“Mommy, You Have Two Options”

preschool

When Sally wants something that is not an option at the moment---say, going out for ice cream---the first thing I do is explain why it's not an option. I explain that we had already made other plans, or that we don't have money in the budget to go for ice cream every day, or that we need to make sure we're eating a healthy diet and ice cream should be a special treat not something we eat constantly, etc.Sometimes, however, that's not enough. Sally doesn't always understand the concept of … [Read more...]

Hana Williams Abuse and Murder Trial Ongoing

Hana Williams

Hana Williams died two years ago, in May 2011, of hypothermia after her mother banished her from the house as punishment for being "rebellious." Hana was already overly-thin from starvation---her parents withheld food as punishment---and she had often been forced to sleep in the barn, use an outdoor port-a-potty, and shower outside. Hana Williams had been adopted from Ethiopia in 2008 by a conservative Christian homeschooling couple who followed the child training methods of Michael and Debi … [Read more...]

SMM: Chapter 3—What Our Fathers Do for Us

man with gun protecting his woman

A Guest Post by KateOriginally posted Time To Live, Friend.I think the Botkin sisters introduce this chapter best: “Because the Bible doesn’t give a huge amount of instruction exclusively to fathers and daughters, most of what we have to work from are the passages setting the patterns for men and women in general” (23).Hm, maybe the fact that the bible doesn’t have a “huge amount of instruction” about fathers and daughters is a sign that they should stop making up stuff that the Bible does … [Read more...]

Abstinence: A Birth Control Method That Is 100% Effective?

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My viral post, How I Lost Faith in the Pro-Life Movement, is still generating regular new comments. Just the other week I got this line, for instance: The only birth control that's 100% effective? Abstinence. This is something I've run into a lot, and something I used to think myself. But it's wrong---and on several levels.First off, abstinence is not a birth control method. Let's start with an analogy. Imagine if you asked your friend told your friend you were going to be doing some … [Read more...]

Under Her Father’s Authority

father daughter

In many ways, my upbringing and background isn't that weird. Yes, I had twice as many siblings as most people have cousins, but in general my upbringing was very normal---for the evangelical subculture, that is. But when I tell people about my background, the thing that always trips them up is the part about unmarried adult daughters being under their fathers' authority, to the point of requiring complete submission and obedience. This is . . . weird, even for the evangelical world. But in the … [Read more...]

Guest Post: “You Are Not Your Own”: Unmarried Women Belong To Their Parents?

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A Guest Post by Sarah MoonOriginally posted on Sarah over the Moon, an awesome blog full of feminist analysis of evangelical culture***Trigger Warning for rape, sexual assault***In case you haven’t been following my You Are Not Your Own series (you can catch up here), I analyzed four Christian dating books (Real Marriage, When God Writes Your Love Story, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, and Dateable) and I came up with four significant findings related to the area of rape and sexual a … [Read more...]

CTBHHM: In Which a Woman Dares to Assert Agency

personal space

Created To Be His Help Meet, pp. 138-139In this section, Debi tells a story. A few years ago, I attended a meeting with my husband where a group of leading men were discussing grave matters, trying to come to a conclusion as to what course of action they should take. The men sat in a circle, with their wives sitting beside or right behind them. Remember, in Debi's world the men do all the discussing and make all the decisions while the women sit quietly by smiling and nodding. Sitting across … [Read more...]


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