Quoting Quiverfull: Peace?

by Nancy Campbell of Above Rubies

We talked yesterday about deception. Peace is another area where we can be deceived. People often say that have peace about something, but really it is just a RELIEF from their circumstances.

Women have said to me, “I felt peace about leaving my husband.” Now, I do believe a woman should leave her husband if her life and children are in danger from a violent man. However, many leave their husbands for very weak excuses. And I will also concede that they may feel “peace,” especially if they have been experiencing tension, trauma, and constant arguing in their marriage. But, the true fact of the matter is that it is a relief from the turbulent situation. It is not an indication of the true peace of God which we can experience in the midst of turbulence.

I have had other women say to me, “Oh I had such peace once I had my tubal ligation.” Once again, they were not experiencing the peace God speaks about. They were experiencing RELIEF! “I don’t have to worry about using contraception anymore” or “I don’t have to be bothered with having any more babies,” they think. It’s not the peace God talks about when we put a stop to the way God created us. It’s relief!

True peace does not go against the will of God, no matter how you feel (John 14:27). Once again we must guard against being deceived.

Comments open below

QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull honestly and thoughtfully.

NLQ Recommended Reading …

Breaking Their Will: Shedding Light on Religious Child Maltreatment‘ by Janet Heimlich

Quivering Daughters‘ by Hillary McFarland

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement‘ by Kathryn Joyce


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  • Nightshade

    And slavery is freedom, right?

  • Kristen Rosser

    Ever read Lewis’s story over on Commandments of Men? His fiancee was browbeaten into breaking the engagement by her QF church and parents– and she said she had “peace” about breaking up with him when it was really just relief that the badgering and harassment had stopped. So this works both ways.

    The other problem with it is that it is gaslighting, as Alison says below– and it assumes that a person (like Nancy Campbell) can apply a black-and-white rule across the board to all situations. Unless he’s hitting you, it’s always wrong to leave him– and if you think otherwise, you’re just deceived. This puts doctrine above person, and leaves out all the other kinds of abuse, neglect, and covenant-breaking that can make divorce necessary. It privileges her interpretation of the Bible above all other, more nuanced or scholarly readings of the text. The reading that divorce is always wrong is at least understandable, though I think it’s mistaken. The reading that birth control is always wrong has almost nothing to support it, as far as I can see.

  • mayarend

    If you feel RELIEF about leaving something that “god intended”… What kind of god does that make him?

  • Lynn Grey

    There’s a lot that bothers me about this piece. She thinks she gets to decide who has real peace and who doesn’t based on her interpretation of the bible. She is telling women to ignore their natural instincts to seek and feel relief from escaping turbulent situations.

  • http://twitter.com/TrollfaceMcFart Trollface McGee

    I have had other people say to me, “Oh I had such peace once I had my appendectomy ” Once again, they were not experiencing the peace God speaks about. They were experiencing RELIEF! “I don’t have to worry about one of God’s created organs exploding and killing me,” they think. It’s not the peace God talks about when we put a stop to the way God created us. It’s relief!

  • Madame

    Haha! that was good, Trollface!

  • Madame

    Sometimes “feeling peace” or “not feeling peace” becomes an excuse, and it can be frustrating to have to wait for someone to feel peace about something you know is right and they ought to be doing (like getting a job).

    I think the “peace that surpasses all understanding” has nothing to do with doing, but with resting and trusting. For the woman who has divorced her husband, it is knowing that God loves her and sees why she took the step. For the one who had her tubes tied, knowing that the number or babies she’s born doesn’t change her standing before God.

    Some Christians would say that it is finally understanding justification by grace and eternal security.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001411188910 Lucreza Borgia

    Does she have peace about those thousands of children she convinced people to adopt who were later horrifically abused?

  • Lisa Dunlop

    I believe discovering/encountering peace within yourself is a personal experience that supports us in knowing ourselves. Whether this is a religiously motivated or supported experience is, to some extent, irrelevant. People can experience moments of peace separate to relief. It feels different. In the examples given above people could feel both relief and peace, for slightly different reasons. For example relief at escaping an abusive situation, compared with the feeling of being at peace -reconciling awareness, knowledge, belief and action and having the self confidence to do so.

    -just my 2c worth :)