When I first started homeschooling I was very naive, but I really loved my children and wanted what was best for them. After witnessing many of my peers growing up to live what I considered to be wasteful lives I decided that my children would be protected from that. They would grow up to be productive people with great character.
Fear is what originally drew me to home school my children. Fear of what the world would do to them and cause them to become. At that time I did not trust my heavenly Father to guide my children in the path that He had chosen. I took the reins in my own hands to protect my precious babies.
As a home school mom I wanted to be perfect. We joined a local support group and I began to attend all of the meetings and conventions. Needless to say after about five meetings I began to feel totally inadequate. My children didn’t know tons of scripture, my bread wasn’t homemade, I still worked part-time out of the home, my children although well-behaved were far from the quiet, meek, jumper-wearing, khaki pants-wearing kids, etc. etc.
Instead of seeking my Abba Father I tried harder. This caused me to become very irritated with my children. Then a “well-meaning” Mom gave me the book, To Train a Child. This was a recipe for disaster. The harshness that I dealt with my two oldest children has forever damaged that relationship.
You may be wondering were was my husband. He worked an awful lot. His job requires long shifts and overtime. He supported what I was doing, but really didn’t have a lot of time to physically support me. This is what drove me, not him, to begin to become interested in a father-led house or Patriarchy.
I was so exhausted trying to be perfect that I felt I couldn’t go on anymore. I needed help big time. To this day about 10 years later I am suffering from this drive for perfection. I have totally burned out my adrenal glands, but I have found a wonderful doctor who is treating me. However, my body will never fully recover.
This will be painful because of the effects that were had on my older children, but it needs to be told. Hopefully someone reading this will wake up and get out before it is too late and the relationship with one of God’s most wonderful blessings, our children, is devastated, or even worse our faith is ship-wrecked.