This morning as I was playing my morning interesting Russian roulette (dangerous for my cup of coffee!) of reading through the various Quiverfull ministry sites I came across an update for the ladies of “Trim Healthy Mama”. If you haven’t heard of “Trim Healthy Mama” it is a book published by Above Rubies by Nancy Campbell’s daughters, Pearl and Serene. The book is purported to be dieting, exercise and healthy living.
If anyone here has read their book and wants to do a review of it for NLQ that would be most appreciated. Just let me know.
The sisters and friends were writing about the book yet it suddenly devolved into a discussion of snakes. Which made me laugh, but also wonder why all of their solutions to said snakes involved running to the nearest man. Did no one ever teach them to take a hoe and chop the head off or to scoop the snake up in a shovel and carry it outside to safely release?
Since I neglected to post either a Quoting Quiverfull or a Laughter is Good Medicine yesterday I’m posting their snake stories here, part QQ, part Laughter and part wondering about snakes and gender roles.
Yesterday I was stuck in Union Station in Washington, D.C. and various government buildings researching retirement for my spouse with the worlds most limited internet usage. After thirty minutes, McDonalds ran me off, thirty minutes later Starbucks ran me off and I was unable to post much.
Enjoy and tell me what you think. Is it how you handle pests or another example of silly patriarchy?
How are all my THM Sistahs? Is your summer season shaping up well? Yes, the pun was intended… it thrills us to pieces to hear about how far and wide the message in our book is reaching and of the fantastic shape ups that are happening all over THM Nation.
As we mention in the book, Pearl and I live in rural Tennessee. Our children’s summers are all about creek fishing and swimming. Pearl and I take our children to our local fishing/swimming hole and sit in the shade together. We keep busy praising all their aquatic acrobats, (some more graceful than others) and cheer on the fishing experts as they reel their beauties back to shore. In between this wonderful splashing chaos we try to get our noses back down to our research papers and writing material that we bring to the creek to keep all our sisters at THM in the know.
WHY CAN’T SHE GO IN THE BUSHES?
I have to tell on Pearl though. Yesterday a beautiful balmy breeze blew across the bubbling, cool creek. Earthy scents of mossy rocks and wet river grass and the intoxicating, almost magical fragrance of wild honeysuckle and jasmine vines danced around our happy gathering. I could have stayed all day accept for the fact that “Miss Princess prima donna Pearl” didn’t want to go pee in the bushes and had to go home to her civilized toilet.
But, this is just a good example of how it takes all different types to make the world go around.
Trim Healthy Mama embraces all types of Mamas and approaches to food. There are lots of purists like me but plenty of relaxed short cut queens like my sister Pearl. You don’t have to be a “Granola Mom” to be a THM and it is even more an enjoyable and entertaining journey knowing that we are not all cookie cutters of each other. But, sometimes Pearl can drive me a bit nuts when she decides to leave me at the creek alone just for the loo and the way she uses her dreaded microwave! (Hey Pearl… love you heaps, mate!)
THE SNAKE FRIGHT!
However, I have some more news about my yesterday. I was in my room about to start my “Spew Session.” You know, the quick exercise routine I tell you about on page 558 of our book. I cinched up my vibram five finger shoes and checked for my proper form in our bedroom mirror as I began my set of jump squats for my “spew” session. In the upper corner of the mirror I noticed a reflection of the wall right next to me and a shadowy dark apparition that swung back and forth. The head of a huge snake… (did I mention HUGE) jutted back and forth, slithering down the pictures on my wall. Horror movie worthy!
An unconscious surge of adrenaline catapulted me into the air. I have never jumped higher in any of my spew sessions. If I was participating in the Olympic Games as a high jumper I may have brought home a gold medal and a world record jump.
Snakes are my creepy thing. I mean, I hate snakes! I would rather have seen a crocodile or huge guerrilla in my room than a slithering, slippery, SNAKE.
I screamed and shouted for all the children to run outside. I grabbed the baby, dashed outside and did a head count while dialing my husband’s number and sputtering about the snake.
My husband who was working an hour away told me to get my Dad quick (he lives close by), find the snake and kill it, or we would never sleep soundly again. Good news is that after much searching in my bedroom, the snake was found. It had slithered under my bed… Ahhh!
This summer in our county has been labeled as one of the worst in a long time for snakes. Our children love to run in and out to the trampoline and then in for a snack and then out to play with their puppy and then in again. I suppose with the door left open half the day it was a welcome mat for our snake.
My children who play outdoors so much (we make them wear big leather cowboy boots) and see snakes more than I do, were not as bothered by the whole fiasco. I am still checking behind every door and bed and even behind the toilet before I can relax enough to pee! But all this is just part of the fun of summer in the country and now that the snake is dead I can appreciate the funny side of it.
Love, Serene Allison
EVANGELINE–PEARL AND SERENE’S SISTER PIPES IN…
Serene does not know this…. but I came home from selling our organic produce at the best Farmer’s Market ever and took the children and cuzzies down to the creek.
Well folks, there swimming in the water over to the rocks where Serene had been was a Copperhead! Being more of a kiwi (New Zealander) than my sisters, I did a “kiwi snake-terror freak-out” and called them all out of the water. The snake went under some rock where most probably millions of them live there!
The children couldn’t care two hoots and went back in after I realized we were not all dead! Now… don’t tell Serene this either, BUT, I just heard from my neighbor down the holler that they released Timber Rattlers into the Natchez Trace–a stone’s throw or two from us!
ANOTHER SNAKE STORY FROM VANGE
Once my daughter went to the bathroom with a flashlight and came out saying there was something big and black in there. I went to look and there was this humongous snake doing the dance! Howard was away and I did not know what to do– shoot, stab, or scream! If I shot, I would shoot the plumbing out of the floor, screaming would freak the tiny children all night, and I could only quickly find a broom to hold the thing at bay.
I called Serene’s husband who grew up with snakes and he came a running. He stood there bewildered, as I was, with the huge thing continuing to do its dance.
We decided to stab it with a sword so we would not destroy the plumbing. I held it with the broom and Sam stabbed and stabbed, then I tried stab – stab! Finally, we pierced the thing and I went to sleep safely. But I always, ALWAYS check bathrooms for snakes ever since!
Comments open below
NLQ Recommended Reading …
‘Breaking Their Will: Shedding Light on Religious Child Maltreatment‘ by Janet Heimlich
‘Quivering Daughters‘ by Hillary McFarland
‘Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement‘ by Kathryn Joyce