing.” In this post I address some of the Good Men Project’s writers’ statements about rape and argue that while they clearly think they are taking on rape culture they are actually feeding it. Read more

By now you have probably heard about the Good Men Project’s recent putting its foot in its mouth on the topic of rape by arguing that “nice” men can get confused by alcohol and “accidentally” rape someone and discussing the supposed “mixed messages” women send men in these situations. Plenty has been written on this already. What I want to do here is place what the Good Men Project is doing in a bit of historical context. Read more

I’m hearing it again. Eighteen elementary children met pointless deaths today, and yet my facebook feed has lit up with cries that gun control doesn’t solve anything and assertions that the problem is spiritual darkness, not things like guns or mental illness. Eighteen families have lost their children, and yet the cries of denial are loud already. This is not okay. Read more

In this section, Debi shares a story about a time Mike spilled the garbage. In the process, she ends up urging women to just be happy rather than actually dealing with things that irritate or bother them, providing a heavy dose of rather unattractive gender essentialism, and making light of the idea of marital rape. So, you know, just another dose of typical Debi. Read more

I’ve recently come upon several stories about pastors who have either been accused of or convicted of molesting minors and yet continue to lead their congregations. How does this happen? In this post I explain how ideas about sex and purity, theological concepts about sin and judgement, and the pastor’s position of authority collude to create an atmosphere that brings child molesters back to the pulpit. Read more

As a homeschooler, I was literally afraid of public school kids. I was only socialized with other homeschoolers, and as a result the kids who went to public school were completely foreign. I had no idea how to deal with them. Other homeschoolers, in contrast, were a snap. The reality is that I was well socialized in homeschooled circles, but not at all socialized beyond them. Read more

A reader just sent me a rape awareness ad aimed at teenagers. It’s an excellent example of what these campaigns should focus on, rather than on things like women’s clothing. Read more

For as long as I can remember, I heard the values of contentment extolled. Growing up in a family influenced by the Quiverfull and Christian Patriarchy movements, I learned very early that I must be content. But you know what? This isn’t what the guys around me were being told. While I was being taught to be content, they were being taught to be ambitious. Read more

Several readers have asked about what kind of music Unitarian Universalist services use. In this post I’ll answer that question and offer some examples. Read more

I wrote almost a year ago about my fears about reading the Bible story books relatives had given us to my daughter. I knew then that my fears were irrational – that stories only have the power we give them – but knowing a fear is irrational doesn’t automatically make it disappear. In this post I share how a single comment from my daughter Sally finally dispelled the last of my concerns. Read more

Follow Us!



Browse Our Archives