Self-Motivation and External Consequences

Children

Unlike most of my parenting posts, this one is going to be high on theory and low on anecdotes. This discussion---which focuses on what it means that an adult or child "has to" do this or that---was prompted by reader Rebecca Horne in the comments section of my post on how I teach my daughter that "sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do." I want to start by saying that I don't have all of the answers, and that this is more of a thinking post than something that is fully settled in … [Read more...]

My Sister, Joy—and Me

Sisters

Regular readers are often curious about my younger siblings. Half of my siblings have come of age and left the nest, and the other half of them are still at home. Those who are grown have chosen a variety of different paths. Sometimes I've pitched in and helped a sibling out with leaving or getting started on their own, but the process has generally been fairly smooth, both because my siblings have been given a solid academic foundation and because my parents have not been vindictive.But I … [Read more...]

CTNAHM: Wow! Michael Is Right!

arguing-couple2

By AlethaOriginally posted on Yllom MormonCreated To Need A Help Meet, pp. 157---158Today is a super-short section. It's super short for two reasons: one, because I'm in the middle of a marathon of "Call the Midwives" on Netflix. Two, because I'm dying of shock. Michael makes a good point, and lets it be. He doesn't surround it with toxic nonsense. He doesn't blame the woman. He doesn't name call. He doesn't even boast. Just straight-forward, good advice---albeit centered in … [Read more...]

“Sometimes You Have To Do What You Don’t Want To Do”

Little Brother, Big Sisiter

We needed to get out the door, but Bobby was adamant---he didn't want to go. He wanted to stay home and watch his favorite kids' TV show. He worked hard to communicate and I understood what he wanted, but we really did have to get out the door. Bobby worked himself up into a frenzy and then began to cry. I picked him up and carried him to the car. By the time I buckled him into his carseat, he had accepted the inevitable. He was still upset, but he was much calmer.As I pulled out onto the … [Read more...]

“I So Need To Move”: ENDA, Religion, and Politics

Billy_Long,_Official_Portrait,_112th_Congress

An LGBTQ friend of mine living in Missouri recently used the form offered by the Human Rights Campaign to contact her congressperson about her support for ENDA---the Employee Non-Discrimination Act, which would ban discrimination against LGBTQ individuals. In speaking of ENDA, she told me that while some cities and counties in Missouri have local non-discrimination acts, hers does not. She could be legally fired or evicted at any time, and she knows it.Today her congressperson, Billy Long, … [Read more...]

TTUAC: Attitude Training, Beatings, and Lydia Schatz

lydia-schatz-3 (1)

To Train Up A Child, chapter 12, part 1And at last, here we are. "Attitude Training." I have really not been looking forward to this section of the book. As I think I've mentioned before, I was raised on the Pearls' child training methods, and it was the attempt to control my attitude---my thoughts and my emotions---that stung the most. As we will see, it was also this focus on attitude that led to the death of Lydia Schatz. KEEPING LITTLE HEARTSThe attitude of your children is far more … [Read more...]

Teaching Consent to Small Children

Little girls playing with colorful paints

A friend and I were out with our kids when another family's two-year-old came up. She began hugging my friend's 18-month-old, following her around and smiling at her. My friend's little girl looked like she wasn't so sure she liked this, and at that moment the other little girl's mom came up and got down on her little girl's level to talk to her."Honey, can you listen to me for a moment? I'm glad you've found a new friend, but you need to make sure to look at her face to see if she likes it … [Read more...]


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