My mom is going back to school!

by Sierra

(Editors note: Thank you NLQ readership for your part in making this happen! )

Some of you may remember this post, in which I described the frustration of discovering that a clerical error had cost my mom her chance to go back to school for her bachelor’s degree. Leaving for school and realizing that my mother would not be able to get her degree felt a lot like survivor’s guilt. I was the only one on a clear path out of poverty. She threw her support behind me, and I did the only thing I could do: studied hard to make it up to her.

Now, years later, a stubborn daughter, a website, a loan and a very generous group of donors have changed the tide. My mother is going back to school!

My mother has been ecstatic about it. She’s even tossed around the idea of going for a master’s after this. The lovely folks at NYIT are working with her to coordinate the last semester of course work she’ll need to get her degree at long last.

I’d like to give a shout-out to my father for his help, too. Despite our history, he’s been my ally in this project. When it concerns making life better for my mother, we have a common purpose. It’s required ignoring our differences, which probably satisfies him more than it does me, but the important thing is the outcome. And the outcome is great!

When I was a kid growing up fundamentalist, I looked around at the mothers of many in my church and absorbed the very pointed message that women don’t get to have lives after childbearing. Their lives looked like an endless cycle of daughters bearing daughters bearing daughters, and only sons had the right to any other narrative. This feeling still dogs me, especially now that I have multiple friends with kids and am feeling the pressure to join them. But I reject that message intellectually, emotionally, and morally. Women matter. Mothers matter. Having a child doesn’t end your life. It doesn’t make you a less worthy person. Valuing motherhood starts with valuing everything about a woman, not just the work she does changing diapers and putting snacks in lunchboxes.

So I want to thank all of you, from the bottom of my heart, for helping me say this to my mom:

You’re still worth it. You’ll always be worth it.

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Read everything by Sierra!

Sierra is a PhD student living in the Midwest. She was raised in a “Message of the Hour” congregation that followed the ministry of William Branham. She left the Message in 2006 and is the author of the blog  the phoenix and the olive branch

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About Suzanne Calulu
  • Teri Anne

    Going back to school later in life is challenging, but also very rewarding. I am 54 years old and in the last semester of my PhD studies. My birthday is two days before graduation, so when I graduate with a PhD in the physical sciences, I will be 55 and officially a senior citizen. In the “hard” sciences (chemistry, physics, geology, atmospheric sciences), most PhD students begin right after their undergrad studies and anyone over 35 is an “oldster”.

    When you apply for graduate school, there is no way to avoid revealing your age because you are required to furnish transcripts of all your undergraduate work. My graduation date of June, 1980 was glaringly obvious. But my professors agreed to take me on as a student and have been very supportative. When I applied for a NASA Space Grant, my transcript raised a few eyebrows but I still won a fellowship.

    So congratulations to Sierra’s mother for going back to school. She can do it. If she wants to go to graduate school, she should go for it. I did and have been successful.

  • http://krwordgazer.blogspot.com krwordgazer

    Hooray for you and your mom, and the NLQ readers who were able to help!

    I can testify that becoming a mother need not obliterate the rest of who you are as a person. It can be a new facet that expands who you are, rather than a sponge that absorbs every other facet. Mixed metaphors, I know– but I’m sure you see my point.


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