Help Out a Quivering Daughter

An escaping daughter from a Quiverfull family is trying to win a scholarship through WyzAnt Scholarships. In order to get a scholarship she needs people to vote on her essay. Her essay is entitled ‘Quiverfull Freedom’.  Jennifer from Charlotte, North Carolina has written about how she would use her education to help those young adults trying to leave the QF type  life.

Please vote for her essay. Her parents are so hostile to the idea of her getting a real education that they even refuse to sign her FAFSA form, which could reduce her tuition by a significant amount. They’ve turned their back on helping her in any way receive a college education.

Please vote on her WyzAnt Scholarship Essay and help a struggling Quiverfull walk away move on with her life and healing.

Help me win a $10,000 college scholarship. Vote for my essay!

NLQ Recommended Reading …

Breaking Their Will: Shedding Light on Religious Child Maltreatment‘ by Janet Heimlich

Quivering Daughters‘ by Hillary McFarland

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement‘ by Kathryn Joyce

 

About Suzanne Calulu
  • Carmen

    Good luck to Jennifer! I have similar goals, so if you have her contact information I would love to speak with her.

  • squrl

    She doesn’t need her a parent’s signature to get financial aid for school! This is a too common misconception. My parents also refused to sign anything for college. She has to petition the school and show that she doesn’t live with her parents, receive any financial support from them and sign a statement that they are not willing to cooperate with her efforts. Even if she is 18 or older, the school must declare her a self supporting adult. If she goes to the school’s health clinic and tells her story to a counselor, they also could advocate on her behalf. She could also go to a social worker or a women’s shelter for someone to vouch for her situation. It took me months and required lots of perseverance, but it can be done!

  • squrl

    She doesn’t need her parent’s signature to get financial aid for school! This is a too common misconception. My parents also refused to sign anything for college. She has to petition the school and show that she doesn’t live with her parents, receive any financial support from them and sign a statement that they are not willing to cooperate with her efforts. Even if she is 18 or older, the school must declare her a self supporting adult. If she goes to the school’s health clinic and tells her story to a counselor, they also could advocate on her behalf. She could also go to a social worker or a women’s shelter for someone to vouch for her situation. It took me months and required lots of perseverance, but it can be done!

  • http://butterflysmemoirs.blogspot.com/ Jennifer

    I did go to the school.
    I spent a lot of time and effort speaking with school counselors and financial aid people.
    I CANNOT file as an independent student unless I am 24, and/or married, and/or have a child.

    I got letters from my landlady, work supervisor of 2 years, my therapists, and two years of tax documents.
    I also wrote my parents an email and asked expressly (with links and information) for their SSNs, their gross income over the past year, and a signature.
    My mother wrote and said she could not help me, I would have to refer it to my father.
    My father wrote a snarky letter telling me to use “God’s” tax information because I was no longer living at home and would not respect him as my father.

    I took all this in after being turned down once and re-submitted it in person (crying and everything) and the FAFSA guy at the college turned me down again.

    I have tried and put in a lot of effort. I cannot prove I was ‘abused’ with court documentation, and because I could still contact my parents, I am not allowed to file independent of them.
    I also cannot get Pell grants or any of the other (majority) of scholarships that require a FAFSA score to determine eligibility and contribution.

    • Jill

      If one school won’t help you, go to another. You may have to go out of state (although a friend of mine in grad school in NC went there to escape Mormonism, so it’s possible NC is supportive). Avoid private business colleges offering tons of financial aid. Lastly, get in touch with professors in the department that you’d like to major in–they probably can’t fight the financial aid struggle for you, but they can point you to scholarships people in their department get. :)

    • squrl

      Jill is right, go to a different school. The school that helped me is a large public state university. Nothing my parents did was technically illegal, so I wasn’t “abused” either and I didn’t have all the references you have. I think the difference must be the school. There’s been lots in the news lately about private schools, especially for-profit private schools, and their incredibly super shady admission/business practices. Basically, they won’t admit you unless you can pay full tuition or can get full tuition covered by financial aid because their “business” is collecting tuition, not educating students. They also promise to help graduates find jobs, and this “help” usually turns out to be referrals to openings at McDonald’s or Starbucks. I would also avoid community colleges, unless you are really academically unprepared for university, because you get only two years worth of federal grants for higher education. It make more sense, from a financial standpoint, to use those grants on the most expensive part of you education, and if your goal is at least a Bachelor degree, the most expensive part is a four year university. Another benefit of a large public university is access to all their resources. I got free healthcare, free mental health counseling and (because my dad tried to sue me!) free legal representation from my school. Icing on the cake was free gym, pool, and fitness classes, all sorts of student clubs, and low cost just-for-fun art classes. All these things are standard, available to all students, and really helped take the edge off of a really stressful time on my life. I also shaved a semester off my Bachelor’s by taking CLEP exams for all the general education requirements. You could start doing that now.
      My advice is: Apply to the biggest state university of your dreams (and always dream big!); after you’re admitted bother everyone until you get the help you need. Public universities have the resources, you just have to find them. It may also help to get as far away from your family as possible and cease all contact with them. I don’t know about you, but when I got away, I really needed alone time so I moved across the country with all my worldly possessions in one suitcase. I didn’t know a soul and lived at the YWCA for the first few months. It was incredibly liberating and surviving that made me fell like I could do anything. Steel yourself, be relentless, and I wish you all the best!

    • B.E. Miller

      I would second the idea of going to a public university and telling them your situation.

      Also, have you tried applying to one of the Ivy League schools? I’ve heard from an adviser at a local community college that sometimes they are more likely to award a scholarship.

      Also, how about setting up a page at http://www.gofundme.com/ ? I’m sure that several folks here would be happy to help you. (Me being one.) And we’ll gladly spread the word.

      You can also set up a blog talking about your quiverful upbringing, and put a paypal ‘donate’ button on it.

      Also, have you heard of the Ivory Tower Foundation? http://www.ivorytowerfoundation.org/
      They might be able to help you.

      Good luck and keep us updated.

      Whenever you get your refuge home for ex-Quiverfulls set up, let us know!

    • B.E. Miller

      I would also second Jill’s suggestion of talking to the professors (and department heads) of the department that you want to major in. There are private scholarships out there.

  • Leah

    Jennifer, I live in Charlotte and I just voted for you. I love your idea of a safe place for those suffering from spiritual abuse. If you need anything else please do not hesitate to ask. I am hoping that this scholarship will come through for you.

  • chervil

    Jennifer, I voted for your essay. Your words are so eloquent, good luck to you.

    I wish I could do more, the one thing I could suggest is to set up an account on a website called DailyKos. Write a diary of your story, your situation, your family and so forth and see if someone there can offer you some advice or maybe find you a lawyer or something. That site has done amazing things for people.

  • suzannecalulu

    I voted too. Your words in your essay were moving.
    Daily Kos suggestion is a good one.

    • chervil

      Sometimes just being able to storm in somewhere with someone standing up with you is enough. Right now, Jennifer, you’re entirely on your own and it’s completely unfair. Sometimes just saying “talk to my lawyer!” is enough to get people motivated. There’s plenty of lawyers and accountants and educators on DailyKos, they’ll point you in the right direction, possibly they’ll know someone in your area you can talk to. All you need is your story, what you’re trying to do now and what you’re looking for, and a kick-ass title to draw in the eyeballs, and it’ll get attention. If it doesn’t the first time (sometimes there’s a lot going on and things drop out of sight too soon), just repost it in a few days.

  • Paula

    I just voted for you <3 Good luck with everything!

  • thursey

    I voted for your essay too ~ wishing only the best for you!

  • Jane

    You should go to a legal aid society and the. To help you file for emancipation. Once you are declared emancipated, you have adult status. The college will have to recognize that. They can emancipate young adults for a less good reason. Get legal help. There has to be a way around it.

    • Sonya

      She’s already 20. But you have to file a FAFSA with parental signature until you are 26.

  • Meggie

    Done. Please let us know how it goes.

  • Lyn

    Good on you Jennifer and I wish you all the best for your future.

  • Marlena

    I voted for you! I know you are planning on going elsewhere, but if you are still considering schools I would recommend Simmons College in Boston highly. They are very supportive, so they may be able to work with you, and they have an excellent social work program for both undergraduate and graduate studies which would give you the education to implement your vision.

  • Emma

    Voted! I’d also like to second the suggestion that you talk to legal aid and see how they can help you. And definitely save those emails; even if one school didn’t accept them as proof of your situation, another one very well might. Good luck!

  • Dawn

    Please keep us updated as to whether or not you won. Even with financial aid, a scholarship is extra help and something wonderful to have!

  • http://www.barrypublishing.com Stephanie Watson

    I’m really curious what happened with Jennifer. I think her school is the one in the wrong here. The financial aid officers do have a way to make her independent in this case. I’d really like to know how it turned out and how she is doing.

    • Aspiring student

      No they don’t, its national, not school related. My parents refused to help me with college also and under federal statutes it states that your parents information and income decides your federal student aid unless you are over 24, have a child, or married. Even if you’ve been living on your own and your parents haven’t given you a dime, it does not matter. There is no way around it. The school can not and will not break the law or help falsify paperwork because they feel bad. Maybe the statues were different years ago but when I dealt with this issue, 2007, it was impossible to get around.

      My issue was my parents make $100,000 a year but wouldn’t give me a dime for school. I had a partial scholarship but for an 18 year old who needs to pay rent, food, car insurance, school. Etc its impossible to live on a minimum wage job. Due to their income I didn’t qualify for any aid, even work study. Also they refused to co sign on any loans so I couldn’t go that route either (no one gives an 18 year old a loan without a consigning adult). Also, as a student you don’t qualify for any Assistence from the state such as food stamps, health insurance, etc.

      I ended up leaving school after not being able to make it work on a minimum wage job. It really is impossible and if you don’t have your parents support you are screwed.


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