Grapes with Large Eyes and Big Boobs

I’m a fan of Cracked. But they don’t understand artistic creation at all, have a very wrong concept of plagiarism and plot hole, and they have a tendency to make huge claims based on little evidence. And they also don’t understand Islam. This belongs to a photoplasty which was published on April 28th, but I saw it today.It’s called 40 Myths We Believe Now Due to Tiny Mistakes Years Ago. Now Cracked does have tendency to call true things myths, and it happens here as well, in two photos related to Islam.

This is the first image:

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  • It is true that Jihad also has a peaceful meaning, referring to the inner struggle of the believer to become virtuous. However, it’s completely false to suggest it doesn’t have a violent war-like meaning as well.
  • In many verses the Koran praises those who are killed for Allah, and no matter how hard you struggle internally you won’t get killed.
  • Koran uses the word “mughateleh” and not “hurb” to refer to war, and it uses that many times. I couldn’t find a source to indicate how many times, but it’s a lot.
  • This is clearly written by someone with a vast knowledge of Arabic language yet willing to lie about words (hurb instead of mughatele).
  • Even if it’s wrong to interpret jihad with referring to war (it’s not), it’s still not a “mistranslation”, since Arab speaking people use it that way as well.

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  • There’s no conclusive evidence that Koran is in Aramaic dialect. One dude claimed this in a book, and the majority of scholars disagree with him. Check the Wikipedia page for reference. Actually, it is said that there are many dialects of Quran, so claiming to know the dialect of Koran is shoddy at best.
  • The same book also argues that Koran has a Christian origin, which shows how bullshit it is.
  • You have just blown yourself to pieces and your reward is a handful of fucking grapes? What an asshole god!
  • Too bad for the creator of this image is that hurs are described physically in great detail. This is one example from Koran: “And besides them will be chaste women, restraining their glances, with big eyes” (source) And also So if hur really means grape, we need to conclude that Allah rewards martyrs with grapes who have large eyes and big boobs. Which quite a ghastly prize.

Does Cracked.com fact-check everything so thoroughly? Or is it that like all non-Muslim apologists for Islam, they are eager to jump on every bullshit to support the claim that Islam is a peaceful religion?

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About Kaveh Mousavi

Kaveh Mousavi is the pseudonym of an atheist ex-Muslim living in Iran, subject to one of the world’s remaining theocracies. He is a student of English Literature, an aspiring novelist, and part-time English teacher. He is passionate about politics, video games, heavy metal music, and cinema. He was born at the tenth anniversary of the Islamic Revolution of Iran. He has ditched the Islamic part, but has kept some of the revolutionary spirit.


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