Christian Right Section Complete

I’ve just completed the section under another tab — the Christian Right. You can view this section either by clicking the tab itself (“Christian Right,” in the middle of the tabs immediately below the header) or by clicking here.As you will see, the section offers a basic summary of what I call the “purity culture,”followed by pages containing key posts and resources (websites, books, and articles).Please let me know if there is anything you think should be added to this section, or anyth … [Read more...]

Emotional Incest, Part 1: Definitions

"Emotional incest" is a tricky term because it sounds as though it implies a sexual relationship when it doesn't. Some scholars use the term "covert incest" instead, but that doesn't really help because it retains the word "incest." Other scholars have used the term "enmeshment," "co-dependency," and "emotional abuse" is another related concept as well. For the sake of this short series of posts, I will use the term "emotional incest" because I think that if you can get past the "ick" factor of … [Read more...]

What is it with Disney?

This weekend I watched The Little Mermaid, and, just like Tangled, there are parallels here, too. Nothing as blatant, maybe, but it's there.Ariel's father forbids her from contact with humans. But Ariel is not content with life under the sea - instead, she is fascinated by humans. Then Ariel makes contact and finds they're not so bad. In fact, she falls in love with one. How does her father respond? He freaks out completely. He lectures Ariel, telling her that humans are all the same, that … [Read more...]

Shadows, Echoes, and Reflections: Gendered Standards

As you know, I have a very large number of younger siblings. As more of my siblings have begun growing up, I've been noticing a pattern in how my parents have treated their children's relationships with those of the opposite gender. Let's just say it's a gendered difference. A major gendered difference.The girls have all had their prospective beaus scrutinized in detail, and each time there ends up being drama and pain and heartbreak. And it's not just the beliefs that are scrutinized. It's … [Read more...]

On “unconditional” love with conditions

To all of you who comment - I love you guys. You frequently say things that are really insightful, things that make me think. Reader Anotherone made just such a comment recently regarding fundamentalist parents and conditional love: I think a lot of fundamentalist parents love their children in supremely conditional ways, and the lightning fast retraction of that love comes right after the phrase, spoken with sickening gravity, “we need to talk.” At least, that’s how it was for my family.Of … [Read more...]

Purity Section Complete

I’ve just completed the section under another tab — purity. You can view this section either by clicking the tab itself (“Purity,” in the middle of the tabs immediately below the header) or by clicking here.As you will see, the section offers a basic summary of what I call the "purity culture,"followed by pages containing key posts and resources (websites, books, and articles).Please let me know if there is anything you think should be added to this section, or anything I could do to impr … [Read more...]

A reader asks: Am I angry at my parents?

A reader recently asked about my feelings towards my parents: Do you harbor any feelings of *resentment* towards your parents because they indoctrinated you? In previous posts you have used some harsh language to describe your upbringing, how it hurt you emotionally then, how it has hurt you emotionally now. Do you target any feelings of anger back at your parents? Some other atheists and I recently discussed this online, and most of them felt sorry for their parents and a bit disappointed in … [Read more...]


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