I’ve often said that when I was pro-life it was because I honestly believed the embryo/fetus was a person with a soul. This is true, but there’s something more. The reality is that I had no idea what women who found themselves with unplanned pregnancies faced. I had no understanding of the reasons someone would choose to end a pregnancy. I was raised by a stay at home mother who had baby after baby without ever a threat to her… Read more

I learned growing up that everyone has their own particular weaknesses, their own particular points of temptation. For men it might be porn, for women it might be gossip. In order to avoid your temptation you might have to avoid a particular store – like Victoria’s Secret – or a particular activity – like watching chic flicks. Mine was the checkout aisle. Every time I approached the checkout aisle at the grocery, I knew I was in for a battle. It was… Read more

I’ve been thinking more and more about how much I appreciate being able to disagree – or, more specifically, being able to disagree without having people flip out. Growing up on the line between fundamentalism and evangelicalism, in a family influenced by the Christian Patriarchy and Quiverfull movements, disagreement was not allowed. Or to be more specific, disagreement simply did not happen. I have to be completely honest, the first time I learned that mainstream couples are okay with not… Read more

In a comment on my Purity Myth post, I said the following in response to comment: “As to the “deeply physical, emotional, and spiritual act” you say sex is, I would just point out that there are a LOT of people disagree with you. I personally don’t see anything spiritual about it at all, and I think the only emotional thing about it is what you choose to invest in it. As for it being “deeply physical,” so is a… Read more

What I love best about my life today is the absolute freedom I feel. I can believe what I want. I can do what I want. I can wear what I want. I can say what I want. I can be who I want. I cannot emphasize how revolutionary this all is.   When you stop trying to shove yourself into a box, everything suddenly changes. When you allow yourself to ask questions, a whole new world opens up. I… Read more

“Do you know what you’re having yet?” “Yes, it’s a boy.” “Perfect! One of each!” The assumption, of course, is that I’m done. I can’t tell you how often I get this. People find out I’m expecting, find out it’s a boy and that I already have a girl in preschool, and they assume I’m done. Two kids, one of each, the perfect American family. It’s not that I’m necessarily not done, it’s just that having been raised in a… Read more

I was recently talking to a friend who grew up in a family much like mine, and we identified something very interesting. We both feel that being homeschooled and raised the way we were left us a double legacy. Since leaving home, my friend has been involved in the Emerging Church and has even spent time on a Christian commune. Her parents have been less than pleased to see her question the traditional doctrines and lifestyle choices they raised her… Read more

I recently received the following email: Just wanted to preface that I’ve been following your blog “Love, Joy, Feminism” for a while.  While I did not grow up quiverfull, I did grow up in a fairly conservative evangelical church.  I left Christianity in college after an experience with abuse and domestic violence blasted my views apart.  I’ve come to appreciate your writing as a good expression of what many of us experienced growing up as young women in the conservative… Read more

I wrote yesterday about how fractured Christianity has always been. It almost seems like Christians have never been able to agree on, well, anything. Whether it’s arguing over whether Judaic food laws are still in affect or the nature of Jesus’ divinity or what happens at communion or whether Jesus would have been a Republican or a Democrat, the Christian church has always been, and continues to be, fractured. I wrote a bit yesterday also about the Emerging Church movement,… Read more

Fellow blogger Darcy recently wrote a post in which she chided her friends and family for their concern at her spiritual state because she’s been reevaluating many of the core doctrines of Christianity. She assured her readers that just the fact that she believes the world is older than 6,000 years old does not mean that she no longer has a relationship with Jesus. And so on. This made me think once again about how extremely petty Christians can be. The… Read more

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