Now I sing what ever I want…..and I play guitar when I sing…..and no one chooses the songs for me….and my husband appreciates and enjoys it when ever I pick up my guitar. So different…so nice.
I have always been a singer. Some people would say “I’ve got the music in me”. I loved to sing but never had the “stick-to-it-iveness” to learn an instrument. I tried many but they just took too long to learn! But my voice was already there and I already knew how to use it. I couldn’t read music much past “follow the bouncing ball” but that was okay. I sang the lead in 2 musicals in high school and had dreams of being a rock star!
I met my ex husband on the set of our high school’s musical. He was helping out and I was the female lead that year. I loved nothing more than to be front and center, spotlight shining, belting out the tunes from the show.
Now my ex played guitar. He was a fair guitarist and played very mathematically. The music was not in him but he tried. He would play for me and I would try to sing with him but it was so unnatural. It was like we were fighting over the rhythm all the time. I would often point to him to cue when to change the chords so that I could sing along. He just couldn’t hear it. We kept on trying and though it was difficult, we were able to learn some songs to do together in church.
At one point, we were involved in a home church with anywhere from 2-6 families or so. My ex would often play the guitar and I would lead the singing. Or if we were singing a hymn, I just led it accapella. During our marriage I picked up the guitar every so often and tried to learn to play it. It was frustrating to me to not be able to accompany myself. After the 4th or 5th time of trying to learn, I finally got enough chords down that I could actually strum along while singing!
My ex and I would play together and I could now actually praise God while I was singing instead of feeling like I was in a tug of war with the guitar.
One Sunday I asked him if I could play for church and he said okay. It was wonderful. The songs went smoothly, people seemed to like it, I loved it and it felt so good. I was thrilled. At the next opportunity, I asked him if I could play again. He allowed it and I think I played for church 3 or 4 times. When it next came our turn to host church in our home, thus making us responsible for the music, I asked to play again. This time he turned me down. He admitted that I was better at it and that the songs flowed more smoothly when I played. “But,” he said, “it is my only opportunity to play and I want to do it.”
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