Quoting Quiverfull: Marriages Are Like Batteries?

by Steve L. Anderson pastor of Faithful Word Baptist Church (IFB) from his blog – Electricity and Marriage

The difference between men and women is what causes the attraction between them. When a man and woman get married, this attraction is very strong. There is very powerful electricity in their relationship. Often, however, the newness wears off over time, and the attraction can become very weak. The battery goes dead so to speak. Why is that? 

When a battery goes dead, it is because there is equilibrium between the positive and negative leads. Just as electrical energy is fueled by the difference between “positive” and “negative,” and magnetic energy thrives on the difference between “north” and “south,” so the male/female energy is powered by the difference between “masculine” and “feminine.”  

 As our society destroys the differences between male and female, and especially husband and wife, the attraction becomes less and less, and the voltage of our marriages is reduced. That is why our sinful world views married life as being “boring” and “unexciting.” In order to have an exciting love life, they must keep switching to a different partner. It is possible, on the other hand, to have a very exciting married life and be very strongly physically attracted to your spouse as long as the difference between the masculine and the feminine is maintained.

Modern American culture teaches usthat there should be equality between a man and a woman in marriage. This is the biggest turn off in the world for both parties. If there is equality, then there will be much less attraction between the man and his wife. When there is a big difference between husband and wife, they will be much more attracted to one another. If the husband is completely in charge, and the wife is completely submissive and subject to him (as the Bible commands), then they will have a very “high voltage” love life. Equality = a dead battery.

 As men in America become more and more feminine, and women become more and more masculine, the difference between a man and his wife is dramatically reduced. Husbands and wives become more and more apathetic about their physical relationship with each other. This leads to people looking outside of their marriage for the spark and excitement they are lacking at home. If, on the other hand, the husband is firmly in power, being the head of household, sole breadwinner, and acting/dressing in a manly fashion, and the wife is very submissive to her husband, a homemaker, cooking and cleaning, wearing skirts/dresses, long hair, etc., the voltage of the relationship will be cranked up, and husband and wife will find themselves very strongly attracted to one another. Greater potential difference = stronger electromotive force.

Comments open below


QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull honestly and thoughtfully.

NLQ Recommended Reading …

Breaking Their Will: Shedding Light on Religious Child Maltreatment‘ by Janet Heimlich

Quivering Daughters‘ by Hillary McFarland

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement‘ by Kathryn Joyce



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  • According to this, the reason marriages are failing is because husbands and wives are more the same than ever, and the solution is men in charge and women submissive. But then, couples can be equally as different if women are in charge and have the power and men are submissive, but Steve is not suggesting that as a solution.

  • Postscript: I am not actually suggesting female lead marriages, but unlike him I am not positing the reverse either…

  • Picking an analogy to suit your predetermined conclusion is not dead, it seems.

  • NeaDods

    My parents have been married over 50 years and it’s not because my mother has long hair and cheerfully does what she’s told, I guarantee you that!

  • Trollface McGee

    Because when a couple is equal in power and the relationship sucks, each partner has the opportunity to leave without devastating their life.The model that is suggested – the woman, with no income, job skills, education, work experience is pretty much stuck at the hands of an authoritarian tyrant (which is apparently really sexy).
    People really need to stop acting like divorce is the worst possible outcome in any marriage. It can be in some, but in some, it’s a godsend.

  • persephone

    Another part of submission doctrine is that the wife is always available sexually. These men are lazy and selfish. They don’t want to have to make any effort to obtain anything other than a paycheck, and if they could figure out a way to apply the submission doctrine and have their wives earn money, they will. Of course, a woman with income earning ability is unlikely to put up with this treatment. There are exceptions, but it does make it much easier for women to leave.

  • Dr. David H. Olson, Professor Emeritus, Family Social Science, University of Minnesota, compiled a national survey based on 21,501 married couples using a comprehensive marital assessment tool called ENRICH. This national survey, published in the year 2000, represents one of the largest and most comprehensive analyses of martial strengths and stumbling blocks…
    [The study] discovered that (81%) of equalitarian (egalitarian) couples were happily married, while (82%) of couples where both spouses perceived their relationship as traditional (hierarchical) were mainly unhappy.”

    – from David H. Olson and Amy K. Olson, Empowering Couples: Building on Your Strengths (Minneapolis: Life Innovations, Inc. 2000), 72.

    It seems marriage does not work the way Steve L. Anderson suggests.

  • I was going to make some type of Energizer joke about the submissive wife that “keeps going and going and going”, but figured it was in bad taste.

  • Theo Darling

    HAHAHAHA SURE. So that’s why I’m only attracted to femme boys and butch girls and other androgynous people, I guess.

    And he keeps mixing up two separate (but related) issues. Equality isn’t androgyny.

  • Madame

    I’ll take a break from feeling disgusted and give this guy some credit for his originality. I’d never heard this analogy before.

    Now I can get back to feeling disgusted. His recipe will keep marriages together. Happy? I doubt it.

  • Saraquill

    Bah. I prefer thinking that what helps a marriage last is mutual caring and respect, along with working to keep the relationship healthy.

  • Trollface McGee

    Oh but it’s in our feminine natures to be submissive and in men’s natures to be dominant. Any variation is a result of corruption of our pure society by demons/feminism/the homosexual agenda/Obama or some combination of those.

    He doesn’t really seem to want an “opposites attract” type of marriage. I doubt he’d be approving a marriage between a liberal, avid hiker and nature lover woman to a conservative man who’s main connection to nature is seeing auto ads on the telly. She’s just supposed to be opposite in her role (and hairstyle) and everything else, personal tastes, interests, beliefs to be dictated by the man because um ionic bonds or something.

  • Yep, for all his “they must be opposites to be happy together” he does not want her to actually oppose him, be the opposite of him in views or goals, in anything.

  • The thing with batteries is that there is no mutual relationship between them. The one end gives and gives and gives, the other does not give, which is not like a happy marriage at all. When the giving end has no more to give, the battery goes flat.
    If marriage is like a battery, it will certainly go flat, unless powered from the outside. The non-giver does not give any power to the giver.

  • The kind of marriage he talks of make me think of “battery”: Spousal abuse is, by various studies, about 4 times as likely in a hierarchical marriage.

  • Kristen Rosser

    Doesn’t sound like my marriage at all. We’re equals. And we’re still very much in love, and very sexually attracted to one another, after 25 years.

  • Jayn

    As our society destroys the differences between male and female, and especially husband and wife, the attraction becomes less and less, and the voltage of our marriages is reduced. That is why our sinful world views married life as being “boring” and “unexciting.”

    What culture is he living in? I always thought the idea of marriage being limiting and boring was based on gender essentialism–how many shows, books and movies include the husband going away for a “weekend with the guys”? Having a life outside of your marriage is important, but it’s always framed as him needing time with people like him. Same with a woman having a “night out with the girls”. A spouse is framed as being on some level inherently incompatible because of gender differences, and so either partner will need time away from this incomprehensible person to spend with others that are more like themselves.

  • mayarend

    Am I the only one who thought “batteries run dry and we toss them out”?

  • Yep. The thing with batteries is also that there need to be a separator between the negative and the positive, so the two never touch. If they touch, the battery discharge immediately. Instead, we put a circuit-completing object (the battery-powered flashlight or car or whatever) from one end to the next so something can get some use from the battery while it still works. If marriage was like a battery, it would work by the man and woman never touching each other.