Manly Modesty?

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Every time I write about modesty, people comment pointing out that there's a double standard---modesty is about girls dressing a certain way so that guys won't be turned on by women's bodies, and the idea that girls might be turned on by guys is generally left out of the picture completely. In this light, I found a recent article on the Christian Post interesting. Near the end of my pastoral tenure a shift happened I had never experienced in 20 years of ministry. After a sermon in which I … [Read more...]

How I Used To Dress (with Illustrations)

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I recently looked through some old photo albums from my teenage years. Oh, the memories that brought back. Clothing in the conservative Christian homeschooling subculture, especially the quiverfull variety, is quite the topic. I want to use some pictures to illustrate some points here, but I blog under a pseudonym so I really can't use my own pictures, and I don't want to violate some random person's privacy by dipping into google images. So instead I'm going to use some pictures of the Duggars … [Read more...]

In Which Sally Grasps Contraception

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"Mommy, what's this?"In her hand Sally held a condom, still in its wrapper. Sean had cleaned out his desk earlier in the day, and it had somehow ended up on the floor, a leftover from last summer between when Bobby was born and when I had my IUD put in. I could have just brushed the question off with a non-answer---Sally's only in preschool, by the way---but I decided against that. Instead, I pulled out my copy of Our Bodies Ourselves and showed Sally diagrams of the female reproductive … [Read more...]

When You Grow Up Wearing Baggy T-Shirts . . .

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I was fascinated by a recent post by Lana on clothes shopping as an ex-fundamentalist girl. So much of it rang so very true for me. I'll be writing more on this topic soon, but I wanted to start by quoting liberally from her wonderful post: You remember that scene in Tangled where the little girls have to fix Rapunzel’s hair up? That’s totally me in the clothing shop. I’m pretty sure most 8-year-olds know more about women’s clothing to me.I hate clothes shopping. It’s painfully difficult for … [Read more...]

Debi Pearl’s Logic in a 1963 Ladies Magazine Quiz

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I recently came upon one of those quizzes that sometime grace ladies' magazines, this one from 1963. I include it here because, to be honest, it made me think of Debi.Note first of all the entire premise of the quiz: Does your guy treat you wrong? Have you ever wondered if it's your fault? As regular readers will know, this exact line of reasoning is shot through Debi Pearl's Created To Be His Help Meet. Next note the scoring. This, for instance---"he'll never treat you wrong, because … [Read more...]

CTBHHM: An Army of Two

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Created To Be His Help Meet, pp. 117-118Hold onto your hats, because this week is going to be an interesting one. In this section, Debi is heavy on the military metaphors, and it gets pretty intense. Your husband, dud that he may "appear" to be, is appointed by God to be your immediate Superior Officer in the chain of command. Your position under him is where God put you for your own spiritual, emotional, and physical safety. It is the only position where you will find real fulfillment as a … [Read more...]

Question: What Do Presents, Chocolate Bars, Roses, Chewing Gum, and Packing Tape Have in Common?

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Answer: Nobody wants them when they're used.Presents, chocolate bars, roses, chewing gum, and packing tape have all been used by abstinence educators and various Christian leaders and teachers to illustrate to young people how having sex before marriage will ruin them and leave them disgusting and unwanted. Those who grew up in the purity culture probably knew the answer to the question asked in the title before even opening this post.I was reminded of this when reader Laura left this … [Read more...]


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