“That’s a Bad Word”

I grew up in a home where "heck" was a bad word. And "dang." And "gee." And "gosh." Heck, after all, was just code for "hell," and dang was code for "damn," and gee was code for "Jesus," and gosh was code for "God." And thus they were all off limits. Shoot was about the only word that was okay, which is weird because I'm pretty sure that if the other words are really code, that one's code for "shit."When you're not allowed to say even the most innocuous swear words, you have to get creative. … [Read more...]

On Titles and Respect

Sierra's recent post, "Oh, 'Brother,'" made me think about just what I was taught to call adults growing up. Sierra writes that in her church she was encouraged to call other church members "Brother This" or "Sister That." We, in contrast, did not do that. I don't think my parents would have seen that as respectful, actually.My parents required us to always address adults with the titles "Mr." or Mrs." followed by a last name. If it was a fairly young adult, we might be allowed to use the … [Read more...]

Raised Quiverfull: The Impact of Purity Teachings

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Do you feel that the purity and courtship teachings you were raised with still have lasting impact on your life today? If so, how? Joe: Yes.  It caused us to have six children and made my wife scared of sex.  While I love my six children, a smaller family would have been a better choice for both of us.  I, for one, am not cut out for so many children.  Every day is a constant battle of sanity.  And yet, as I said before, I really do love my children.  On the other hand, never does a day go by t … [Read more...]

On World Magazine, Sexism, and Name Changing

Because of The Last Name Project, I've been doing some thinking on everything that goes into women's decisions on whether or not to change their last names. My entry in this project and Sierra's entry reveal that two women with similar backgrounds and similar current beliefs can answer this question very differently - I changed my last name, but Sierra has chosen not to. I don't think that one choice is right or that the other is wrong. I think they're just different.The important thing is … [Read more...]

Raised Quiverfull: Looking Back on Purity

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How do you feel about purity and courtship teachings today? Have you rejected some parts of it and kept other parts of it? How do you plan to handle these issues with your own children? Joe: I will and am teaching my children about safety, STD's and unwanted pregnancies.  Also, by just being me, they get to see everything they would never want in a partner.  I want them to experiment and learn how to love another person.  I want them to try things academically, emotionally, and physically.  I w … [Read more...]

Joe’s “Raised Quiverfull: Homeschooling” Responses Posted

I have now added Joe's missing responses to the Homeschooling section of the Raised Quiverfull Project. You can access them below:Homeschooling, Q. 1Homeschooling, Q. 2Homeschooling, Q. 3Homeschooling, Q. 4Homeschooling, Q. 5Homeschooling Section Summary with LinksHomeschooling Section Complete Document … [Read more...]

Free Range Parenting: The Stares of the Neighbors


In addition to positive parenting, I'm also a big fan of free range parenting. The idea is that parents do too much "helicopter parenting" today, and that children are actually capable of much more than we think, capable of things like (gasp!) walking themselves to school. For me, free range parenting means preparing Sally to handle life rather than simply protecting her from it.But there has always been one serious difficulty for me about free range parenting, one thing that has held me … [Read more...]