Quoting Quiverfull: Trusting Your Father’s Decisions?

by Anna Sophia and Elizabeth Botkin of Visionary Daughters “How to be a Better Daughter to Your Father” – June 17, 2008

Don’t panic if your father makes a decision you don’t agree with. Have faith in God’s ability to lead through your father, imperfect though he is,knowing that God will bless your obedience.

You can help your father by being different from the average girl who is never content and pressures her father to give her a more “normal” life. Some fathers are afraid to lead their families into more biblical paths because of what they know would be their daughters’ response — “No, Dad, that would make us look too different, and all my friends think I’m really weird already.”

You can also help your father by letting him know that he has a daughter who wants to give and not take, and isn’t thing-hungry. Some fathers can’t focus on leading their families spiritually or on fighting the Lord’s battles because they have to work themselves to death as wage slaves to satisfy their wives and children, who are clamoring for more things.

When husbands and fathers know they can depend on their wives and daughters to be content and confident in their leadership, it gives them the confidence to be more peaceful, more visionary, more entrepreneurial, more full of faith, and more bold in their leadership.

Comments open below

QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull honestly and thoughtfully.

NLQ Recommended Reading …

Breaking Their Will: Shedding Light on Religious Child Maltreatment‘ by Janet Heimlich

Quivering Daughters‘ by Hillary McFarland

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement‘ by Kathryn Joyce


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  • Deb

    Oh, I get it….it’s the DAUGHTERS fault that the Dad doesn’t do “his job”…gosh, if these daughters and wives would just get it together, Dad would be able to do his job? How about Dad getting it together by modelling true Christianity, by valuing Mom and Daughter’s gender as being equal to his?

  • The expectations these daughters have for their fathers is just as unrealistic as the expectations they have for their future husbands. I feel bad for them for trying so hard to live in a fantasy world.

  • madame

    This is such a problematic statement….
    “Don’t panic if your father makes a decision you don’t agree with. Have faith in God’s ability to lead through your father, imperfect though he is,knowing that God will bless your obedience.”
    So, what if dad decides to move the whole family (adult children included, of course) away from any stability and into a potentially dangerous situation? What if daddy decides to do something illegal or borderline illegal that could get his adult children into legal trouble too? Ick! ick! ick!!!!

    The problem with girls wanting too much? Why don’t you let them get a job so they can buy themselves stuff? The problem with a wife demanding too much stuff? Why don’t you stop demanding that she do unnecessary things and let her make decisions for herself, like getting a job?

    Being weird is not cool. Parents who guilt trip or force their grown children to stay in a lifestyle that feels uncomfortable and makes them unhappy don’t have to be too surprised if they marry just to get the hell out of there and end up unhappy.

  • Kimberly

    Once again, I’m just shaking my head as these girls try to convince themselves against their own reason and emotions. Brainwashed and brainwashing… so sad, unnecessary, unproductive, and unbiblical.4

  • saraquill

    Bah. My dad loves me for who I am, not because I’m like a Botkin.

  • Rae

    I don’t think average girls their age pressure their fathers to give them a more “normal” life because I’d guess that the average girl their age doesn’t consider their fathers to be responsible for how their life is (or isn’t) happening.

  • This sounds like a setup for girls to be sexually abused.

  • Snipe

    There are so many disagreeable things about the quote. There is no mention of boundaries or reasonable discussion, and the author gives no legitimacy to the daughter’s preferences or thoughts. There’s the use of the term “thing-hungry”, as though wanting one’s own things is bad in all contexts. It is also disturbing that the author gives no credence to the possibility that the father is human and may sometimes make mistakes that could have been avoided through candid, honest discussion. The daughter can’t discuss her preferences with her father because he’s too busy “fighting the Lord’s battles” and being a wage slave? Really? How disheartening.